From debt to freedom...

Cherryfudge

I think treating your Dad I is a very proper use of some of the EF You have the discipline of building it up already so just keep on keeping on and it will accumulate again. After all it's there for when there's a need and that's what this is.

Sensible choice regarding not having a curfew - DS got a penalty because he had to work late.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge...I've had a really lovely couple of days with my parents and brother, inbetween work. I was able to swop a day off so that I could spend my dad's birthday with him. :):) I enjoyed making a lemon and elderflower cake that I decorated . A 10 inch sponge is about the right size for all of us now!

I had a statement through the post from the EF bank that showed I hadn't used it all but I certainly don't want the EF to get any lower.

Work is very busy. I'm thankful for the light evenings which allows me to enjoy a cup of tea in the evening sunshine. So much needs to be done around the house, in the garden and at the allotment but for the moment I can only concentrate on what needs to be done at work and the day to day stuff at home. The rest will have to wait until half term.

Honeysucklelou2

So thankful that it is now half term. The last few weeks at work have been very busy. I still have a fair bit to do over half term.

Off to pick up DD1 in a few hours. We ( DD3,4 & 5 and the toddler ) are planning to stay overnight and not do our usual there and back in a day. Her whole room has to be emptied, so thought that 2 days would be better. I'm hoping the weather will be good so that we can explore some of the riverside walks there.

Puppies are now eating rice pudding and are at that cute stage. I did ask the ex what his plans are for the pups and he intends to rehome/sell them. Two DDs want to keep the puppies but they are the older DDs . I'm not quite sure they are thinking in the longer term as in who will care for them if and when they travel/ go to uni which are their stated aims. The breed is one that requires lots of exercise and selfishly, I don't want to be left with 2 very energetic dogs in a couple of years time that I haven't the time to give enough exercise to.

Honeysucklelou2

Busy day ahead...we've got to pack up all of DD1's things! She has packed up some cases but a quick glance at the desk suggests there's a way to go! My lovely dad paid for our premier inn room, so only costs so far have been diesel and paying for dinner last night, but happily, in the children's eyes, there is a McDonalds next door so food costs for us all wasn't too bad.
We were able to enjoy one of the river walks near to DD1's uni. It was so peaceful, lots of irises starting to flower and so much blossom on the trees being blown off as we walked through, it was like confetti! I'm determined to enjoy the brief time away as I know lots of work awaits when I get back home.

Honeysucklelou2

Sunday was indeed a busy day, simply packing up a room full of DD's stuff. So much stuff!! The subject that she is studying means that she has lots of materials, a bootful or 2! I'm glad my dad pointed out that I wouldn't be able to get it all back on my own and offered his help.

Yesterday was spent rearranging cupboards to accommodate the pots, pans, bedding etc so they can be stored until September. I've left DD1 to sort through all her materials. It prompted me to sort out some things at home too, so a tip run was done yesterday as well. I need to get practical jobs done over the summer. There are piles of old wood in one area of the garden that could usefully be sawn up and stacked to dry for the winter rather than being a random pile of huge logs, too big to fit into the wood burner.

Whilst away I have done lots of thinking about the budget and realised that I tend to know which bills are paid and when and am careful to record my spending but I seem to list the direct debits and allocate money for those and then financially fire fight the most pressing need with the remainder, rather than allocating money to different pots. I was reading TOPMs diary and was impressed by her saving for a trailer purchase because she had that particular allocated pot. My budget is easily thrown by various things that crop up for the children, so birthday party invites or school trips that don't happen every month but there always seems to be something for one of them that surprises me. I haven't figured it all out yet but I know I need to allocate rather than fire fight if you see what I mean, particularly as I have legal fees to consider for the separation and I need to be prepared for whatever is decided for long term living arrangements.

Honeysucklelou2

Also managed to get a trip to the beach in yesterday. We went back to the cove we found in February, off the beaten path and had a lovely time. I actually got 2 chapters of my book read which is a success!! I confess I did buy a cool box so that our picnic could be readily transported. I thought that it would also come on useful for our weekly beach teas.

louby40

Hi you sound like you're having a busy half term.

I have a list of appointments this week which include, blood doning, hairdressers, dentist, doctors and nail appointment. I also have to fit in writing 29 school reports - I've actually completed 15 of them now.

They don't have to be given in until the end of June but I just want them out of the way.

I can't believe there are only 7 weeks left until the end of the academic year!

Honeysucklelou2

I'm very impressed...haven't started my reports yet, although hoping to get started by the end of the week.

Kitten868

Hello HSL,

I've just read your whole diary and WOW I am in awe of you. How you can look after 8 children 18 - 1 and work almost full time solo? I feel anxious just thinking about navigating your life. The level of organisation just to get out of the door, I cannot even imagine. So you get a gold star from me. Then the fact that when you stop looking after 8 children you are looking after 30 is astounding. When do you get to adult? And then on top of all that you manage to find all this time to do all these lovely things with your children. And bake. And bake. And plant. And bake. You say you're an occasional insomniac... I think your lying and you never sleep and don't need to.

I notice you haven't mentioned the tax credits situation in ages. Please, please, please say you've booked an appointment for advice. The people on the phone are no good - it depends on who you get and what mood they're in as to what they say to you. I've been called a scrounger and told to stop having kids on the phone to them before. She was delightful. It's a argument that could save you £2500! It's not fair given you didn't lie, you just didn't know what phrase applied to the toxic madness of your ex.

Speaking of. Please apply for maintenance. Not for you but for your children. You can put it away for their budding futures that are happening now. Not a nag but a reminder that you do deserve to get that money.

An idea for ds1 that might be barking up the wrong tree. My husband is an engineer in the royal navy. He loves it. He's learnt so much and gets to work with his hands all day. He loves the team ethic. It's better pay than an apprenticeship and he will see the world. It's not for everybody but for some people they won't know until they try.

Another idea: are any of the local farms around you open to an apprenticeship? They might get paid to do it?

Keep up the amazing work. Oh and did you look at applying for a loan to pay off your evil life sucking loan? Xxx

Honeysucklelou2

Hi Kitten868, thanks for dropping by and wow on the reading of the whole diary. I must confess I haven't yet got to CAB or rung back the tex credits people. I have the renewal pack to complete and fill in before 31st July. Last year I was shocked by the attitudes and responses of the telephone assistants at the tax credit office. There is a part of me that is afraid that if I make a fuss they will make me pay back even more.

I am having to look for a new solicitor as my case is not progressing very well at the moment. I've been waiting for 2 years to get the legal separation sorted out. Hopefully then the maintenance and access details can be set out.

Thank you for the ideas for DS1. I hadn't thought about the Royal Navy. I'll mention that to him, thank you. At the moment he is talking about getting a summer job so I've helped him to apply for a couple online.

DD1 starts work at her summer job on Monday. I'm really pleased for her as she has really enjoyed working there and is excited about starting again. She totally surprised me yesterday by buying me a present of a chiminea. We had great fun putting it together and for the last 2 nights we've sat around the chiminea and toasted marshmallows. I do enjoy having a cup of tea in the garden at dusk but this allows us to sit for a little longer and not get cold. DD1 also found these logs to go in the chiminea, that are £1 a go and burn for ages. A really unusual and thoughtful gift!