How to deal with cliquey workplace

aua122

Hi all

I have name changed for this, I hope that's ok. Hopefully this isn't too long.

I've recently started a new temp job (in the public sector if that makes any difference). I knew when I started that as I was the "new face" I would have to make considerable effort to fit in and get to know people. I'm not particularly shy or have any problems talking to new people but it feels like an uphill struggle. Some of the things I've been doing along the lines of getting to know my colleagues include initiating conversations with my colleagues without waiting to be spoken to and joining in with group conversations.
Having been doing this for a few weeks now I've started to notice that if I don't start the conversations then I never get spoken to and when I say something in a group conversation a person will reply but they will look at someone else when replying and avoid eye contact with me. I am also noticing that I am being excluded from group activities such as lunch or emails where I hadn't been included on the distribution list and always seem to be the last to find out about anything.

I am only here until June next year so it's not forever but I am starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable being the odd one out and I'm not sure I want to spend the next 6 months as being the odd boy in the corner that nobody ever talks to.

I would really like to try and deal with it by saying in a jokey way that I should be getting included in conversations and treated as one of the team but I am unsure of the exact way to go about doing this, and afraid that I would come across as too confrontational. I also don't to come across as a moaner and can live with it for the time if there is no way to break through the ice.

I'd really like to hear if anyone has been in a similar situation and if or how you dealt with it.

xapprenticex

your face probably doesnt fit or you just seen as the temp. imo dont try, if it happens it happens, just do your work.

i have new people pass through my team at times, most we are fine with, others we are not, as i said, if the face doesn't fit or you feel a bit off with them then you wont make the extra effort.

not sure what else to say, you've been there a short time, work hard, show you are capable and maybe with time they will warm to you.

cardiffgrad1

Difficult, there's no easy solution to this one.

Perhaps you could pick one member of the clique.. speak to them one on one and get to know them better..then they can be your way into the clique.

PasturesNew

Most people don't want to get involved with a temp - they're a temp.

Just get your head down, do the work, be approachable and see if they come to you and start including you. If not, you're only a temp so you'll be out of there before too long.

I started temping aged about 15 in the school holidays and have done hundreds of different temp jobs from age 15 to 50+. I'm not there to be their friend. I'm there to help with the workload and be pleasant, but productive.

Just potter along in your own world, with a quiet smile on your face. Give help where it's required, keep your nose down where it's not.

If you find your contract is extended, you'll find they start to treat you differently as they see you as a bit more than "just a temp" as you've "passed muster" so to speak.

McKneff

Pastures New states exactly what I would say .
Read it again and again. Read it 3 times a day every day.

That's it

Nicki

This sounds a bit more than face not fitting. Not being invited to lunch is one thing, but being left off distribution list for work emails and people not making eye contact when answering questions is weird and I'm not surprised you feel uncomfortable. To be honest it sounds like you work with a group of teenage girls!

I'd ask to be added to the distribution list for emails, and if this does not happen then I'd take that to your line manager. Whilst the manager can't force them to socialise with you, they can and should force them to behave professionally and politely to you during work hours. Keep being polite and friendly to them, but if they choose to behave like childish bullies, there isn't much you can do about that other than to find others in the organisation you work for to have lunch and coffee with, and just ignore them.

There have been a few threads on these boards about workplace exclusion so it's probably worth having a search. There was one I remember on the relationships board, begun by the person who was trying to exclude a colleague from lunches which gives the perspective from the other side I guess, and there have been a few on this board too.

SailorSam

It doesn't seem that important a problem to talk about if you're a regular poster. Why did you feel the need to create a new identity ?

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

Nicki wrote: »

I'd ask to be added to the distribution list for emails, and if this does not happen then I'd take that to your line manager.

Assuming, as I assumed, that the email list is for things like having lunch and social events, don't do this. Really, really, really don't do this. Only if it prevents you from doing the work that you are paid to do should you possibly consider this.

I can only agree with what other people say. Maybe it is more than that you're a temp - maybe they don't like you. Who cares? I've worked with a lot of people I don't like. You are there to do a job, not to meet new friends.

[Deleted User]

Hi,

ah well, you won't need to get a secret santa, nor endure the Christmas night out, which, methinks, could end up trouble once the drinks start to kick in.

Nicki

ScorpiondeRooftrouser wrote: »

Assuming, as I assumed, that the email list is for things like having lunch and social events, don't do this. Really, really, really don't do this. Only if it prevents you from doing the work that you are paid to do should you possibly consider this.

I can only agree with what other people say. Maybe it is more than that you're a temp - maybe they don't like you. Who cares? I've worked with a lot of people I don't like. You are there to do a job, not to meet new friends.

I assumed the OP meant the distribution list for work related emails as they had this as a different problem to being excluded from lunch and social events. I agree (and said) not to involve the LM in the social side of this.

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

Nicki wrote: »

I assumed the OP meant the distribution list for work related emails as they had this as a different problem to being excluded from lunch and social events. I agree (and said) not to involve the LM in the social side of this.

I woudn't refer to work emails as a "group activity" but you may be right.