Husband stuck in mortgage with defaulting ex, help!

sammy70

Hi, I feel for you! my husband had the same problem (see my thread on this if you are interested), after months of trying everything we could to sort the situation, we went to court to force the sale, it was the only option to allow us to take back control of our future/husbands credit rating . it was worth every penny of the legal cost for the closure on a nightmare situation

nkkingston

What's the partner like? Is he more on top of these things? It might be worth trying to shift the conversations around the issue from being about two ex-partners with a financial link to two households with a financial link. Presumably her partner isn't going to want to be surprised by a repossession because the ex has buried her head in the sand about the letters. If he's living there they need to negotiate his share of responsibility for the house.

Nevermind309

this was like reading about my wife's and her ex-husbands situation down to a tee....

i am sure that after everything you have looked into for the past few months you have come to realise there isnt a lot you can do withiut a lot of money lying around for court/solicitor fees etc and the whole situation is very frustrating.

my wifes house has been rented out after they split up 8 years ago and since he had taken over the tenants payments to him then him to the bank there has been a handful of payments missed that have always been put right after a few months, however for reasons we don't know he hasnt paid the last 3 payments to the bank, spent the tenants money and will not answer mail/phone calls etc.

my wife has had to go and break the news to the tenants that this is the situation and to keep their rent money for moving, we have looked at every single option written down on a spreadsheet and after a lot of stess and consideration we have decided that it is just best to let it get reposessed, i wont go into all the possible choices you have as you will have gone over them a thousand times whilst pulling your hair out in anger/frustration.

our situation is now : tenants are still living in the house, cannot contact ex husband for love nor money, each month that passes the mortgage isnt paid adds to the arrears (or at least the interest of the direct debit anyway), the house will be repossessed, family who were settled will have to move out at an expense, house will be auctioned off and any shortfall my wife and her elusive ex will be responsible for.

luckily when i got with my wife we saved and bought a house in my name only as we predicted this would happen eventually so once they are chasing for shortfall we can sort out her finances to show she cannot afford to repay the money owed (which there will more than likely be a fair bit we perceive) and she can work from home for her pocket money if you will and after 6 years this will all be over and she will have absolutely nothing to do with her ex who has made her life apart from him quite a struggle.

out of all the situations i have read over the years on these type of forums i dont think i have read one as bad/tricky as ours until this one, and what is more frustrating is that whoever you talk to about it seems to think there is a simple solution to it all !! ''ooh just sell it man'' - ''buy him out!'' - take the house on from him and keep renting it out'' ad infinitum... so only advice i will give is to do whatever feels right for you both, what is more important, 20k or being rid of someone that is wrecking your credit report/your lives??

it will all come out in the wash one way or another. support each other and don't argue about it as the other person is not important enough to make it argument material, you might have to take a hit one way or another but get straight back up and on with your lives, my wife is taking some satisfaction in the fact that her ex will be thinking she is doing everything in her power to 'save' the situation as he couldn't give 2 hoots about his own credit report etc but when he gets a letter saying repossession proceedings are on their way he won't know whats hit him.