Should I respond to Solicitors letter myself?

Dziet_Sma

I have received a very aggressive, factually incorrect and threatening Solicitors letter on behalf of my ex whom I split up with 18 months ago. Since then we have been dividing care of the kids in seperate homes, me 4 days him 3, although I do school pick up and dinners on his days.
He is seeking and extra 2 days per month to achieve parity and I believe to get at me as the arrangement Is working ok, albeit the children don't actually seem to like being with him (I want mediation to talk to them).
The letter alleges 3 things about my actions that are factually incorrect, I have evidence to prove that they were changes to routine requested by him, but the letter states it was me. It threatens court action for equal care of kids unless I agree within 7 days - mediation is still ongoing.
It also makes reference to financial matters, suggesting I am in a beneficial position when in fact he is better off than when we were together, he pays less out for the children despite earning 10 times (almost exactly) my salary as he will only pay minimum child support.
My suspicion is that he is seeking to enter into a costly legal war knowing I cannot afford this. He can. I am contemplating responding myself and correcting all the factual inaccuracies and stating mediation is ongoing therefore I suggest that is left to run its course.
We were not married although together for 16 years, 2 children. He is seeking to take the house off me where I am living with the kids, against their wishes, because he can.
My question is am I ok responding to the solicitor myself at this stage, I am perfectly capable and have friends qualified in law, and wait until any proper legal proceedings start before engaging my solicitor for proper costly legal work?
Thank you

Guest101

Dziet_Sma wrote: »

I have received a very aggressive, factually incorrect and threatening Solicitors letter on behalf of my ex whom I split up with 18 months ago. Since then we have been dividing care of the kids in seperate homes, me 4 days him 3, although I do school pick up and dinners on his days.
He is seeking and extra 2 days per month to achieve parity and I believe to get at me as the arrangement Is working ok, albeit the children don't actually seem to like being with him (I want mediation to talk to them).
The letter alleges 3 things about my actions that are factually incorrect, I have evidence to prove that they were changes to routine requested by him, but the letter states it was me. It threatens court action for equal care of kids unless I agree within 7 days - mediation is still ongoing.
It also makes reference to financial matters, suggesting I am in a beneficial position when in fact he is better off than when we were together, he pays less out for the children despite earning 10 times (almost exactly) my salary as he will only pay minimum child support.
My suspicion is that he is seeking to enter into a costly legal war knowing I cannot afford this. He can. I am contemplating responding myself and correcting all the factual inaccuracies and stating mediation is ongoing therefore I suggest that is left to run its course.
We were not married although together for 16 years, 2 children. He is seeking to take the house off me where I am living with the kids, against their wishes, because he can.
My question is am I ok responding to the solicitor myself at this stage, I am perfectly capable and have friends qualified in law, and wait until any proper legal proceedings start before engaging my solicitor for proper costly legal work?
Thank you

You need to post the letter - minus any personal details, so that an appropriate response can be formulated if you want help drafting.


The usual advice would be to respond only if absolutely necessary.


In this case, based upon limited information.


Dear Mr/miss/etc


Thank you for your letter. I must disagree with the facts as outlined, but as mediation is ongoing it would be inappropriate to respond further at this stage.


Kind regards






- One cannot apply using the C100 form for a child arrangement order without a mediators stamp to say mediation has been attempted but has broken down.

TBagpuss

Do you curently have a solicitor? If you do, then it is not appropriate for you to write directly to your ex's lawyer (and they shouldn;t write to you direct, once they know you have a solicitor)

If you don't currently have a solicitor then youcan write back directly if you wish. Given that mediation is continuing, I would suggest that you not go through evey point but simply state "I acknowledge reciepot of your letterdated [date]. There are a number of factual erors and inaccuracies in the letter, however, as [ex's name] and I are currently still in mediation I feel it is more appropriate for us to discuss these issues in mediation.

In the event we are not able to reach an agreement in mediation then I will of course by happy to respond in more detail to all of the specifc points raised"

You mention hat yuou want the mediator to talk to the children. How old are your children, and is this something which the mediator has suggested? It would be unusual, and although there are some mediators who are trained to work directly with children it is not usually part of the process.

Guest101

TBagpuss wrote: »

Do you curently have a solicitor? If you do, then it is not appropriate for you to write directly to your ex's lawyer (and they shouldn;t write to you direct, once they know you have a solicitor)

If you don't currently have a solicitor then youcan write back directly if you wish. Given that mediation is continuing, I would suggest that you not go through evey point but simply state "I acknowledge reciepot of your letterdated [date]. There are a number of factual erors and inaccuracies in the letter, however, as [ex's name] and I are currently still in mediation I feel it is more appropriate for us to discuss these issues in mediation.

In the event we are not able to reach an agreement in mediation then I will of course by happy to respond in more detail to all of the specifc points raised"

You mention hat yuou want the mediator to talk to the children. How old are your children, and is this something which the mediator has suggested? It would be unusual, and although there are some mediators who are trained to work directly with children it is not usually part of the process.

I missed this, but good point.


OP the mediator is not there to form a judgment or even offer advice to either party.


They should not speak to the children at all, that is actually incredibly rare.


A good mediator will listen to both parties and make prompts as to what is in agreement.


E.g. - "From what you're both saying it seems that you'd be happy with having this arrangement..."

Dziet_Sma

Having spoken to the Mediation office dealing with my case just now, they are saying that he can take me to court any time he likes. How the judge views the fact that I am still looking to negotiate and he is not will remain to be seen, although to be fair, I am standing fast on this issue involving the children because it is not what they want or what I want so I won't be bullied into it by his and his solicitors lies and threats.

Dziet_Sma

Children are 9 & 11 so not babies.
The mediator said in the 2 previous appointments we had that she would and was willing to speak to the children and that this was perhaps a good idea.
I agreed.
My plan was to go back to mediation and obtain consent from my ex for this to happen as I was instructed but I now feel that it is pointless as we will likely end up in court and court appointed specialists will speak to the children.
I have instructed a solicitor and have seen her several times over the last 6 months. I had not informed my ex of this as I was trying to avoid things being handled by solicitors as I cannot afford a costly legal battle, unlike him.
I have contacted her again today and am waiting to hear her views.

Guest101

Dziet_Sma wrote: »

Having spoken to the Mediation office dealing with my case just now, they are saying that he can take me to court any time he likes. - that's not true. see page 4 below (find new mediator) How the judge views the fact that I am still looking to negotiate and he is not will remain to be seen, although to be fair, I am standing fast on this issue involving the children because it is not what they want or what I want so I won't be bullied into it by his and his solicitors lies and threats.

Link - page 4. https://formfinder.hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/c100-eng.pdf

TBagpuss

He can take you to court. He would simply need to tell the mediator he felt that mediation wasn't working, and the mediator would sign the appropriate form allowing him to apply to court.

Given the ages of the children, their wishes and feelings would be taken into account by a court, and if you and he dispute what they want, then the court can order a report from Cafcass, who would meet with the children, and relay their views (and the Cafcass officer's own recommendations) to the court.

As you have got a solicitor, take the letter to her and take her advice.