Advice Please!

capitalone

Hi MSE community

I have an odd one for you - hopefully someone can help.

My dear little brother turns 40 next year. Unfortunately he is having a bad time financially and is subject to some kind of citizens advice repayment plan on his debt. He is not bankrupt and I do not believe he is subject to an IVA.

I am very lucky and have a good job etc and I am looking to his present next year. 40 is a big deal and we are as close as you can get really. I want to give him 3k for his birthday because he would love to go back to the carribean for a holiday like we did on my 40th (but he can go with his gf and doesnt have to take us!). However he might decide to be sensible and spend some of the money on something sensible and then a holiday - I want it to be up to him.

How best to "format" the gift? 3k in cash feels wrong and not sure you can buy a holiday like that, plus I dont know if he banked it (or if i put it into his account) it could just get swallowed up. I dont know that much about his finances. I would just get him a Virgin etc holiday voucher but also want him to have the choice to spend it as he sees fit, so maybe some on a simpler holiday and a second hand car or something.

So, I looked at pre paid cards - is the MSE view in this situation this might be the way to go? Looking for confirmation because I dont want anything to do with it, but want to give him the money "hands free". The simple alternative is just to tell him he has a virtual 3k and i will foot the bill when he calls and asks, but that too feels a bit too strings attached.

Help!

Many thanks in advance

Nebulous2

An interesting one. Families and money often causes quite a discussion.

I'd go cash. I don't often have my hands on large sums of cash, but when I do, selling a car privately for instance, I'm always slightly mesmerised by bundles of £50 notes. It allows perfect freedom for him to do as he wants with it.

Of course he might do what could well be a sensible thing and put it all / most of it towards the debt. The problem then is one of expectation. The donor is keen on seeing what present the person bought or evidence the recipient has had some 'enjoyment' from it.

The other possibility is to ask him. "Being 40 is a big event. I'd like to mark it with a bigger than usual present. I thought about paying for you to go back to the Caribbean, but you may prefer something else. Do you want to think about it and get back to me?"

When he gets back if he's finding the decision difficult that allows you to suggest it isn't all or nothing, he can split it car / holiday if he wants, and you can ask how he would like it paid.

That ruins any surprise, but let's him know a rough scale of the gift and let's him think about it to get most 'bang for his buck.'

A lot of people on here on the debt free wannabe board recommend people in financial difficulties set up a separate bank account to control payments in / out. If he has done that then bank transfer may well be fine. If he hasn't his bank may swallow up a payment to cover his debt.

Ben8282

Instead of squandering the money on a holiday pay off his debts for him instead.

Fireflyaway

If you want him to have a nice holiday then book it so you know thats what the money will be used on. Could you ask his girlfriend to secretly help you find out about suitable dates etc? If I were lucky enough to have such a gift I'd appreciate a holiday more than cash. Its more thoughtful and the memories will last forever.