Would you say anything?

Fireflyaway

I am so disappointed. Really wanted my child to get into his school but it seems to have gone downhill year on year in terms of some kids behaviour. Bad language, disrespect, violence etc fortunately my son hasn't changed for the worse.
Today a classmate stole a few items from the local shop and tried to give them to my son. Fortunately he said no and told me what happened. Apparently this child has done it several times.
My question is would you say anything ? I know the school is not to blame but maybe if they did a general chat to the class the culprit might think again. Or should I tell the child's mum? I'd be gutted if my child stole and I wasn't made aware. They all leave in a few months for secondary school so 3rd option is just leave it....

Proxima_Centauri

Another option might be to have a word with the shopkeeper whose items were stolen and let them know what you've found out.

rach_k

I would speak to whoever is in charge of family support at school. They will hopefully know if there are any problems at home and will be able to approach the parents in a way that will help them rather than make them defensive. If there isn't such a person, or if you feel more able to speak to them, you could talk to the class teacher instead. I wouldn't just leave it. They may already know and be doing whatever they can but they may not and the child may need help.

Zeni

I would talk the child mum as its best to go direct.The problem with going through school is that it would be them having to relay it the other child's mum and they get put in the middle (which as you can imagine isn't fun and as a teacher I've been in that position before). You could tell your sons teacher your aware some shoplifting has happened and then they could look at it as a class maybe some PSHE etc on stealing.

lush_walrus

Go to the shopkeeper as others have said, if they know who to look for they will catch him out and can choose the penalty.

pollypenny

I would alert the Head of House/Year at school.

At the same time encourage your son to find different friends. As he refused the stolen stuff and told you, he's clearly not impressed by the lad.

Telling the lad's mother will only cause conflict with you, that's if she believes that her little darling could steal.

Fireflyaway

Thanks everyone. Yes, the last thing I want to do is cause conflict between my child and the one who stole the stuff. I'm worried because the shop is close to school and there are always kids in there. One bad kid could cause others to be viewed badly if they see them in a group and assume they are all in on it. Told my child not to go in there if said child is around.
I have never spoken to the mum but know who she is by sight. Not sure I'd want to tell her direct in case she tells her child who told her or has a go at me. As for telling the shop, its a branch of co-op with different staff on all the time so I'm not sure who I would tell. I also don't want them to start treating all the kids with suspicion as most are honest.

peachyprice

Is this secondary school? I'm assuming yes. If so go to the head of year or head, let them deal with it. Better than getting into a conflict with a parent that could then have repercussions for your son.

Fireflyaway

peachyprice wrote: »

Is this secondary school? I'm assuming yes. If so go to the head of year or head, let them deal with it. Better than getting into a conflict with a parent that could then have repercussions for your son.

No they are year 6 and both just 10 years old. You would be shocked at the stuff I hear goes on. How the kids even know the words my child tells me they use, the disrespect for teachers and other pupils. I can't wait for him to leave.

Maybe rather than name the child I might just mention it in general at parents evening in a few weeks time. I worry the teacher will demand to know who it is though.

How did things get so bad. My school days were so different!

Proxima_Centauri

Fireflyaway wrote: »

How did things get so bad. My school days were so different!

We could fill a whole thread with answering that one!

There always have been naughty kids. But things have got so bad now for a number of reasons: family breakdown, easy access to unsuitable materials, the internet, etc to name but a few!

Fireflyaway

When I was at school you wouldn't dare disrespect a teacher. The odd time it happened the school called the parents and the child was dealt with at home as well. It was shameful. Today it seems like a badge of honour and the parents don't side with the teachers anymore but defend their children!