Another age gap relationship.

QueenOfSerene

Reading about Han's 16 year age gap in the weekly email made me decide to speak about my relationship. Our age gap is only 10 years though. I was single for 6 years after divorcing my cheating rat of an ex husband. He lived a double life, and the times when he was away working. He was with another woman who he had a son with. She knew about my existance, but I didn't know about her. They both pretty much ruined my life when they exposed their affair. Looking back at it, if the affair was a quick fling then I would have coped better. Knowing it lasted years was a bitter pill to swallow.

I won't ramble on about how they continued to hurt me afterwards because this will go on forever. Fast forward 6 years, I started a new job after being off work for a long time with depression. The new job required all new recruits to take part in a 3 day training program. On the first morning of the training day, I was a bag of nerves. I sat in my car pondering whether or not to just go home, but thankfully I held my nerve and went into the building. Upon entering the training room, an anxiety attack nearly hit me because the room was full of people all chatting away. I quietly sat at a seat in the corner trying to compose myself.

A couple of minutes later a younger lad came and sat next to me. He said hi to me and i started talking to him telling him how I was worried about this. He told me not to worry and throughout the whole training except for group exercises, I was paired with him which was a relief. We got on like a house on fire and I do believe if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have made it through. We were both working in the same department as well which helped me even more. Months and months passed with us getting to know each other even more and at the staff Christmas do whether it was a few too many glasses of wine, or hidden feelings I had for him I don't know but we ended up spending the night together.

We've been in a relationship since then. It will be 12 months on the 20th of December since we started seeing each other. Although he is 10 years younger than me the relationship has been amazing. He has given me a new lease of life and when my ex husband discovered I was in a relationship with someone younger he started sending me messages laughing at me. If I was still weak from the time when they both hurt me I would have crumbled. However, I replied to his message by saying my boyfriend is 100 times better than you and that fat slug you are sleeping with ha ha. He even started saying he wanted me back but i blocked him. His opinion is no longer important to my life and I hope he has the most miserable life with Jabba the hut.

Where age is concerned. I don't think it is important. If you find someone who makes you happy then be with that person and don't worry about what other people think. You can't put a price on happiness and you only live once so make the most of it.

ognum

Interesting thoughts, I agree age gap is not an issue if you are happy. However, I do think you are only lowering yourself with you discriptions of your ex husbands partner. It should not be her you are angry with.

Maintain your dignity and don't lower yourself to his level.

LKRDN_Morgan

I've got a bottle of red wine I've had longer than your relationship.

I hope you get to be as happy we are :beer:

swingaloo

My husband is 11 years younger than me and I met him after a very long unhappy marriage, we have been together now for 16 years so it can work.

From reading your post though I do get a couple of thoughts-

Firstly you refer to him as 'this young lad' rather than man.
Secondly I wonder if there is not a bit of showing the ex that you can 'pull' a younger man.

Be with him for the right reasons and it can work.

Gloomendoom

swingaloo wrote: »

My husband is 11 years younger than me and I met him after a very long unhappy marriage, we have been together now for 16 years so it can work.

Be with him for the right reasons and it can work.

I met my ex-wife (16 years older) in 1986. We got our decree absolute in 2005. It can all go pear shaped, even with the best of intentions.

peter12345678910

I have never really thought about my age difference with my wife, maybe 21 or 22 years, just did some quick maths. Though I am too realistic to be that idealistic, but I do get it. Similar age would mean similar experiences culture wise - maybe but the culture thrown at men and women are planets apart, perhaps more further apart than mars and venus. Yep, I really do get it, you die about the same time etc but I am not so idealistic about marriage.

Though this is only the second time I have thought about it and my second post on this subject, though next year it would be 10 years of marriage.

BucksLady

I'm so pleased to hear you've found happiness

fuzzyduck22

Do what makes you happy...but why are you still messaging your ex after all this time? Delete his number.block him on social media etc, you don't need that. In time you wont give a rats !!! what he thinks about your new relationship xx

Hope all goes well

System

I'm glad it worked out for you. Personally I'd worry he'd find someone he'd rather be with who is more his own age.