Christmas Card Dilemma - Recently Passed Away

Anoneemoose

Hi all,

I know this may sound a strange one but I am struggling what to do for my Uncle's christmas card. My Aunty passed away 2 weeks ago and they were literally hardly ever apart. He is lost without her and all he keeps saying is "don't forget her, will you?" And "please don't forget your Aunty xxx".

I am just writing my Christmas cards and theirs was always the first I wrote. I am just so devastated. I obviously don't want to not send a card at all, but it also seems so wrong to just put my Uncle's name on it. Even though she's not here, I feel she should still be acknowledged. I am not religious, but they are (although not overly so), so I don't know if that would help with suggestions.

Can anyone offer any advice, please? Thank you in advance for any help you can give.

Anon.x

PasturesNew

I think, just this year, you should write it as if she's still around.

It's a harsh slap in the face when you open cards addressed just to one person. Even I was struck by it when opening cards to my mum in her first year of bereavement.

onlyroz

It sounds a bit weird to address a card to somebody you know is dead. What about: "Merry Christmas Uncle Bill, I know the first Christmas after a loss can be hard but remember that we're all here for you."

thorsoak

onlyroz wrote: »

It sounds a bit weird to address a card to somebody you know is dead. What about: "Merry Christmas Uncle Bill, I know the first Christmas after a loss can be hard but remember that we're all here for you."

Or even "remembering happier Christmases with Aunty Flo and you, Uncle Bill - and thinking of you particularly at this time of year x"

AylesburyDuck

Wether it feels wrong or not unfortunately it is just your uncle this year,
Maybe to counterbalance this a personal touch inside could be Aunty X will be watching over us all this Christmas?
So sorry for your loss.

bugslet

I lost Mr Bugs not long before Xmas and everyone knew for a few weeks before that it could happen any time, so it must have been a real dilemma. Of those that gave a card afterwards, it was much as has been suggested, Dear Bugs, thinking of you this Xmas and am sure Mr Bugs is looking down on you/ and will be raising a glass to Mr Bugs over the holidays.

It would have seemed odd to have a card addressed to him, but it was nice to have some kind words and memories written inside.

Primrose

How about addressing the card to him, but inside writing like something "It seems so strange knowing that Auntie XX is no longer around and not to be addressing the card to you both, but I think of her constantly as I know you do, so she will still be in our hearts and thoughts this Christmas."

greyfox

Try to find a card which doesn't say "Happy" or "Merry" Christmas as, to be honest, your Uncle is unlikely to be either.

Pollycat

I wouldn't address a card to someone I knew had died.

However, I think it would be a lovely idea to acknowledge your Aunt when writing the card to your Uncle.

I think you've had some good suggestions for wording - in fact I might use one of them myself in my card to my Auntie as my Uncle died earlier this year.

Greyfox has a good suggstion about the type of card, I'll be very careful to choose an appropriate card for my Auntie.

Person_one

greyfox wrote: »

Try to find a card which doesn't say "Happy" or "Merry" Christmas as, to be honest, your Uncle is unlikely to be either.

There are some really nice cards that have something like 'Thinking of you this Christmas' or 'With love at Christmas' for just this sort of situation.

ripplyuk

I think thorsoak's suggestion is perfect.

This thread has also helped me as my grandad died recently and it's the first Christmas for my granny without him.

OP, I'd just add to perhaps be cautious with a religious type of message e.g., aunty is looking down on us. My granny is religious but I know she would certainly not appreciate me saying something like that. She would know I was being disingenuous and find that hurtful.
Of course, you're best placed to judge if your uncle would find it comforting or not.

The other difficulty is the envelope. It seems harsh to only put the one name on it. I think I'll just avoid names altogether and have the address on its own.