I’m taking control of my life, now.

sashybo

Hi Paws, nice to see you back. Sorry to hear about your dad and glad to hear your husband is recovering, that must have been really scary for you both. Sending hugs.

[Deleted User]

boxofpaws said:

Hello all

Been a long time since I posted. I’m sure the people who were knocking about when I was posting have probably moved on, but just thought I’d let you know I’m still around. 

I’ve had a difficult few months. My husband had a big seizure at work, and scans revealed a large brain tumour. He’s had a craniotomy and is recovering quite well. On the same day as the operation, my lovely Dad was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer , and he died 9 weeks later. I am still reeling from everything.

In finance news, we finally did the unthinkable. We consolidated our debt onto the mortgage. I have NO regrets, I wouldn’t have had the resilience in the last few months to have continued the credit card battle. This was in June, we increased the mortgage debt but decreased the term to pay it all off a lot faster. Happy to report it’s going really well and we have managed to accrue a large emergency fund too. All in all it been good for my general well being.

I will resurrect and carry on with this thread, and post a bit more later

Yours
Paws

Hi Paws,

Sorry to hear about your dad and DH's health.

Well done on the Emergency fund.

Pmo2
xx

boxofpaws

Hello all

Thank you Sashybo and Purplemumof2 for your kind words.

I didn’t follow through on my promise of posting again. I think I was still in shock in March. I suppose every day gets a little bit easier but I do have this feeling that life will never be the same again.

I am quietly determined that we will improve the debt situation now. I’m very conscious that consolidating the debt onto the mortgage is a risky move so it seems like it would be a good idea to keep this diary and track the progress.

It’s a little bit difficult to calculate exactly where we are with the debt because it’s now tied into the mortgage but I think I’m going to do it this way. Track where we would have been if we had remortgaged on the same terms with the original mortgage balance. And compare this to the current actual Mortgage balance.

So if we had borrowed £158,000 over 15 years instead of the £195,000 over 10 years, we would currently owe £151,000. In actual fact we still owe £169,000. So I think I consider our current debt to be £18,000. Considering we borrowed £37,000 on the mortgage I’m pretty happy with that it means we have cleared £19,000 in addition to mortgage payments in the last 17 months.

Boxofpaws

EssexHebridean

Sure, as a rule we would always advise against consolidating unsecured into secured, but there are always exceptions to every rule, and your situation fits that bill very well. Sounds like you have it under control and are working on regaining the lost LTV as soon as possible - smart move. 

As for everything else, you’re right - life won’t be the same, it’s as much as anything else about recognising that, learning to accept it, and then working with the new shape of things, I suspect. It sounds like as much as the shock is very much still there, you’re working through the process. 

Great to have you back posting - I kept the diary on my bookmarks because I was hoping you would reappear at some point when the time was right. 

boxofpaws

Thank you EssexHebridean. I know I don't post but I do read the forums daily. I don't feel I can be much of a cheerleader, we have done all the things you shouldn't do but it does not go unnoticed how much effort YOU put into giving great advice and support and just knowing the right things to say. I appreciate it on my posts, but I appreciate it when I see it on other posts too. You are a very reassuring presence on these boards. Not just those people you reply to, but all the people who are browsing through, or quietly battling away. I hope you know that.

boxofpaws

I thought I would give a little update. I think I might be in a position where I can post a little more often. One day, I might get back to the Good Things/Bad Things posts but I am not quite there yet. 

I have done a much more accurate spreadsheet to calculate the mortgage/consolidated debt. It is great that it is more accurate, but it does show me that I miscalculated how much we had repaid. Using the reasoning above, this is the true picture

July 2020-  £159k remortgage + £37k debt consolidation = Mortgage £196K

Today = Mortgage £166727 (remortgage would be £146540) so DEBT is £20974.

Which is obviously quite a way out on my previous post. But it's £17k in 16 months, which I am actually delighted with. 

I will post this once a month, and any little wins along the way. 

I do have a year to record so will be back shortly with more. 

boxofpaws

A bit of a reflection on the last few months.  We have spent a lot of money. We got into debt due to spending more than we earned (obviously) - when wages were low, lower than essentials. But we haven't paid it back cos of holidays. And cars probably. Yes, we are those people.

These are our last 12 months big spends

Holidays  I know its a dangerous trap to feel like you deserve a holiday, even when you cant afford it. But when we asked the brain surgeon if Mr BOP can go on holiday (was worried the flying might aggravate the tumour), he said emphatically that we SHOULD go on holiday. So It does feel important to have this. We will continue to have holidays. We just need to make sure we budget and not get into debt. £3100 (one hol and one short break since March 2020)

Electric bike(s) Mr BOP had to surrendered his license due to the tumour and his commute is 12 miles so needed a decent e-bike. Thankfully, he has got his license back before the snow £3500

Boiler I have probably mentioned the boiler before, years ago. It was 20, and finally gave up the ghost. We also had to replace the shower. £3700

That's £10k. I am posting this because the emergency fund is depleted and we are in the overdraft by £500 (this is down to the EF not covering the cost of the boiler), which I am less than delighted about. I will post the progress of EF and overdraft alongside the monthly debt consolidation update until the o/d is gone and the EF is replenished. 

EssexHebridean

Well my goodness what a lovely LOVELY post to come on and read - thank you x100 for that Paws, you have no idea how much I appreciate your comments. I’m a bit lost for words - not something that happens often! Thank you - I’m glad if I’ve helped, sometimes it’s easier to cut to the root of the issues at hand from the outside, I think. 

I should think you ARE delighted with that impact over 16 months too - that’s great going, even if not quite where you thought it was. Having the more accurate spreadsheet is a real bonus though - and knowing it IS accurate means you’ve got a great tool to play with going forwards to see what results odd additional overpayments made. I spent many happy hours tinkering with our mortgage spreadsheet - it would almost be worth having another mortgage to be able to play again😁

Take your time on the return to your previous format of posting too - it may even be that a different style is right for you going forwards, but there’s no rush to decide, the forum will be right here when you’re ready! 

Sunshine_girl2

It's so lovely to hear from you. I am sorry to hear about your DH and dad . I always posted on your diary but under a different name . Look forward to your updates . 

boxofpaws

Essex Hebridean - I think I might start trying to post like that again. When I have read back, I have found it a useful summary. 

Sunshine_girl, thank you. I will drop by and try and work out which poster you were. I do worry when people disappear so it would be reassuring.