don't know whether to stay single or be in a relationship? what would you advise?

fitnessguy1

i have been in an on/off relationship with a girl for around a year now and at the moment we're off. i occasionally meet other women while we are not dating and i enjoy the single life, but i also enjoy having someone i can share stuff with and the company, as well as the regular sex (definitely one of the best things).

i just don't know what i should do. i don't know if we're good for each other though because we're arguing more than usual and she does irritate me with things she says and does. i am just debating with myself whether, if we don't stay together, to remain single or go on more dates with the intention of getting into a relationship.

really not sure. has anyone had similar decisions to make on what they should do in this situation?

Lambyr

You should be single right now.

indiepanda

Never make the mistake of being with anyone for the sake of being with someone. If you are arguing often and what she says and does irritates you then you aren't right for each other.

As to whether you should look for a relationship, my question would be are you open to the idea of committing yourself to one person if you meet someone who is more compatible with you? If you have no inclination to be faithful to anyone, you might as well enjoy the single life.

Bogalot

What is an on/ off relationship? If the offs have been long enough to meet other women, have long have you been on for?

Is this more of a friends with benefits scenario?

Andybez38

Been in long term relationships, found it easier being alone. Yeah sometimes i'm lonely. But i'd rather be alone than a relationship i wish i wasn't in.

Bogalot

Andybez38 wrote: »

Been in long term relationships, found it easier being alone. Yeah sometimes i'm lonely. But i'd rather be alone than a relationship i wish i wasn't in.

People in relationships can also be lonely, so you're not missing anything there. Plus when you're single you always get control of the tv remote

penguingirl

Do you see yourself together in 5 years time? Do you have any shared goals for the future? Are you compatible with things like family and money (so many couples argue over both those things)? If the answer is no, then probably single is the answer. If the problem is that you want to be in a relationship, but not with her, you are not going to find a better relationship whilst being with the wrong person.

jamiehelsinki

Two things I miss about a regular relationship are someone to go on holidays with and regular sex.

There are many things I enjoy about being single though.

Been on a few dates off pof recently and that's a laugh. If I met someone I really liked and they wanted to then I would give the relationship game another go but not to bothered to be honest.

I don't get nagged, I'm not subsidising my wife, I go to away games as well as home games with football and my relationship with my children is much better.

Person_one

Doesn't sound like you really like the woman all that much, you don't say anything that's actually about her, just that it's nice to have company and sex!

If you do want a long term relationship, it shouldn't be with this person, and it's not fair on her to get back together for the sake of it just because it's easier! Stay 'off' and look for somebody who's a more suitable partner for you.

fitnessguy1

Bogalot wrote: »

What is an on/ off relationship? If the offs have been long enough to meet other women, have long have you been on for?

Is this more of a friends with benefits scenario?

no, not with benefits, just we have/had feelings for one another strong enough to keep bringing us back together, but just getting a bit fed up of trying to "make it work" so to speak.

i just think it might be time to meet new people. i might be a bit to blame too because i have been so back n forth with her about us instead of ending it.

indiepanda

fitnessguy1 wrote: »

no, not with benefits, just we have/had feelings for one another strong enough to keep bringing us back together, but just getting a bit fed up of trying to "make it work" so to speak.

i just think it might be time to meet new people. i might be a bit to blame too because i have been so back n forth with her about us instead of ending it.

If you are having to try that hard to make it work in the first year I think you might be better cutting your losses and learning from your experiences. Unless one or both of you have had other big issues to deal with in your life at the same time which has got in the way, I don't think it should be that hard that soon - that's why they call it the honeymoon period.

There are worse things than being single, and being in a half hearted relationship is definitely one of them.