Ex buying me out of house before divorce

dearbarbie

Hey everyone

Ah, break-ups. I'm going through a break-up, my marriage ended in August (after 1 yr of marriage, 5 living together). We bought our house 2 years ago and my husband (we live together and get on well but obv we need to move on) will buy me out of our home.

I need my funds from the property so I can go about moving on, and want him to buy me out of the place before we start divorce proceedings as we're in no rush for that just yet. I want to do one thing at a time so there's less stress on me - I will need to move cities, jobs, new life and friends and such later this year so trying to hold it together and keep myself sane. He however wants to do it as part of divorce settlement.

Any experience of this? Also, how do I get out of the mortgage? We don't want to call our lender really until we need to take action - redemption fee is £10k and he's worried he'll need to apply for a new mortgage. He can afford the mortgage in-full, already pays it so I can save up to move out.

So confused with the processes I've seen online, and we're trying to do as much as we can ourselves to keep it cheaper - of course, solicitors will be involved with deeds and legal stuff.

Halp!

MyOnlyPost

I am not a lawyer, this is just my experience of divorce

He will need to apply for a mortgage in his sole name to pay off your joint mortgage. If there is a redemption fee on your joint mortgage you will be jointly liable for this. Usually the mortgage is settled as part of a final divorce because the family home is just 1 aspect of financial separation. If either of you have savings or pensions then the other half will have some entitlement although the shorter the marriage the lower the claim. Usually there is some weighting on the type of assett e.g. leaving one partner with a property with £50k equity whilst the other takes the £50k savings they share may seem fair but in reality the two assetts are viewed differently

Mojisola

dearbarbie wrote: »

He however wants to do it as part of divorce settlement.

Very wise.

dearbarbie

Thank you for your replies.

I've been told by my solicitor that I'm entitled to a lot more than I thought regardless of my contributions, but ex doesn't agree with this (has offered me 20% of that) and I'd rather settle lower to avoid the fighting and additional legal expense...as we want to try and stay friends afterwards. He'll have to get a loan to pay me off and don't want to bankrupt him (ha, even though I'm the one moving cities, jobs, lives, friends and have a huge amount of stress because of this uncertainly.) Argh. I don't want to live elsewhere if my name is on a mortgage though. That's why I want out - as well as needing the moolah to move on.

MyOnlyPost

During a divorce when you go to court a judge will look at the settlement and will look at whether it is fair on both parties, so what he thinks isn't very relevant and a solicitor should advise him of that.

haf1

I'd rather settle lower to avoid the fighting and additional legal expense...as we want to try and stay friends afterwards.

Don't. You will need the money to move on with your life. And, after divorce proceedings, in particular if he is offering only 20% of what you would be entitled to, you will in all probability not stay friends.

G_M

If you can settle things amicably, to both your satisfaction, that seems to me the best way to end things and start again.

Lawyers and courts will increase the tension, increase the costs, and increase the animosity.

Are there kids involved? If yes, that's a major complication.

If not, then try to work things out. Of course, if he's unwilling to do anything before the divorce settlement, that's his right and you can't force him to deal with the house ealrier.

If you DO agree over the house, you'll need

* to agree a value - use 3+ estate agents, and use the projected sale value, not some mad value they'd market it for.

* get a redemption figure on the outstanding mortgage and deduct from the value above

* Agree any shared costs on transferring ownership (legals etc) and deduct these too.

* Thus agree he'll pay you half of the figure obtained above.

* then he'll need to get a mortgage in his sole name - enough to pay off the existing mortgage AND pay you your agreed share

* after that - sorted!

TBagpuss

It much more sensible to do it as part of a divorce settlement, and you should get legal advice. There's no reason for that to make things more hostile, but you need to make sure it is done correctly.

Ideally, he would remortgage to get your name off the mortgage (and raise the lump sum to buy you out) If he sticks with the current lender they may be prepared to waive the ERC (i.e. to treat the remortgage as if it were a continuation of the current one)

It would be possible for you to have a formal deed of separation drawn up now, and then to confirm this in a court order when you do divorce, but it is more expensive than doing it all in one go.

Because you have such a big ERC it would be possible for you to agree a deal where h bought you out and took you off the mortgage at a specific later date - your order could specify when that had t happen, who would be responsible for what in the mean time and what % of value of the house you would get when he did.

It would probably make sense for you to pay for some initial legal advice so you know where you stand. And if you want to negotiate with the help of legal advice, consider collaborative family law: it is specifically designed to reduce hostility and to allow you and your spouse to control the process while ensuring that you are clear about the legal position.

MyOnlyPost

G_M wrote: »

If you can settle things amicably, to both your satisfaction, that seems to me the best way to end things and start again.

Lawyers and courts will increase the tension, increase the costs, and increase the animosity.!

Agreed. My ex and I worked everything out between us before going to see solicitors and then instructed them to do exactly what we had agreed. This agreement was then put before a judge as part of the divorce who ok'd everything and it was smooth and easy.

By contrast my wife had something of a battle with her ex which got quite messy and just made the solicitors more money

itchyfeet123

haf1 wrote: »

Don't. You will need the money to move on with your life. And, after divorce proceedings, in particular if he is offering only 20% of what you would be entitled to, you will in all probability not stay friends.

Agree with this. If he's offering 20% of what you're entitled to, what kind of "friend" is he?

An amicable divorce is a great goal, and it's almost certainly not worth arguing over every penny. But that doesn't mean you need to let him walk all over you for the sake of keeping the peace.

paddedjohn

How much did you pay? How much is it worth and how much is he offering you?