Bullying at work

tom222

I need a bit of advice, this could go on for ages but I'll keep it as short as possible;

I work in a supermarket and have done for the past 7 years, I am a 24 year old male and I am being bullied/harrassed by a 65 year old woman and a 50 year old woman in my department. Sounds stupid even writing that but it is what it is lol.

Little bit of background - 65y/o stopped talking to me 10 months ago primarily because I didn't do a task one day (which I couldn't do for valid reasons), then eventually cut me off completely when I went home at my contracted time one day (a day where I contractually finish earlier than normal, but we were overly busy so it really peed her off). 50y/o stopped talking to me for seemingly no reason (truly have no idea why) about 2 months ago. The ONLY reason I think is because she is good friends with 65y/o and they are essentially trouble makers that like to try and mould the departmental team to who they want to work with. They consistently pick holes in my work and call me lazy, despite the fact they do next to nothing (not being bitter here - they truly do hardly anything).

Now, 50y/o has previously been kicked off a different department for causing trouble and since being in the current department, has successfully (along with 65y/o) essentially bullied two other colleagues out of the department (cutting them off/belittling their work/turning others against them).

This has been going on too long now and I have seriously had enough of it so tomorrow morning I am asking my manager for a formal meeting to discuss this. I've made complaints against them in the past, as have other people, but nothing is ever said to them. It seems that because they're "sweet little 'old' ladies" they get away with murder. So making this formal is the only way that anything is ever going to be said to them.

The only problem is there is no concrete evidence of anything. It's all petty little things - pushing things in the way, closing doors despite knowing I'm going in and out, taking photos of mistakes, etc. so I'm not sure how it's going to go.

I have a history of mental health issues and this is really starting to affect that so I need to have them dealt with. I'm a bit worried, however, that when I do raise this grievance/complaint, that I will be asked to move department, rather than the bullies, which would be completely unfair and not something I would be unwilling to do as my job attracts a greater rate of pay to the rest of the store.

Does anyone have any advice please? Just about had enough of this

Bogalot

With no evidence, what do you expect the management to do? I can understand your frustration, but I can also see it from the employer's point of view. Is anyone willing to support you in making an allegation?

My advice would be to look after yourself. If that means moving departments then do it, your health comes first.

tom222

Bogalot wrote: »

With no evidence, what do you expect the management to do? I can understand your frustration, but I can also see it from the employer's point of view. Is anyone willing to support you in making an allegation?

My advice would be to look after yourself. If that means moving departments then do it, your health comes first.

There are at least 3 other people in the department that would back up my claims 100%. But what evidence is there ever really in a bullying grievance? It's all spoken word or petty things as I mentioned, is there ever really concrete evidence?

The management know what these two are like, he has said to me himself before that he "knows they like to stir the !!!!" and the 50y/o getting kicked from her old department will still be on record.

It just infuriates me that management don't seem to have any backbone to deal with these stupid situations.

Bogalot

tom222 wrote: »

There are at least 3 other people in the department that would back up my claims 100%. But what evidence is there ever really in a bullying grievance? It's all spoken word or petty things as I mentioned, is there ever really concrete evidence?

The management know what these two are like, he has said to me himself before that he "knows they like to stir the !!!!" and the 50y/o getting kicked from her old department will still be on record.

It just infuriates me that management don't seem to have any backbone to deal with these stupid situations.

Would they back you up, have they agreed to come with you? People might be aware of it but choose to stay out of it for a quiet life. They may support you, but you won't know for sure until it happens.

I hope you get something sorted, but you need to be realistic in your expectations. If the management will not/ cannot do anything, then you can make a choice to make things better for yourself.

tom222

Bogalot wrote: »

Would they back you up, have they agreed to come with you? People might be aware of it but choose to stay out of it for a quiet life. They may support you, but you won't know for sure until it happens.

I hope you get something sorted, but you need to be realistic in your expectations. If the management will not/ cannot do anything, then you can make a choice to make things better for yourself.

I know for a fact that two of them will back me up. Third might want to stay out of it which is fair enough. All I really want is for him to have a word and make them aware of what they are doing. For some reason they seem to feel like they own the department. My manager has noticed in the past how down I've been about work and has said ages ago he will have a chat if he wants me to, which I stupidly objected to, so I'm sure he will do that. But I want them dealt with in a more sever way really, I know not to expect too much though ha

TELLIT01

You have done the right thing by requesting a meeting with the manager. At least that way your complaint / concern is on record. You have said there is little in the way of concrete evidence against these 2 so it will be difficult for management to take action.
In the management's defence, there's a big difference between 'knowing what they're like' and having solid evidence upon which action can be taken. They have been around long enough to know not to do anything obvious in front of the managers.
I tend to agree with others who suggest that requesting a move of department would be the easiest way forward. Don't look on it as them 'winning', just look forward to a happier working environment.

