Help needed

MagicFerret69

Hello, I am hoping this forum could help me. I struggle with health conditions , my worse on is severe axiety . I have managed to dig myself a hole, as I am bad with money.it's getting and deeper .
I try to manage it the all, by contacting the lender and making an arrangement. Only to find I can't pay n the day we agreed. I seem to be a month behind when I get money. Is the a way to push my repayments for everyone. Including general bills like electric gas etc.

If that's not possible. I have rad something call power of enterny , wh you give a friend of someone you trust to take over. I just want to be told this is how much I have to spend watch month effort food etc. Basically tak control of my fanincaes so I can cope qsier and it may help k owing that I don't even look at my bank. And live of what I am given And they do all the co tasting the to. I am getting really anxious and even crying as I don't k ow what to do. I nee a third party,not a friend as. Feel to embarrassed . I do t know what to do. I tried citizens advice, but the person I saw was very condescending.

Thank you for taking th time to read my post , also sorry for the spelling I am using my iPad .

Jonathan

MrsTinks

Jonathan - welcome to the board firstly

Secondly - deep breath - it's only money and it can be sorted! We will all help you as much as we can, there IS help out there, but if you want us to start you off then why not post us up an SOA? (Statement Of Accounts/Affairs) We will take a look, will tell you what you need to deal with first, what is and isn't a priority payment wise and if need be advise you on if there is a charity we feel might be best for you to speak to?

Have you read Martins articles on Debt and Mental health? Please don't be embarrassed to ask for help - just because people can't see your illness doesn't make it less real than something visible - you didn't choose to be ill, so stop judging yourself

Power of attorney - this is a massive step of trust and should not be handed over to a stranger, it should be someone you trust 100% with your financial future. Not a decision to be made in haste or when you are at a low point.

MrsTinks

A few links:

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/debt-and-mental-health/
https://www.stepchange.org/partner-spotlight/debt-and-mental-health.aspx

National_Debtline

Hi Jonathan

I second MrsTinks' suggestion of completing a statement of affairs and posting your figures here. It will give you an overview of your income and expenditure so that you can see where all of you money goes, where you might be able to make savings, and how much you can realistically afford to pay on debts.

There is a template here:
www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

If you need a month of breathing space to make sure you’re up to speed with all of your essential household bills you can send a ‘hold action’ letter to your creditors. There is a template here and it’s asking for a month where you don’t pay them while you seek advice:

www.nationaldebtline.org/EW/sampleletters/Pages/Hold-action-on-your-account-%28sole-name%29.aspx

You’re welcome to contact National Debtline if you would like to discuss your situation and options for dealing with debts with an adviser.

James
@natdebtline

EssexHebridean

Didn't want to read and run. Some great advice given above - good luck getting it sorted Jonathan!

steveoz

Same I hope you get it sorted soon Jonathan, worrying about debt is not nice and can only add to additional anxiety. I used to suffer from panic attacks and anxiety and sometimes now still have re-occurrences, but I found the worry about finances and money only made things worse and can keep you up at night, sleep is key to recovering and good mental health so if your money is worrying you it is a good place to start.

Don't be worried about what other people think and about asking for help, it sounds to me as though your mind is likely running overtime and you just need some down time, the only way to do that is to share your responsibilities with others - by seeking assistance. When I had too much going on in my head (just overthinking everything and thinking about too much that I couldn't answer) I would literally feel like my forehead was boiling over, it's basically like a computer, when the CPU is running 99% and gets too hot! It can't handle any more to think about, so you need to take away some of those thoughts and the worrying otherwise it will spin you out.

Use forums as well like this one as an outlet it will help. There are some great people on this forum who are way more knowledgeable than me that can help with advice. So you have taken the right step to start in seeking advice, and even putting your thoughts down and asking for assistance and advice on this forum will help.

Another thing reference your anxiety, I am not sure what your position is, but if you are able to do some physical activity, it will help to convert mental energy to physical and calm your anxiety.

Regarding money, I used to be terrible and had a lot of debt. I found the best way for me was to put together a simple spreadsheet of my income for the coming month / four weeks, and what I had to pay out each week, then allocate spending money etc. I even at the start as I couldn't budget cut up some small bits of card (about credit card size) and had my weeks spending on it so I could keep track when I wasn't at a computer.

I don't know if you primarily use debit cards, but that can also be difficult to control spending, even now after years and years of budgeting I still get caught out all the time by using the debit card for things I forgot about. So perhaps draw out your spending cash for the week so you have a physical amount and image to reference to keep track?

Kind regards.

MagicFerret69

Hi guys, thank you for all your replays it makes me feel less alone. Sorry for not getting back sooner. My PC has been out of action, so I am using my tablet. Everything you have mentioned is very helpful. What drives me mad is how bad I am with spending when I can't afford it. Over the last 10 years I was slowly building my credit rating back up. By not having credit cards and not doing anything stupid. Like getting pay day loans. With a huge Apr. The mistake I made is about two years ago, I was worked no again (as you know I suffer from anxiety and more)as I felt ready to try and push away my mental health issues. It was a big step. I then as a test to see if my credit rating had improved over the years. I was accepted to a cr dit card with £1000 limit. This is where my bad decisions and spending what I can't afford started again. And before I know it I now owe £5 on three different credit cards. I feel s annoyed at my self. I seem to like so ding money on things I don't need, mak s me feel better. I have managed to freeze the interest on two of the cards. Which I didn't think was possible. I just called them and explained my position and I am no longer working. So two accounts are now on a set low payment plan. And frozen . I kept one card that I will use a wee bit just to try and claw back my credit rating. I also have other th Bugs like phone, internet , mobile phone etc on contracts and I keep my payments up to date with them. you have suggested I don't give full control over to someone, and I can see where you are coming from. What I have don is opened another bank account now. As you said I will write everything down in a spreadsheet. Then my plan is every month to transfer a set amount onto my spending account and try my hardest to stick to what I have in that account only. Leaving no my main account to deal with my bills. This is my plan , I really just need to try not to dip into my my main account. Thank you again for your help. Sorry if I have bad spelling and grammar . Typing on an iPad is tricky.

chevalier

One thought would be contacting Christians Against Poverty (you don't have to be religious to use them). They will come to the house and help you sort out a budget, and then help you write to creditors etc. Maybe they might be able to give you the support you need to sort your finances out?
good luck
chev

MagicFerret69

I hadn't heard of christians against poverty. They sound like they are worth contacting. Especially if they would come to my house. Thanks again for your help guys. Starting the feel a bit less worried

National_Debtline

It sounds like you’re thinking about things in the right way. Most importantly you’re already aware of the issues you have, you’re seeking advice and trying to deal with your finances positively.

Contacting the Christians Against Poverty is a good suggestion and they could work well for you. Keep posting here whenever you need support or guidance.

James
@natdebtline

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you have made a good start Jonathan. Keeping just bills money in your bank account is a good idea. Also think about putting a small amount away monthly to an emergency fund and withdraw spending money weekly by cash and stop using cards.