Divorce at 60 plus

Mrs_pbradley936

I have a friend that is considering divorce. She and her husband are both over 60 and have been married for over 40 years (why she wants to bother after all this time I don't know - but still). Her husband is still working, she has not worked for years. They do have children but all are in their 30s and none are living at home.

Does anyone know how any assets are likely to be divided? There is a house which is paid for, he will have a decent pension to come but for now is still working. He has some investments and she has about 40K left to her when her mother died.

Primrose

I don't know but after 40 years I would suspect a 50/50 split of house equity, her inheritance, his investments and his pension assets.

They will both end up a lot poorer and have a lower standard of living. Unless there are other parties involved and the relationship has become very acrimonious they might be be better off financially just agreeing to trying to live separate lives under the same roof. I know one couple who have achieved this very successfully and it has caused far less emotional and physical disruption to their lives than would otherwise have been the case.

comeandgo

My husband divorced in similar ages and his ex wife got 50% of all assets they both had, and an amount to tide her over till her pensions came in as she had never worked. This amounted to £500 a month for 3 years but was paid in the settlement rather than monthly.

Mrs_pbradley936

Primrose wrote: »

I don't know but after 40 years I would suspect a 50/50 split of house equity, her inheritance, his investments and his pension assets.

They will both end up a lot poorer and have a lower standard of living. Unless there are other parties involved and the relationship has become very acrimonious they might be be better off financially just agreeing to trying to live separate lives under the same roof. I know one couple who have achieved this very successfully and it has caused far less emotional and physical disruption to their lives than would otherwise have been the case.

They have been living like you mention for years! It would suit the wife to remain like it - it does not suit the husband. Unless you knew them very well you would never know because they still show up as a couple to weddings, funerals etc.

It may all be just talk and the time of year, but the husband might want/have a new lady in his life.

margaretclare

'Why she wants to bother after all this time...' unbelievable. She's only 60 - a spring chicken by today's standards. Life is for living, and although a friend, you really don't know all the ins and outs of what goes on behind closed doors. So they put on a united front at weddings etc - you still can't tell.

You may not be able to understand it, but I can.

Legally, in what is called a 'long marriage' i.e. over 20 years, the starting-point is a 50/50 split, but there may be room for negotiation. I think I'd say to your friend 'go for it, you may have little to lose and a whole new life to regain'.

Lily-Rose_3

margaretclare wrote: »

'Why she wants to bother after all this time...' unbelievable. She's only 60 - a spring chicken by today's standards. Life is for living, and although a friend, you really don't know all the ins and outs of what goes on behind closed doors. So they put on a united front at weddings etc - you still can't tell.

You may not be able to understand it, but I can.

Legally, in what is called a 'long marriage' i.e. over 20 years, the starting-point is a 50/50 split, but there may be room for negotiation. I think I'd say to your friend 'go for it, you may have little to lose and a whole new life to regain'.

This ^

Why should a woman (or a man!) stay in a shoddy/unhappy/rubbish marriage if they have the opportunity to leave? Just because they are 60?

I know many a couple who have split after many decades together (in most cases the woman has left,) and they have been together 30-40 years! In most cases, the person who left has said they don't know why they stayed so long, they were never in love with their ex, and they wish they had left years ago.

One lady I know, says she never found true love until she was 56! She was married for 35 years. Married at 21, with her hubby til 56. 35 years of marriage with a man she didn't love. Quite sad really. She met someone on a walk by the canal one day, chatted for an hour, and knew instantly she wanted to be with him. Both left their respective spouses within several months. Not cool and upset 2 families, but she said she has been living a lie for 35 years, and had never known love til she met her new man. 10 years later they are still together. Took a long time for her children to accept what she had done.

Re the OP: I would imagine that it would be a 50/50 split, no matter how much someone's inheritance was/is, or what investments they have.

Dird

Maybe she will get 100% http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-28756374, the black widow