ThemeOne

The usual advice in cases of this kind is to keep a diary of events. It's not proof, obviously, but it will lend weight to your case and give your line manager something to challenge the women with. If you haven't kept a diary you might be able to do one retrospectively before your meeting.

What will happen then who knows. A lot of managers are spineless when it comes to controlling long-standing employees, no matter how much trouble they cause, so you'll have to see how the meeting goes.

Another option might be to lodge an official grievance via HR.

All options will involve a degree (often a considerable degree) of stress and given your histoy of mental health issues, you'll need to think carefully how far you want to go with this.

daytona0

Well, the ultimate question is; what's your life ambition?

- Careery?

- Job elsewhere?

- Education?

I say that because, if you are a careery, it needs to be sorted out and probably by you directly. But if you aren't actually planning on staying long term then you have to get thicker skin! Sod them! Let them play their game, your only reason for being there is to collect the gold to support your family/life! They've got sad little lives to be playing such games I tell ya!

It is almost pot luck who you will end up in work and, yes, a bad colleague can ruin the whole experience. But you need to keep focus on what matters more in life. If you need to move department then so be it! If you have to just put up with the annoyances then so be it!

I personally wouldn't complain to management because that would be a huge headache for them to deal with, ESPECIALLY if the battleaxes have been there for 2+ years! What do they do? Sack them on your word? Fight your battle for you? Move them to ANOTHER department (who would take them if it is a repeat offense?)? If you're a bit of a pushover, you will be the first person on their list to shift to another department by the way!

You could, however, have an off-the-record chat with someone senior (maybe even a colleague you trust) to see how they deal with said battleaxes and offer any tips on how to handle it.

I would also recommend some self reflection, as you did mention that you were unable to complete some tasks; did you communicate this effectively to your colleagues? Could you actually have done it (nobody likes a shirker)? Also, you mentioned being called lazy; whilst you don't have to do overtime (good on you for going!), it wouldn't go amiss to get stuck in and give your colleagues help and support from time to time! Just don't get caught doing nothing, that's the key! They must have some kind of point to justify all the pictures and the fact that they called you lazy.

Also, maybe you could BE KIND to them! I tell ya, but if you are competent and kind to people then they look right prats if they carry on. You could even bring in a bag of £1 sweets twice a week, they might be made up and warm to you a bit!

Final point;

Health > Money.

HiToAll

come on, grow some, stand up to the old dears.

missbiggles1

Is your opting out of working on Sundays part of the reason they don't like you?

TBagpuss

tom222 wrote: »

I know for a fact that two of them will back me up. Third might want to stay out of it which is fair enough. All I really want is for him to have a word and make them aware of what they are doing. For some reason they seem to feel like they own the department. My manager has noticed in the past how down I've been about work and has said ages ago he will have a chat if he wants me to, which I stupidly objected to, so I'm sure he will do that. But I want them dealt with in a more sever way really, I know not to expect too much though ha

You may need to make the formal complaint and state that you want it to be addressed formally. An employer has to have fair processes, which means that if an allegation is made against someone, normally they are entitled to know what the allegation is so that they can respond / defend themselves / put their side of the story.

I don't know what has happened in your workplace, but as an employer, I have been in a situation where we were not able to take effective action because the 'victim' was not prepared to make a formal complaint or to agree to us speaking, even informally, to the 'bully'. Had we simply gone ahead and disciplined the 'bully' we could have laid ourselves open to them claiming they were being bullied or victimised, or treating them unfairly.

If your colleagues are willing to support you then your employers investigation can include speaking to them - evidence includes what people say they have witnessed or experienced.

Even if it simply your word against theirs, then that still allows the employer to follow a fair process and decide what action to take.

If your manager was willing to speak to these women before, there's no reason or you to think they won't be willing to do so now, and this may be step one of the disciplinary process - if they warn her about her behaviour and she doesn't stop, you may need to then report *that*, and allow them to escalate.

good luck.

Also, see your GP, document what is happening and keep your employer in the loop.