How to successfully return to employment after long period of unemployment?

SlipHook

I need some advice on how to return to employment following a long period of unemployment. The last time I had paid work was about 4+ years ago and since then I haven't had any paid work at all. The reason for the unemployment was mental health (depression, panic attacks, anxiety etc) and since then I have lost confidence, motivation and generally feel s*** about myself. It isn't for the want of trying to get back to work, but I have sent off a lot of applications for jobs and I am always unsuccessful. I have been for an estimated 5/6 interviews within the last year alone and never a positive outcome. I don't know if it's my attitude to interviews now because rejection after rejection, but I generally can't be bothered with them. I dress up nice, make sure I look presentable, go prepared, i.e. reading up on the company and at the end of it I am unsuccessful.


I have started drinking because my anxiety is still bad, and majority of the time I take a small drink with me before the interview to keep my anxiety levels low, which helps to relax me. I feel myself slipping into depression again and really don't know what to do. I desperately want work, but I'm also tired of trying now. Nothing ever comes of the interviews and applications. I am at the end of my tether with it all and need to know what I should do? I live with my parents who are negative about almost everything, and I get constantly criticised because they feel I am not trying hard enough. I probably could try harder in some respects, but I'm just feeling unmotivated. I want to change my life because I feel like a sad case living at home at 27 with zero life goals. My new years resolution was to find a job, learn to drive again and pass my test, and move out. I hope to achieve these things still, but I just don't know any more. Sometimes I feel like I am feeling sorry for myself, then other times I feel like I am doing a lot to look for work and it's all for nothing at the end of the day.

NeilCr

How about getting into volunteering?

That will give you some experience for the CV/interview, get a bit used to being back in that sort of environment. Meet other folks and, maybe, gain some confidence

I understand the need for a small drink before something stressful but it isn't going to help. Someone could smell it on your breath and/or (as I know) it tends to make you act a bit differently

[Deleted User]

Go for the lowest job you can (as a job builder)? who knows, impossible to say, perhaps you are aiming just to high at this time or going for the most 'popular' of jobs.

Make sure as far as possible you try with an "Equal Opportunities Employer".

It was as someone else said on another thread, which I thoroughly agree with sometimes it is about doing what somebody else won't want to do eg. work nights, shifts, weekends etc etc

My family aren't happy at the commute I'm about to undertake perhaps - but it's my life, I was in the wrong when I couldn't turn up for the Sunday roast so no matter what I do I'll never please. For the moment I'm not sure I want to do shift work for 17k so have gone for temporary but office hours job at 14.5k (I'm sure the queue wasn't long for this one)

Perhaps another thread entirely - but have just made the 15th day of Dry January especially as I grasped my money could been spent elsewhere when unemployed with no assistance - my alternatives have been
https://groceries.asda.com/product/flavoured-fizzy-drinks/7up-mojito-flavour/910002462357
https://www.sns.co.uk/products/water-flavourings/white-wine.html

glosoli

I don't have anything of value to add however drinking before a job interview is a slippery slope, you really need to get a grip of that before you turn into an alcoholic.

theoretica

Talk to your doctor too - smelling of even a small drink in an interview is a bad idea, and your doctor may be able to offer you help with interview anxiety.

Do you qualify for any of the job centre's work trial schemes?

SlipHook

In response to the volunteering. Yes I did try volunteering in a charity shop, but I kept having panic attacks and because of this I quit the role. I have been thinking of doing it again as I need to try to get over my panic attacks somehow. In response to the lower jobs, I have applied for many jobs including warehouse/factory, admin, sales/call centre, shop assistant at various supermarkets etc. My most recent interview was for waitrose, but I never heard back from them. I am all for working weekends/shifts no problem, but nights I'm not sure because I am not a great sleeper during the day. I could always try get used to sleeping during the day, but not something I'm used to. I certainly wouldn't become an alcoholic, but I feel a lot more relaxed with alcohol inside me.


