How to overcome guilt at leaving

getmore4less

before anyone puts any effort in have a read of the old thread, start at page 7 and work back a couple of pages
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5534332

asajj

It is management's/owner's job the run company properly. Not yours. They wouldn't think twice to get rid of people if there was a need.

Perhaps you enjoy to think you are really important to the company but no employee is irreplaceable really. Think of yourself, your family and your life. Just move on,

Savvy_Sue

Sigh ...

SillyOne wrote: »

I just can't let go of the 'obilgation' I feel like I have 1) to the company and 2) to my likely-displaced colleagues, as in I could do something and didn't.

This is entirely misplaced. You have no obligation to the company, at least not the misplaced saviour complex you seem to be deluding yourself with. You can't do anything for your likely-displaced colleagues, and if you don't do anything for yourself (and your long-suffering husband), you'll be displaced with them.

p00hsticks wrote: »

Any good company should have succesion plans in place to cover what should happen if key members of staff are ill/die/leave. From what you say here, the company were obviously aware that they had gaps in that plans in terms of replacing you, and if they have chosen not to address that issue then it is their problem not yours.

Your concerns do you some credit and I understand them, but the bottom line is that no-one is irreplaceable and your main priority has to be to yourself rather than the company, just as the company's will be to itself rather than you.

Actually, they don't. I don't know if you read or contributed to the OP's previous post, but she is completely and utterly unable to accept that she, at least, isn't indispensable to this company.

I don't use the word delusion lightly, but I do use it.

OP: take the new job. Smile sweetly while you work your notice period. Work your contracted hours and not a minute over. Spend time with your husband, while you still have one.

micky2phones

SillyOne wrote: »

I posted several weeks ago about being excessively accountable to my current employer because the others in the team seem incapable - root cause is company not paying enough to get the calibre of people, which is pretty technical and with pre-requsities, so we got "entry level" people that needed to be trained, but it turns out not everyone is trainable for every job, if they don't have some aptitute to begin with.

Now I am finally looking to leave, and give up a significant retention bonus in the process, but I need a stable income more than I need a lump sum.

It seems clear to me that things will fall apart when I leave as the remaining people have no knowledge, no sense of responsibility, a jobsworth attitude (e.g. I don't know how to do that so I will kick it up to my supervisor - they should be able to adapt to an unknown situation but refuse to) etc.

I already had a job offer I should have taken and turned it down once because of guilt because the other vaguely-capable person announced they were leaving in the meantime..

Now I have an offer an am leaving, I don't know what to say to my boss or my reports. My boss has been put in charge of my function in a prior restructure but could not carry out the technical aspects of the job.

I'm, freaking out and thinking whether I should decline this offer and see out the sinking ship, but now it would only be obligation to my boss personally (I feel sorry for him)rather than to the company.

I'm at my wits end though and exhausted

I worked 40 hrs a week plus a additional 60 hours in the last month of which i "forgot" 50 hours and charged 10 hours, due to scrutiny of how much our function costs.

Hi, move on, i was like you putting " the company " first.

Working weekends, breaks, hoildays to get orders ready, sent out.
But when i became ill and couldnt do my job " theres no other job" for you. Rubbish i could work in any section.

At the end of the day you are just a number.

Do it for you and your family !

bugslet

I haven't read the previous thread. As an employer I suggest you get over any guilt. People move on, that's the way it is. You may find people are actually able to do more than you think. Sometimes an employee that does everything or belittles others abilities, demotivates the other employees. I'm not saying that's the case, I don't know the situation or you.

elsien wrote: »

If there was a redundancy situation or something else changed, they'd get shut if you/other employees if they had to without a second thought.
If you fell ill, they would find someone else to step in.
You're not irreplaceable. It's a business. You are loyal while you are there, then you put it behind you when you move on.
Their poor management is not your issue.

Actually some employers really care and worry when the business decisions have a negative impact on staff.

elsien

Ah, ok, I hadn't clocked you were the same person as the previous thread.
In which case, I'm glad you've moved on enough to consider other jobs but there is still little else to say that hasn't already been said.
I'm not going to go round in circles for a second time but wish you well in your new job.

pebbles88

Hi op,

You have already had this question answered. Several times upon several times in your previous thread as others have linked.

4 pages of exactly the same advice, you aren't indispensable, the company will keep going ŵithout, and you should feel loyalty to your family rather than the company. I understand the money means you'll lose the house/family that you've mentioned before.....

However the comment that you'd worry you couldn't have the time off if you needed to see a sick relative.... Really???? For goodness sake, that's ridiculous. You really need to take a step back as your attitude to this is very worrying & unhealthy. You are going to make yourself poorly & run the risk of loosing more family/friends the way you are going.

There are other jobs out there. Nothing is worth loosing your health over. And I say this as someone who thought similar at one point.
The company just view you as a doormat. Harsh, but true I'm sad to say, they're getting their work done, they don't give a flying hoot what happens to you.

ohreally

Can you not simply move on without blowing your own trumpet and playing the martyr.

If your going then tender your resignation and move on.

directdebiter

Look after No.1 for your career or it will pass you by. Make the decision best for your quality of life and career

getmore4less

Everyone plays the I can't do it game when there is a mug doing it for free.

If you had been claiming the hours on overtime they would suddenly be capable.