Separating from husband and don't know where to start financially

maman

I agree that changing the mortgage etc. seems very drastic for a trial separation. Surely you'd be better off if your husband just rented somewhere cheap locally or even stayed with friends or family.


Of course it you're determined to go down this route and things could be put back together then you could always keep 'his' property as a BTL.


I have two concerns: why do you not have savings if you're earning as much as you seem to be? (how will either of you manage finances in the future if you've spent up to the hilt up to now) Is your husband really looking at this as a trial? (as he seems to be making more permananent plans).

jamiehelsinki

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Seems a lot of hassle for a trial separation.I'd try something less permanent first. Also remember if you split and you take on the more expensive house that could be a lot of risk if you lost your job as the sole earner. For that reason i wouldnt remortgage as you might be stuck with it - technically financing your husbands departure. You will also need to agree on child maintenance and I don't know what your income is but maybe tax credits. Not being mean but if your husband can't afford much that's not your problem. If the priority is splitting up he can rent a room.

Why do people on this board (usually women) always think it's okay for the woman to keep everything and the man to rent a room somewhere, he's entitled to some quality of life just as much as the op. If the woman was the lower earner the advice would be that the husband should subsidise her in some way.

justme111

(ducking) They are going to wave the flag of children:D.
And that one who wanted separation goes into roomshare because it was their choice. With a convenient detail that if it happens to be a woman that wanted separation she can not go into a houseshare as she is with children so she stays in the house anyway. Then if a man wants it sold/being bought out the "not caring about children and taking the roof over their heads off them" card coming out. It is almost funny to watch if it was not that sad.

maman

jamiehelsinki wrote: »

Why do people on this board (usually women) always think it's okay for the woman to keep everything and the man to rent a room somewhere, he's entitled to some quality of life just as much as the op. If the woman was the lower earner the advice would be that the husband should subsidise her in some way.

I agree with you but in this case the OP seems to be staying in the family home so that child can stay at same school during what's meant to be a trial separation. Obviously it could be done the other way round (I.e.he stays in family home with child) but only OP can answer why they've decided this way.
The only reason I'd suggest he rents a room is because it seems silly to take out a rental or change the mortgage for what might be a temporary arrangement.

Mojisola

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Not being mean but if your husband can't afford much that's not your problem. If the priority is splitting up he can rent a room.

It is if the OP is putting their child's interests first.

The non-resident parent needs to have somewhere suitable for the child to stay over.

System

Mojisola wrote: »

It is if the OP is putting their child's interests first.

The non-resident parent needs to have somewhere suitable for the child to stay over.

Some housahares don;t mind kids staying over though personally i don;t think its practical. I;ve had 2 male housemates who;ve had kids over. One drove me insane as they would get in at about 1am and the kid would be unsettled and running riot around the house. :mad: the other i barely even notice is here so that doesn;t bother me. That said i come from divorced parents and i never once stayed overnnight at my dads. Understandable when they lived in a one bed flat, not so when he'd moved to a house with a lot more space.

Mojisola

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Some housahares don;t mind kids staying over

Some PWC don't like the idea of the children being in a house with other people and try to restrict access because of that.

jamiehelsinki

If he wants to buy he's not planning to get back together and it doesn't sound like she wants to either.

If there is only 1 child involved then 2 bedroom properties should be okay for both parties, unless in an expensive area £25k should be enough of a deposit for both to start again.