Enforcing a Consent Order and Occupational Rent

Downwiththissortofthing

AdrianC wrote: »

No, it's in yours and yours alone. The difference of a month or so is certainly NOT in your son's interests.

How to win friends and influence people, when you're asking for advice.

So please tell me - how is a delay from early April to early July a month or so? Regardless of your maths, my point is our buyer WILL pull out based on this date, so the delay will actually be....god alone knows.

And how is 'your son must be so proud of you' useful advice?

AdrianC

Downwiththissortofthing wrote: »

So please tell me - how is a delay from early April to early July a month or so?

Six weeks to his exams, remember? One of the single most important times in his life for defining his future...

[Deleted User]

You are getting advice.., to take into account the effect of all this on your son.

You are angry and defensive, may have been through hell, we don't know, we are strangers.., but we might just have more perspective.

You had your son together.., I assume you love him and wish to protect him from harm to some degree? Wasn't that the original idea?

Think about it from his perspective. Why do you HAVE to sell this house before his exams? You've found one buyer, you can find another. As has already been said, after three years.., a delay of a few more months is not as significant as you might think. Or are you just 'showing' your ex who is in charge? What do you think you are showing your son? Someone he can trust to have his welfare at heart, who puts him first? You can't control what your ex does.., you can control what you do.

unforeseen

If it's taken 18 months to get a buyer to this stage thanks in part to the wife then it's pretty understandable that OP wants to push this through to completion to draw a line under things.

AnotherJoe

unforeseen wrote: »

If it's taken 18 months to get a buyer to this stage thanks in part to the wife then it's pretty understandable that OP wants to push this through to completion to draw a line under things.

Maybe it is, but really its irrelevant, even if he took it to court, by the time it was heard it would be past exams anyway,and suppose he spent a load of money and managed to get an earlier hearing, that will practically be on top of exams, so they are going to say "its only a few weeks to the exams now so do it after that".

So being practical about, there's nothing he can do right now, and best case is a sale in July after the exams.

He should tell the prospective buyer its not going to happen until after June, and start looking for new ones if they wont wait, which I wouldn't.

bouicca21

It took me nearly three years to get the family home sold after we split up. Yes the ex was delaying things, yes this meant it cost me stress and thousands in rent. It was worth it to keep as much overt confrontation away from my children as possible. They were young adults and clearly deeply upset. I hate to think how much divorce affects younger children who can't articulate their grief, and I'd have done anything to protect a lad about to sit his GCSEs.

The house will get sold, there will be another buyer. Or this buyer is bluffing. Either way, what matters in all this is the boy, not you, not his mum.

silvercar

To be fair to both sides, if his mother had thought ahead, she too would have worked to complete the house sale well before gcse time, to avoid this upset. So it would be as much the mother's fault in all this, though it would be the father that now looks bad. As I said before, you are being played. There is little you can do about it.

TBagpuss

OK, legally, if the order say that the house is to be sold, you can seek to enforce that order. Speak to your solicitor about the process. You will need evidence so you will need written confirmation from the agents of the offer, and the buyer's clear indication about timescales and that they are likely to withdraw if the sale is delayed.

Think about the realisties. If this sale falls through, how easy is it likely to be to find a new buyer? If it is likely to be fairly easy, then it is harder to justofy the disruption to yuour son.

You could try to be a bit flexible - for instance, offer to agree that the property is marketed with a clean indication that completion will be not before June, but with an agreement with your wife that she will be responsible for the mortgage payments in the meant time.

Think about the impact on your relationship with your son. How disruptive is a sale no likely to be? Will his mum be moving to a smaller property locally (in which case disruption to him may be minimal) or will she be moving to temporary accommodation, moving away from the are where his school is, or moving in with family, any of which could mean a much greater degree of disruption for him. How well does he cope with change and/or uncertainty?

Those factors may make a difference to whether you feel that the cost, in terms of disruption to your son during his GCSEs, and damage to your relationship with him, are worth risking for the sake of avoiding the delay.

If you do go to court then you may be entitled to claim back your costs of enforcing the order from your ex, but you do need proper advice to ensure that you follow the correct procedures all the way through, and the Judge would still ultimately have the discretion not to enforce or to delay enforcement.

What hardship is the delay causing you? Obviously the greater the impact on you, the less reasonable it is to delay

AylesburyDuck

If the buyer pulls out, he pulls out, you will find another buyer....
You only have one son, dont ruin his exams as he is not replaceable!

Ozzuk

Can he live with you until his exams are over? That may placate the mother - she may be looking out for his best interests or she may be using that as an excuse.