How to overcome guilt at leaving

SillyOne

I posted several weeks ago about being excessively accountable to my current employer because the others in the team seem incapable - root cause is company not paying enough to get the calibre of people, which is pretty technical and with pre-requsities, so we got "entry level" people that needed to be trained, but it turns out not everyone is trainable for every job, if they don't have some aptitute to begin with.

Now I am finally looking to leave, and give up a significant retention bonus in the process, but I need a stable income more than I need a lump sum.

It seems clear to me that things will fall apart when I leave as the remaining people have no knowledge, no sense of responsibility, a jobsworth attitude (e.g. I don't know how to do that so I will kick it up to my supervisor - they should be able to adapt to an unknown situation but refuse to) etc.

I already had a job offer I should have taken and turned it down once because of guilt because the other vaguely-capable person announced they were leaving in the meantime..

Now I have an offer an am leaving, I don't know what to say to my boss or my reports. My boss has been put in charge of my function in a prior restructure but could not carry out the technical aspects of the job.

I'm, freaking out and thinking whether I should decline this offer and see out the sinking ship, but now it would only be obligation to my boss personally (I feel sorry for him)rather than to the company.

I'm at my wits end though and exhausted

I worked 40 hrs a week plus a additional 60 hours in the last month of which i "forgot" 50 hours and charged 10 hours, due to scrutiny of how much our function costs.

xapprenticex

Its business, move on if you are not happy and if you can move on.

Life is to short for feeling guilty about a job, if you cant get over the guilt then you can be a martyr and remain, maybe they will feel guilt for you one day :money:

elsien

If there was a redundancy situation or something else changed, they'd get shut if you/other employees if they had to without a second thought.
If you fell ill, they would find someone else to step in.
You're not irreplaceable. It's a business. You are loyal while you are there, then you put it behind you when you move on.
Their poor management is not your issue.

SillyOne

elsien wrote: »

If there was a redundancy situation or something else changed, they'd get shut if you/other employees if they had to without a second thought.
If you fell ill, they would find someone else to step in.
You're not irreplaceable. It's a business. You are loyal while you are there, then you put it behind you when you move on.
Their poor management is not your issue.

You're right about redundancies -- in fact I've been through several redundancy situations at this company, the first 3-4 (I wasn't counting) not affecting me directly, but then the most recent was between me and 2 other people, and I was kept - a couple of years ago now. Before hearing the result I was already on 'reed' etc looking for opportunities (hence the offer I should have taken).

I just can't let go of the 'obilgation' I feel like I have 1) to the company and 2) to my likely-displaced colleagues, as in I could do something and didn't.

I don't know how to off load the sense that personally I can or should be able to do something to help the others.

I offered my potentially redundant job to someone as part of the consulation but it was refused as management didn't think any of them had the required knowledge and capabilities (and they were right - I only offered to assuage my conscience and it was completely self serving..)

p00hsticks

SillyOne wrote: »

I offered my potentially redundant job to someone as part of the consulation but it was refused as management didn't think any of them had the required knowledge and capabilities (and they were right - I only offered to assuage my conscience and it was completely self serving..)

Any good company should have succesion plans in place to cover what should happen if key members of staff are ill/die/leave. From what you say here, the company were obviously aware that they had gaps in that plans in terms of replacing you, and if they have chosen not to address that issue then it is their problem not yours.

Your concerns do you some credit and I understand them, but the bottom line is that no-one is irreplaceable and your main priority has to be to yourself rather than the company, just as the company's will be to itself rather than you.

theoretica

Simply tell your boss and co-workers that as people you are sorry to leave them, but looking forward to working for a different company. They will understand.

TELLIT01

It is not your responsibility if the company is badly run - assuming it isn't your company :-) Your first responsibility has to be to yourself. If the company is as badly run as you suggest, it will go down the pan at some point and you will no longer have a job to worry about. If that happens do you think the owners will worry about you?
If the other staff are unable to see what is happening, that is not your responsibility either.
Find another job and get out.

getmore4less

I remember the thread.

you are the problem.

get out.

74jax

getmore4less wrote: »

I remember the thread.

you are the problem.

get out.

Completely agree.

getmore4less

Did you bother putting your family first over Xmas and NY?

getmore4less

have another read of this post.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=71602877&postcount=127

The company don't care about any of you.