Stepson's girlfriend

LottieLou

You have done the best you can do for now. Follow up on the text if you don't hear from him, I am sure that is your plan anyway. There is no excuse for the behaviour you whitnessed. But I do have to admit, I can relate to some aspects of the situation. They obviously had a falling out before arriving (no excuse for the physical punch/kicks- this is not the prt I can relate to) but I have given my OH a lot of f's after he forced me to endure a family situation on an unresolved argument in the past.

Remind him you are there for him, should he wish to one day confide in you.

missbiggles1

Do they live together?

Knightsuntold

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

I doubt he was at all accepting. He could surely have physcially stopped it, but to do so he would have had to use force to compel a woman to a course of action. Do you know how impossible that would be for most men? I know it would near impossible for me, I was raised to never hit or use force against women.

He appeared to be accepting, and maybe he is. I think the punch took him completely by surprise. Yes, it would be very difficult for him - he's been brought up to show respect across the board, and he does.

Knightsuntold

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

Does he have an 'out', an escape, is he independent? Or is he trapped

He's independent, to a degree, but he doesn't have a huge amount of spare cash - every penny is accounted for, but no debt situation. He does have escape routes too. His mum is a bit flaky, but his dad would take him in, like a shot, as I would my partner and I.

Knightsuntold

Proxima_Centauri wrote: »

Sadly, people often stay with, and even defend, their abusive other-halfs

This is what I'm worried about.

Knightsuntold

LottieLou wrote: »

You have done the best you can do for now. Follow up on the text if you don't hear from him, I am sure that is your plan anyway. There is no excuse for the behaviour you whitnessed. But I do have to admit, I can relate to some aspects of the situation. They obviously had a falling out before arriving (no excuse for the physical punch/kicks- this is not the prt I can relate to) but I have given my OH a lot of f's after he forced me to endure a family situation on an unresolved argument in the past.

Remind him you are there for him, should he wish to one day confide in you.

Yes, I'll text him again in a couple of days, when he's in work.

I've done the row, best face on for a social occasion, and then row again thing too, but at least I've waited until we got home to have my say. And I've never punched, kicked or slapped them. This is another worry - I know his mum used to do this to his dad, and his dad just took it - I'm hoping that he doesn't think, deep down somewhere, that this is normal.

Knightsuntold

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Do they live together?

He has his own place, and she lives with her mum, but she stays over a lot.

theoretica

Knightsuntold wrote: »

My stepson is 24, a big lad, well over 6' and plays rugby. She is a little tiny, dot of a thing, petite and very pretty. He could squish her with one hand, but he didn't seem to say or do anything. He just took it.

Depending on the state of the broken shoulder, it sounds to me like he could well have been more hurt by the words than her violence.

Knightsuntold

theoretica wrote: »

Depending on the state of the broken shoulder, it sounds to me like he could well have been more hurt by the words than her violence.

I think it was both, and she moved so she could go for that shoulder. He was sat down and she punched downwards - it was a short jab with some force behind it. I was sat directly opposite him, and I saw the pain in his face, but he covered it so quickly. Afterwards, I saw him moving the shoulder, and I could tell it was hurting him.

Blackpool_Saver

Knightsuntold wrote: »

He's independent, to a degree, but he doesn't have a huge amount of spare cash - every penny is accounted for, but no debt situation. He does have escape routes too. His mum is a bit flaky, but his dad would take him in, like a shot, as I would my partner and I.

Make sure he knows that, tell him often