headphones, smartphones, tablets and parenting

Mr.Generous

I've just seen an advert for wireless headphones and all the activities you can do without having to stop listening to your music. Yeah some bangin' tunes goin' down man.

One of them was playing with his baby.

It reminded me of how many times we see mum's pushing prams totally focussed on smart phone screen. Quite often too mums pushing prams with headphones on. I am increasingly convinced that we are going to get a whole generation and a half of kids who suffer because of this.

parents should interact with kids. Talk about stuff, say look at that, ask what they think it is, explain stuff. And just pay attention to and talk to kids.

I know several teachers in the primary sector. Some kids come into the school system with absolutely no language skills. You think I'm exaggerating, they cannot say a word, they point to things and make a errr noise and cry for them if they want them. At home they are given stuff to shut them up and stuck in front of a screen whenever possible.

I must have twin DVD screens in the back of the car because the kids just won't behave on trips to - well anywhere.

Oh he's crying I think. (Removes an ear plug) Yes. Give him your phone to play on.

In restaurants kids sit and watch a DVD at the table.

On holiday recently we saw a family of four sit down, whip out 4 Ipads, plug headphones in and all do their thing online. The kids were pre teen, two boys maybe 10 and 7. One watched a DVD the other was gaming. One parent was texting on phone and playing on Ipad. I noticed because there was a wait for tables, we had just finished our food and gave up our table to them and sat at the bar to finish our drinks. I was appalled to be honest.

Are we going to loose a load of face to face communication skills going forward? Are we bringing up a new generation of smart phone addicted kids with no concentration or patience and limited life skills?

Is it ok for a mum to be texting while listening to music while out with her kids?

Now this is what you call a rant.

Cheeseface

No we are not losing face to face communication. My children are quite capable of speaking to anyone.

Is it ok for people to make sweeping generalisations about a whole generation of young people?

No, it isn't.

freyasmum

Mr.Generous wrote: »

In restaurants kids sit and watch a DVD at the table.

Whilst I agree that you can't generalise an entire generation based on the actions of a few, there are certainly plenty of people I have seen like this. And it does sadden me.

And, the quote that I have included above absolutely boils my blood. I'd never seen it done before until I went to a brewers fayre-type place with my friends and we sat across from a family of three. They put whichever soap they were watching on and didn't take their eyes off it, even when they were eating. There was no talking, or even just smiling and asking if the food was ok. They just sat and stared at the screen for the entire time they were there.

Surely, the point of going out for a meal is to be able to enjoy it? You can't, in my mind, do that if you're too busy concentrating on a screen :undecided

Hedgehog99

Children's language development included lip-reading as part of learning how to form different sounds. Trouble is, we now have a lot of people who struggle with the l-sound in words like "world" & they say werrrwwwd instead. It's not an accent thing, it's an error that's being copied, same as "off of" instead of "from" & "should of" instead of "should have".

More cartoons and puppets in kids' programmes means less and less opportunity to lip read. Parents glued to phones when out with their toddlers aren't helping either.

Almost everything is apparently too boring for most people to the extent that they're constantly on their phones to relieve the boredom. Time & a place 'n' all that.

Kynthia

People should be less judgmental. If a parent is at home all day every day with her children then I'm sure she is interacting loads with them and sometimes looking at her phone doesn't mean she ignores them all the time. Plus parents resort to giving their young child a phone when in a restaurant because they don't want to disturb others who'll then start tutting, glaring and thinking people shouldn't bring young children to where they are eating. I bet people in the past would have done the same thing had it been an option as most parents are very self-conscious of their child disturbing others when out.

Proxima_Centauri

I just roll my eyes when I see mums pushing a pram/buggy with the obligatory cellphone glued to their ear. It's insecurity, I think. They want the world to think they've got lots of friends to talk to, non-stop :rotfl:

But on a serious note, yes I would like to see studies (if any have yet been undertaken?) showing the effect of prolonged screen-use, particularly in developing brains. I think it has been shown to lessen concentration skills in older kids.

barbarawright

When you're a kid there's very little more boring than adult conversation about people and events you just aren't interested it (and often children aren't encouraged to join in adult talk anyway). I used to read at family meals when I was allowed

Caroline_a

When my children were little I used to take quiet activities for them to do while waiting for their meals. This could be reading, colouring, puzzle books etc. They also knew that if they didn't behave they wouldn't be taken again! The ones that run around shouting with not a word from their parents while I'm trying to enjoy a meal out are the ones that drive me mad. I tend now to avoid restaurants that encourage families like this!

However I'm sure that this screen time and lack of communication will be affecting those children whose parents think that its ok. Time will tell I guess...

FBaby

It's all about the right balance and your post just look at the absolute worse picture. Firstly, kids get free childcare from the age of 3, and it is quite obvious that any parents who want little to do with their kids will make full use of it, so they should get at least one year of proper communication before they start school. I would think if a kid is totally unable to say more than two words together, there is more to it than his parents putting headphones on.

As for your other examples, you have no idea what they were up to before you saw them. Maybe before they sat down next to your table, they had just been on a long walk around town, talking and discussing local architecture. Probably not, but my kids were raised enjoying both times when we did a lot of talking face to face and time when we were both enjoying being on our phones/tablets. They are both very high achievers at school, so clearly haven't been traumatised.

Yes, there are some families where communication is almost non-existent, but I think the vast majority just enjoy both old fashion discussions as well as modernised ways of sharing information.

sillygoose

On a similar sort of line, my pet hate is parents interacting with young children wearing sunglasses, children need to see faces including eyes to be able to 'read' emotions properly. I am not saying it stunts their development as obviously its only at certain times, but the child will be less anxious if they are getting proper feedback from the most important reference in their lives and not talking to someone hidden behind a one way mirror on their face.

Mr.Generous

I wonder if families with pets have better interaction, animals pretty good at ignoring screens.

From what I see while out and about renovating property the more deprived the area the more tech obsessed the parents. I know it's always just a snapshot view, but a couple more examples.

A young dad out jogging in sports gear accompanied by his young son on a bicycle, headphones on, Dad in front.

Walking to school mum, 1 under 8, 1 in pushchair. Walking the dog, on smartphone. Kid so far ahead that when she sees her friend and mum she crosses the road to get to them. Mum doesn't notice for about a minute.

I do wonder if all these devices had been about years ago if we'd have done the same. I suspect we would I'm afraid. I remember spending far too long playing space invaders, pac man etc, no internet luckily.