Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to return to work after maternity leave?

DarkLightMamma

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, I just wanted to find out if the way my boss treats me is normal and if I am getting too emotionally affected about my situation.

A bit of background, the company is very small, three members of office staff (who are all related) and me. I started my job last year, I have 9 years of major product knowledge and experience and was supposed to begin 3 months of their company specific product training before becoming a home-based external sales rep for the area, this is the job I was interviewed for and as far as I was aware had accepted. I had to chase constantly for a letter of employment before I was willing to hand in my notice to my old employer and eventually received it with my title as Sales Representative. Upon starting my new job I was advised that the office manager had decided she didn't want another external sales rep and so they had decided to make my position office based to support her. As I had moved in order to ensure close proximity to the office while training, and to be in a better position to react to upcoming projects I felt that I had to accept this.

The warehouse staff warned me that I was seeing the nice side of the family and to expect them to change, knowing from history that warehouse staff were the best judges of character when it came to management treatment I spent my days picking up as much product knowledge as I could and waiting for the tide to turn, which took about 3 months to actually happen which meant that I had become complacent and convinced that the stores had possibly been exaggerating.

To summarise, the first few months of the change was bearable, albeit unpleasant and then in February I discovered I was pregnant. I told the company in April but by this time I was already regretting the move. I am the sort of person who takes pride in their job, but sadly I did make some mistakes, which I will take responsibility for because at the end of the day, I did make them, however the 3 months of product training that I was to be given on these new products never actually materialised, so the knowledge I did have was picked up by listening to conversations, reading specifications and attempting to get a straight answer from my superiors, which wasn't very easy as they were using my lack of knowledge to update the website by me finding out the answers independently and then adding the details to our website.

During my pregnancy I ended up counting down the days until I was due to start maternity leave because I was constantly being sworn at (every single day - not a single hour while I was at work was I given reprieve), told I was obnoxious, told not to be a know-it-all when answering questions, accused of lying, asked if we needed to have a conversation about my attitude on a few occasions, (I did ask the warehouse staff who were outside the office at the time if I had a bad attitude because sometimes when I get worn down I do get snappy - but was told no and that she was being unreasonable, they actually asked me how I hadn't walked out on the company a few times!), whenever I agreed something with one of the owners (her brother-in-law) the manager would speak to her sister and they would stop me from doing something, was accused of always being late (maybe once or twice, but I was usually there 10+ hours without a lunch break which the brother-in-law was fine with), was accused of taking the pee when I had to take my pet to the vet one morning for an operation (I asked for a half day off in the morning to take him but wasn't given it because one of the owners were going to be out in the afternoon).

From the day I announced my pregnancy every time I requested time off for my antenatal appointments I felt like I was being interrogated, when did I have to go (no problem), when would I be back (no problem), why couldn't I book it outside of work time (...because they don't give appointments outside of work time), was it a necessary appointment (...it's my first pregnancy, I don't know if it's necessary but surely they wouldn't ask me to go if they didn't want/need to see me?) and then the hospital gave me an appointment at 11:15am which I was asked to take a half day holiday for (hospital is 45 mins away - my closest hospital). I didn't know at the time they weren't supposed to ask that but thought nothing of it at it was a silly time appointment and I didn't mind as I had plenty of holiday remaining.

I am now on maternity leave and am already dreading returning back there as I really don't think I can cope with having a constant barrage of this treatment again, am I being unreasonable in my assessment of the situation or is this out of order?

asajj

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to go back somewhere you are treated badly. If you are able to find another job easily, don't think twice. I have seen many people not coming back to work from maternity for various reasons and very understandable.

tacpot12

Don't go back to this company. Find a good one.

nimbo

Did you receive more than statutory payment?

There may be a clause in your maternity policy that says if you don't go back for a certain length of time you owe the firm money.

we had a worker who had to come back for 12 weeks so she didn't have to pay some back. She was very open about what she was doing and why. I work for a local authority and their policy is a fairly standard one across local authority / NHS organisations. It may be worth reading what your policy states so you don't fall foul of what it says.

If it makes you miserable I would say not to go back if you can afford it or are able to loom for another job. But I think if it were me and I would have to pay them money - I would see if I could grin and bear it for 12 weeks if that was all it was. Obviously if yours states something ridiculous I may feel differently.

Spendless

My understanding is if you receive more than statuaory maternity you either have to return to work for x amount of time or return the extra money.

I'd leave and look for something else. I packed in working when I had my eldest, the childcare bill was equivalent to my net pay and they only had full-time workers. Working full-time for no pay didn't appeal.

Good luck finding another job. :beer:

DarkLightMamma

No I get SMP only, I had a letter from one of the owners stating that if I chose not to return it wouldn't affect my SMP. In that they were fair, although the office manager has been telling me for at least 3-4 months that I won't be allowed to return part time, which having a look into childcare costs would be all I would be able to afford as Spendless said, it costs almost as much as my net pay! As for the maternity policy, I haven't been issued with a written contract, they have only ever outlined verbally what my terms are, there is no Equality policy (that I am aware of), no discrimination, no health and safety or otherwise.

getmore4less

Way to much over thinking.

do you want to go back or not?

If not give the minimum notice you are not coming back.

missbiggles1

Can you afford not to be earning?

DigForVictory

If you Must go back, go back in May - shortest working month of the year with the Bank Holidays?

Savvy_Sue

DarkLightMamma wrote: »

the office manager has been telling me for at least 3-4 months that I won't be allowed to return part time,

They are entitled to say that: you have the right to return to your pre-maternity leave job, on the same terms and conditions as before. You also have the right to ask for a reduction in hours or a change in your t&C, and they have to consider the request - but they don't have to grant it.

However, in the circumstances, I wouldn't go back. Whether you make it clear now that you're not intending to return, or keep them guessing, is up to you.

cr1mson

If it were me I would use my maternity leave to find another job but not resign from existing one until I had one. Usually seems easier to get a job if you have a job. Hopefully you will have a nice new part time job before you need to return.