Selling with an ex & kids

JudgeNutmeg77

Hi, I'm looking for a bit of advice

Alderbank

Are you divorced? and how old are your children?

G_M

You seperated 10 years ago. Then 'a few years ago' (so some 7 years after seperating) you bought a house in your name for your ex to live in.

Have I understood correctly so far? One of us is crazy.

We see posts like this from time to time and I never inderstand why people don't sort out their finances when they seperate.

But then I'm crazy.

JudgeNutmeg77

Yes I probably am a bit crazy to have not sorted this out years ago! :-)

Ok, a bit more than a 'few' years ago. The house was bought in 2002 when we were still together and before our first child was born

[Deleted User]

You do realise we aren't legal experts?

I really do suggest you go to see a solicitor. With lots of paperwork explaining any financial arrangements you and your ex agreed. Sorting out finances during a divorce is complicated, this could be even more so. But as you weren't married, its likely your ex won't do as well as she would have if you were.

Does she pay rent or something towards the housing costs? You almost certainly will be able to sell as you weren't married, but you haven't given much information and you may find that you are then liable to pay child maintenance. How significant this would be, we can't say.

And of course, then your children will probably have to change schools and go into either social housing or the private rental sector with all the hell that implies. Are you prepared for the outcome? I'm not saying you don't have a right to do this, but it will likely change your children's lives and is unlikely to be a beneficial change. But perhaps you want to move on and buy another place?

Could you and your ex work out an arrangement where she pays rent if she doesn't already (although this will make you a LL with a few legal obligations you may not want to take on). Its not ideal whatever you do. Perhaps you could agree to sell the place but give her enough money from the profits to set up with a private rental and some money for child maintenance as a sweeter?

If your ex can prove she contributed to mortgage payments even if her name isn't on the mortgage, the situation will become more complicated.

G_M

So you bought the house before you seperated?

[Deleted User]

And had another child from the looks of it, the children and 10 and 14. The 14 year old wasn't born when the house was purchased. So they spent some time in the house as a couple I would assume.

If she worked, I suspect also that it would be seen that she contributed to the household costs. She may not have, we don't know from information given lol.

The OP also needs to take into account legal costs that sorting this out could incur. Making a private arrangement with his ex could be better, but depends on their relationship. If its acrimonious, it might not be possible to make a private arrangment.

[Deleted User]

Not good news, I think you will have to seek legal advice at least at the start, but obviously this will cost. If the relationship is so acrimonious and this situation is stopping you moving on with your life emotionally and financially, there is little choice.

I think you do need to look at the finances, look at what price the house will sell for, and do a calculation as to profits. Don't just hand away money over fist, as it sounds like you'd need a water tight agreement to avoid paying child maintenance anyway <turns out there is no such thing> (and you'd have to have some method of ensuring house profits are used to clear the debts). So you could sell the house, let her keep the profits and still end up paying child maintenance.

Get legal advice so you understand what your options are.

I'm sure you've already found this but just in case https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/children-and-young-people/child-maintenance/child-maintenance-where-to-start/

and

http://www.cmoptions.org/

<Later> However from what I can see on the CA site, even if you make a separation agreement, your ex can still go to CM, even if the seperation agreement is agreed through the courts. So yes, you are in a difficult situation.

marksoton

JudgeNutmeg77 wrote: »

Ok some more information...

The house was bought just before our first child was born. We seperated just after our second was born, 10 years ago. After I moved out I continued to pay the mortgage, the bills and debts we had accumulated together along with rent and bills on my new place (what a mug, right?)

For the last two years she has started contributing toward the mortgage. However in the last month she has decided that she now wants me to start paying child maintenance too - on top of the mortgage, bills and debts. This is leaving me in dire financial straits. Which is why I want to sell.

I've said to her that I don't want any money from the profit, all I want is to clear my debt and get the millstone that is the mortgage from around my neck. She is more than welcome to keep any profit to help set her and the kids up in a new place. Which I think is being more than fair.

I appreciate you're not all legal experts, just thought I'd ask for some layman's advice before seeking out professional help.

And oh yes, it is acrimonious, very acrimonious!

You're a c0ck.

And you're about to pay for it.

The CSA has recently changed to the CMS. And they assess on gross income not net.

My monthly "bill" has just gone up by £200 for two children.

ANY BIK is included. My company car, fuel card and health insurance? All subject to a 16% levy.

I then got threatened with an additional 20% levy on that despite not having the bank details to pay said mother.

I've never missed a payment in 10 years. Be aware. be very aware.

dimbo61

When you moved out I am afraid that No court in the land would evict your EX and your 2 young children. It still applies even now till the youngest is 18/19.
Make it Very Very clear to your EX that the minute the CSA /CMS letter drops on the door all payments STOP.
She gets nothing other than the CMS and you will reduce your income or take a lower paid job.
You will lose the house But she will be homeless.
Is she working even part time ?
Claiming child tax credits and working tax credits, plus child benefit and wages for working part time.
While You were paying the mortgage and other bills/debts.
Time to get tough

Thrugelmir

JudgeNutmeg77 wrote: »

For the last two years she has started contributing toward the mortgage. However in the last month she has decided that she now wants me to start paying child maintenance too - on top of the mortgage, bills and debts. This is leaving me in dire financial straits. Which is why I want to sell.

Whose name are the other debts in?