Help needed on child being taken into care

usernamefailed

I can't find any info on this online, but I'm wondering if anyone can give some advice?

This is on behalf of my Mum, - her friend has his 5 year old Granddaughter under a kinship care order for the past few months (her mothers an absolute disgrace, but thats another story)

Last night he broke down & told my Mum he's found it so difficult to try & work around school runs / work (hes self employed, the school is a half hour drive away), being a full time (single) 'dad' etc, that at the point of desperation he rang social services to take her into foster care!!.
He foolishly didn't tell ANYONE he was going to do this obviously he should have discussed it with his family - my Mums about to have a chat with him, but what she's wondering is when does talk to his family & tell them how much he's struggling - they'll obviously be happy to help & provide support to him - would SS put a stop to proceedings?

Its all such a mess that could have so easily been avoided had he just TALKED to my mum & his family about it, hes just tried to shoulder it all on his own and he's hit breaking point. he's had no support from anywhere really and not shown any sign of struggling.. its so sad. He just wanted to do best for his grandchild, nobody expected him to do it alone but he said he was fine & managing, his parents had no idea he was struggling either!

He rang SS two days ago and they've got back to him today to let him know they'll be picking her up next week
My Mums devastated & told him off for not saying anything sooner & especially before ring SS, she has my niece several times a week & told him she'd have been more than happy to help out with his granddaughter too had he not just said!

So, once the phone call has been made is it too late to go back on that ? given the fact he's now spilled his guts and has a whole network of support he had no idea was even there.

jog

Hi,

Social care will normally look to kin for foster care if at all possible, so I suspect that if there are other family members who may be able to help they need to contact the social worker as quickly as possible to ask to be considerd, having said that anyone putting themselves forward would have to be assesed to check they are suitable, and depending on the court orders in place, social care may have to either have permission from the people with parental responsibility for the placement or go through the courts, all of which will take time.

The starting point would be for the family to talk to each other and speak to the social worker as soon as possible.

Hope they can sort things out.

usernamefailed

thanks so much for your reply.. it sounds like all is not entirely lost then.
Fingers crossed.

Person_one

I'm sure he's not the first foster carer to say this kind of thing when struggling and at a low ebb. He should just call the social worker first thing tomorrow, explain the situation and ask for more support.

ripplyuk

Could there be a reason he felt the child would be better off in foster care, rather than asking family?

If he feels it was a mistake, he can speak to the social worker again. In my experience, they do everything possible to avoid the expense of foster care, so he can tell them he just needs more support instead.

usernamefailed

Thank you all.
The thing is he hasn't had any support from social workers or anyone! Hes kind of just been left to it.
TBF for a man in his mid 40's having full time care of a 5 year old girl can't be easy He does his best bless him, shes so well looked after and she absolutely adores her Granddaddy, he's learnt to do plaits & ponytails & all manner of girly stuff, but I guess its all got too much to take on alone

elsien

I suspect he may be eligible for more help than he's actually getting.

Anything in here of any use? (Presuming he's in England)
http://www.grandparentsplus.org.uk/kinship-care-guide-england

jamiehelsinki

The child should have a social worker who comes to visit them, he needs to ask about respite care to help him etc.

jamiehelsinki

Does the girls school run breakfast or after school clubs?

I'm not sure if this is run in just Wales or England/Wales though.

It can be useful to drop the children off at 8:15 instead of 8:45 and pick them up at 4:00 instead of 3:20 etc.

Proxima_Centauri

usernamefailed wrote: »

Thank you all.
The thing is he hasn't had any support from social workers or anyone! Hes kind of just been left to it.
TBF for a man in his mid 40's having full time care of a 5 year old girl can't be easy He does his best bless him, shes so well looked after and she absolutely adores her Granddaddy, he's learnt to do plaits & ponytails & all manner of girly stuff, but I guess its all got too much to take on alone

People are starting families later these days, - it's really not that unusual for someone aged 40-45 to have a baby, meaning that someone in their mid to late 40s would be in charge of a 5 year old child.

I do hope the little girl doesn't get uprooted again, seeing as she loves her granddad and he obviously loves and cares for her.

TBagpuss

He can talk to the Social Workers again, and explain that he was struggling but would like his granddaughter to stay with him and is trying to access siome more support and help.

Specifc things to check:

- Is he recieving a fostering allowance from the Local Authority? If the child is subject to a are order (not just with him on a voluntary basis) he should be eligible

- Can the LA offer respite care rather than placing her in foster care?

- What practical help does he need - it would be useful if people such as yor mum are very specifc about waht they are offering. As the child is in care then it is possible that the LA may want to talk to her

- COntac t the Child's Guardian (assuming that there are still ongoing court proceedings) - this is someone who is appointed by the court to reperesent the child and her interests. She is separate from the Local Authority and may be able to offer support and, crucially, to back him up if he is asking for help from the LA.

- On a practical level, has he made a flexible working request to his employer? (https://www.gov.uk/flexible-working/overview ). If he could arrange to vary his hours so that he could od the schoolrun at leastsome of the time, it miht help (for instnace, he might find he could copebetter if he was doing the school run a couple of days a week and his granddaughter was witha childminder or family member a few times a week, rhather than evey day.

- check with the school about breakfast clubs or after school clubs. if money is an issue, the LA may be able to help with the cost.

Unfortunately most local authorities are understaffed and unerfunded, so he will probably need to be the 'squeaky wheel' to get help.