Taking that final step to DMP

wintersunshine22

I need help or advice as I am finding it extremely hard to take the final step to setting a DMP up with SC We are carrying a significant amount of debt which we were coping with until DH lost his job in October, since then he has only managed to find 3.5 days temporary work and although I have managed to pay all the debts to date I know that this is the final time as all our savings have gone and my wages only covers the essentials. The budget with SC has shown that we have £11 left for the debts at the moment but as DH is looking for work and I should get a pay increase in January then a token plan is advised. I know we have to do this but it is so scary as I feel we are saying goodbye to our future .... at 53 years old and living in rented accommodation we had this pipedream of owning a home by the time we retire at 67. I am so tired of coping on my own as DH refuses to discuss it....he always responds by (a) I will let you make the decision (b) well...that our life finished .... no future now. How do I make the right/final decision????
Thanks for reading.

MrsTinks

If his response is B then I think you need to consider that he might be suffering from depression? If you think he is then you might want to talk to him about seeing the doctor. There is no shame in being depressed, but it needs to be dealt with and it would be unfair on you for him to just refuse to deal with it or anything else like the debts.

Is it the end of your house owning dream? Well no... if you can manage to get on top of these debts over the next few years and start piling money into savings for a large deposit then it's not impossible. But remember that owning a home isn't necessary, it's a nice and a goal certainly - but I know plenty of people who do not own their own home. Please stop seeing it as "well we've failed if we never own a home". This is no different to any other "keeping up with the Jones'" issues these days. So if you think it's causing you too much stress trying to get there then have a rethink about if it's something you want just because you've always heard that's what you ought to have...

The financial decision is it would appear no longer yours to make. You are out of savings, that means short of your OH getting a job right now you WILL default on your debt repayments. A DMP is merely an organised solution to this situation. The defaults will happen automatically regardless.

So don't stress over having to make a decision - other than reviewing your SOA on here and letting us check and see if an IVA, DRO or bankruptcy may actually be better for you in the long run

sourcrates

Hi,

Get a debt relief order, it sounds like you may qualify.

Are your debts less than 20k ?

If so, I'd certainly look into it.

All over in 12 months, no payments required, credit file affected for 6 years.
Easiest and quickest solution for you.

Info here :

https://m.stepchange.org/how-we-can-help-you/debt-solutions/debt-relief-order

The_Debt_Expert

There's not enough information on the OP to state a DRO may be the best option - there's no confirmation of debt levels for example.

If a DRO was a viable option, SC would have discussed it with the OP.

Wintersunshine - I totally understand this is a difficult situation for you and that you'd love to own a home. Whether doing a debt solution makes any difference to those chances depends on your situation, as in how likely it would be now even if you could manage the debts ok.

The key point is that you can't afford to keep paying the debts, so ultimately there's little option but to go down the route of a debt solution.

fatbelly

OP - please post a statement of affairs for us to have a look at

There's a calculator here

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

DrWatson1

MrsTinks wrote: »

If his response is B then I think you need to consider that he might be suffering from depression? If you think he is then you might want to talk to him about seeing the doctor. There is no shame in being depressed, but it needs to be dealt with and it would be unfair on you for him to just refuse to deal with it or anything else like the debts.

You should be very careful about jumping to conclusions about mental illness based on limited 3rd party evidence. This is the DSM for depression. Financial difficulties are a potential cause of depression, but in reality it's much more complex.

http://images.pearsonclinical.com/images/assets/basc-3/basc3resources/DSM5_DiagnosticCriteria_MajorDepressiveDisorder.pdf

MrsTinks

Thank you I'm quite familiar with depression which is why you will note the careful wording in my post: need to consider that he might be with a question mark at the end. Also if the OP thinks he is then discussing with him that he should seek professional help ie a doctor. I'm well aware that mental health is extremely complex - hence why my solution wasn't a link to an online diagnostics page but to suggest professional support.

DrWatson1

Many people suffer with low mood or depression at some point in their lives, so it's something many people are familiar with.

The "online diagnostics page" was the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (version 5), which is the used by clinicians, researchers and healthcare professionals for the classification of mental disorders.

If OP or anyone else is considering whether either themselves or significant others are suffering from depression, that's as good a place as any to start.