Ripped off by an ex. Any advice?

andyward82

I think I'll just calculate what she owes me and ask for that back. Can't hurt to try hey.

ALIBOBSY

TBH if you are considering court action the court would expect you to do a "letter before action" anyway.

Basically a letter setting out what happened i.e the agreement regarding the loan, then how much you believe she owes you and what you intend to do i.e she needs to pay in full or set up a payment plan with you (if you are willing to take payments) or you will commence court action.

Then you need to give a deadline e.g if I do not hear from you within 14 days I will commence court action.

Regarding the court action take any emails, or texts you have relating to this as they may support your assertion this was a loan not a gift. BUT be aware the fact you were in a relationship at the time makes it harder for the judge to find in your favour. As close family/partners do often help each other out.

Definately write though as hopefully she will at least start talking to you again.

Ali x

Arleen

The fact that she kept paying after relationship terminated, and for a long time on its own makes OPs story very credible. I struggle to figure out a story she would have to concoct to make it look like a gift, which was then "repaid" in individual gifts, sized as loan payments. Every month.

But as mentioned before, you will want to step back and think about it for few minutes. Is it worth chasing up? Is she still working? You could verify if she still works where you think she works by making a simple call to her place of work, simply ask that you want to speak with XYZ. Simply do some due-diligence first, that is if it's about money. If not then just go for the CCJ, and consider court costs and loan as "lesson fee," as from judgment to a collection is a rather long distance if the other party doesn't want to/can't pay.

Candyapple

andyward82 wrote: »

Well, I messaged her asking why she's not paying. No response. Asked again each time for the next couple of months to no response. I even said 'look, if you're having problems making the payment just say and that's fine. but ignoring me isn't really going to help'. No response.

If she's been paying you for years after the relationship ended, could something have happened to her hence the radio silence? (e.g accident, death?)

Do you still know her address/still have friends in common that you could ask?

bearcat16

She may have changed her mobile number. I'd make an effort to make sure she really is ignoring you before anything else.

System

bearcat16 wrote: »

She may have changed her mobile number. I'd make an effort to make sure she really is ignoring you before anything else.

I would go for this also especially after two years because not everyone ports their number to a new mobile contract. Unlike when you call someone, if you send a text and the number no longer exists you don't get a message back to say the message never got there. You can find out if the number still exists by ringing it. If you don't want her to know its you simply prefix the number with 141 and it'll withhold your number. She may not answer but at least it'll ring.

Alderbank

She might have a new boyfriend

DCFC79

Alderbank wrote: »

She might have a new boyfriend

Maybes she's got the new BF to buy her a new car or stopped paying the OP as she had taken on a new extravagant lifestyle.

ALIBOBSY

Arleen wrote: »

The fact that she kept paying after relationship terminated, and for a long time on its own makes OPs story very credible. I struggle to figure out a story she would have to concoct to make it look like a gift, which was then "repaid" in individual gifts, sized as loan payments. Every month.

But as mentioned before, you will want to step back and think about it for few minutes. Is it worth chasing up? Is she still working? You could verify if she still works where you think she works by making a simple call to her place of work, simply ask that you want to speak with XYZ. Simply do some due-diligence first, that is if it's about money. If not then just go for the CCJ, and consider court costs and loan as "lesson fee," as from judgment to a collection is a rather long distance if the other party doesn't want to/can't pay.

Absolutely the repayments are really good supporting evidence, just saying these things aren't always straight forward and judges can take into account relationships. The OP's ex could say she was struggling to pay and he had told her he would cover the rest? We don't know how much of a lier she may or may not be.

But you are completely right is there actually any money to recover? You can't get blood from a stone as they say. Good luck to the OP

Ali x

FutureGirl

She might not even have the car anymore that could be why she stopped paying.