Usually I drink a little whisky to calm the nerves, It's not great to do, but it helps me a lot. I don't know. I have been on/off of benefits because I was told I wouldn't qualify for disability allowance for my issues. My parents have supported me financially, which I'm thankful for, but it's very hard to explain to them (especially my dad) about my mental health problems as they never suffered with it. Some encouragement from them would be nice when I apply for jobs and go to interviews, but they seem negative about it. I don't know if it's because they're from working class roots, but for them it's just go in and ask for jobs, which isn't possible in this day & age as all places want application forms or cvs with previous work history, references etc. I feel like I am running out of options, I would like to do something with my days to keep busy and earn money. Spending everyday sending out job applications and receiving nothing back makes me frustrated and more demotivated.

Bogalot

I certainly wouldn't become an alcoholic, but I feel a lot more relaxed with alcohol inside me.

No one chooses to become an alcoholic. Please take the advice given and stop with the drinking before it is out of your control. Also remember that alcohol is a depressant. You're not helping yourself by drinking.

annandale

Surely you could claim esa and if not JSA? You need to sort out the anxiety before you continue job hunting. If you are struggling to the point where you are drinking before interviews you really do need support.

Again, if you can't hold down a charity shop job due to panic attacks you probably need support to get over them before you start thinking about full time work.

Your parents might be fed up supporting you financially

Claim the benefits you are entitled to, get some support for your mental health issues and then start thinking about paid or volunteer work.

BrassicWoman

whisky stinks on the breath long after drinking it. a terrible idea. never get employed that way.

best to ask doc if eg beta blockers woud do the same thing. they do for me. (I am not a doctor though!)

dlmcr

I don't think I will have anything especially useful in addition to the other useful comments made but try and see it from the point of view of your parents, especially if they are from working class roots the concept of "depression" probably will mean very little to them as if they are typical working class they will have the attitude to just get on with things because they have to. Sorry but depression to a traditional working class person will mean just an excuse to not be a productive member of society (I am not saying I agree with that by the way)
I think your issue is not really an employement issue and but to answer the employment side of it and at the risk of sounding harsh maybe you need an incentive to get a job and then to hold it down without getting panic attacks? To me it seems pointless applying for jobs if even if you get one you will still have the issues of anxiety and the problems that will cause you when you are working, you should try to understand the cause of the anxiety and then deal with it that way which I appreciate wil be easier to say than do.
The drinking again is probably caused by low esteem and lack of ability to relax and too much anxiety so you need to sort out the cause of it, so again try to understand why you are so anxious about things, I am not a doctor or specialist but it seems obvious to look at cause of the issue (anxiety and panic attackes etc) rather than the issues they cause in your life.
Without being rude you do come across from your posts a bit as feeling sorry for yourself, maybe you should get up one morning, shower, make a list on a piece of paper the things you want to do with your life, and then go outside of the house and start getting them done. Perhaps not a very helpful comment but that is the only way you will actually achieve the things you want. One thing you can do straight away that you will feel better for is start getting some exercise, for example go for an hour jog in the morning and I guarantee it will help your energy levels and self esteem.

sortofwinning

I've got severe mental health problems which come and go. I use a technique called emotional freedom technique. It's not good for what I've got but it works very well for anxiety, which I've suffered from in the past, and it also works for depression. I got rid of severe panic attacks with it, although it did take me a good few weeks (I had had them for about five or six months at the time). Go to www.emofree.com and look for the gold standard stuff, or look for EFT videos on YouTube. To see EFT in action, type "Gary Craig EFT PTSD" into YouTube and you'll see it working on war veterans.


Sometimes you have to do a lot more tapping than what appears in the videos ie what they can get done in two minutes can take me thirty minutes of doing the same thing over and over again.


I've been using EFT since 2002 and even though I'm mad from time to time, I'm not so mad or stupid as to be fooled by an alternative medicine technique for 14 years. It works, but there is an art to it, which is why you need to watch videos and also read the articles. You don't need to believe in it for it to work. It does not work via the placebo effect.