How to heal from sexual abuse?

AshleyBurf

Hi everyone,

Does anyone have stories of healing from sexual abuse? What did you do? What kind of therapy? Bodywork? Talking?

How did you get your partner to understand in the process?

My partner has just opened up about it and I'd love to give her the best support possible.

Thank you

Primrose

Just listen sympathetically.


Ask her what things she does or what are the specific behaviours she thinks she has as a result of being abused, ie reacting to certain people in a specific way if they behave towards her in a way which makes her feel nervous or uncomfortable?


What are the specific behaviours of other people which make her feel comfortable and safe?


How often does she feel unsafe or do these feelings come flooding back?


How does she feel about the person/people who abused her? What would she need to happen to help her change her feelings, if ever?


Was the abuse the type that could be prosecuted? If so, is that a route she would be prepared to take if this would bring her closure? This is a difficult one because it may bring everything back in a very vivid way would possibly in the short term do more harm than good.


In short, just let her talk and let her know you are there for her.. These kinds of circumstances take a very long time to heal because they become inbedded in a person's psyche. Has she considered talking to her GP to be referred for counselling if she thinks this might help her. I don't know how readily she finds herself able to talk about it. Opening up to a neutral person may help her. She is fortunate that you want to support her and I'm sure this, over time, will make a huge difference to the way she copes with it.

ani*fan

Hi there AshleyBurf

I sympathise entirely with your situation and hope very much that your partner is able to make a full recovery.

There are, however, much better places online to have a discussion like this. A quick google search will point you in the direction of sites such as https://www.aftersilence.org where you can chat to others in the same position as yourself.

I would encourage you not to reply to any questions following your initial post. This is not a forum for abuse survivors or their families and you will leave yourself vulnerable to unhelpful comments from members on here who do not all have a sympathetic point of view. I know not all discussion on here is about money saving, but sexual abuse is a serious and sensitive issue that is better addressed, online and elsewhere, by people who understand the issues.

I wish you the very best of luck in finding the help you are seeking.

Primrose

Just to clarify. The questions I posed in my previous thread were questions you might at some point want to ask you partner if and when she is ready to open up more. They weren'5 meant to be answers you would share with the rest of us.

As Ani*fan has pointed out, this is a.very sensitive area and your partner weds to have her privacy respected. It can be very difficult for partners and friends to know where to go for the right type of support and guidance in such cases but charities like the NSPCC and others may be able to point you in the right direction.

I think just knowing you are there for her will give your partner some of the support she needs to start coming to terms with all this.

AshleyBurf

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts.

AshleyBurf

Thank you so much for your kind words

Jenniefour

ani*fan wrote: »

Hi there AshleyBurf

I sympathise entirely with your situation and hope very much that your partner is able to make a full recovery.

There are, however, much better places online to have a discussion like this. A quick google search will point you in the direction of sites such as https://www.aftersilence.org where you can chat to others in the same position as yourself.

I would encourage you not to reply to any questions following your initial post. This is not a forum for abuse survivors or their families and you will leave yourself vulnerable to unhelpful comments from members on here who do not all have a sympathetic point of view. I know not all discussion on here is about money saving, but sexual abuse is a serious and sensitive issue that is better addressed, online and elsewhere, by people who understand the issues.

I wish you the very best of luck in finding the help you are seeking.

Spot on, knowledgeable and well informed support needed. Best wishes, OP.

Sicard

Some therapies don't necessarily suit everyone. But talking is one of the best ways to help resolve these past issues. It is best done with someone neutral, that is someone who is not emotionally involved like a partner.

I was abused by some nasty people as a kid and in later life I started off with counselling, then psychotherapy and then took the tough one - psychoanalysis. This was so effective I trained and became a therapist myself.

But as I said this doesn't suit everyone, but counselling is certainly a gently way of allowing the person to bring the negative material to the surface. It's a good way of releasing the pent-up emotion of all those years ago.

AshleyBurf

Thank you Sicard.

There has been so much come out in the last few days and couple of weeks in the UK about the footballers who have been sexually abused. Apparently some statistics say 1 in 3 have been, it's a really big problem in society but at least it is getting talked about now so hopefully we can find some solutions.

comeandgo

I would agree that the percentage of abused children is very high, and i think the majority of the abuse is by family and friends which is why it is not reported. Both myself and my husband were abused by people known to our parents.

AshleyBurf

So sorry to hear that. How are you doing now?