The Simple Bare Necessities feat. Gratitude & Recipes

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning :hello:

Cheery_Daff wrote: »

Poor DH. ...... There's bread to toast if you're hungry'

My dearest Cheery - you are a better woman that I, as you have bread to toast in your house! :rotfl: Last time I looked, I think we're down to 2 crusts. It was - have DH do a much needed task, or do some shopping yesterday (he had the car); so I opted for the much needed task, thinking bread 'n stuff could wait........

I did make curry, and put it on the side (including an individual portion of rice in the fridge, that could be microwaved), and didn't say a word, just put my plate together, and before I could even sit down, was told, 'I don't want any..................'

Fine.

The curry I made was this one. I won't make it again. It was a waste of my 29p cauliflower Even with putting more spices in (for flavour, not heat) it was very, very bland. It's only saving grace was that it used spinach and chickpeas out of the freezer, but as I've portions of the stuff left now, and there still isn't room in the freezer, we might be eating it over, and over and over.......

Today we will be putting the tree up :j I think words with DH will have to be exchanged, as either he shapes up, or slaps a smile on his face. He is currently as much cheer as an ingrowing bunion I wouldn't mind if he was really ill. The world can't grind to a halt, just because he feels a bit under the weather.

Some money will be spent today. I might despatch DH.........:think: No, no, I mean, I might send DH to the discounters to get the basics, and I need to pop up to the high street to get a few bits and bobs. Will try and do that first thing, so that we've plenty of time to relax and do the tree.

It struck me last night how much our friendships have changed since we knew Baby Greying was going to join us, and subsequently becoming a family of three. I guess that it has been brought home recently by the christmas card 'list'. The names that have disappeared - especially the one I didn't forsee . There's a possibility that we'll lose another this year, as their card has yet to arrive, and............ Then there's the 'old' friends trying to all but ignore that there is a baby to consider when thinking about activities... I'm finding it a bit odd tbh. Although it brings into sharp focus the value of the 'new' chums I've made. The irony being that the best, and most thoughtful ones have adult children (rather than tinies) in their lives. So it isn't a case that I have surrounded myself with the yummy mummy/pappy set, to the exclusion of all others.

Discombobulating. And something that I never anticipated would happen.

Ho hum. Pulling me big girl's knickers on and shifting-a-tail-feather. Cancel the DJ; the pity party ain't getting started.

Greying X

System

If it's any help Greying , I know you have lost friends from being older parents, but I have had a couple of friends become distant because I have been blessed with grandchildren. One of them is never likely to have any that will be close enough to visit and she isn't interested in me visiting her with mine. Life does strange things to people , I don't understand it myself.

Have a good day get DH to man up , and enjoy putting the tree up , I bet baby Greying will enjoy the task.

Ps DGD can now get out of the sleeping bag! I spoke to soon x

Fortune_Smiles

Just popping in to say that I'm not sure the sending of Christmas cards relates directly to friendship. The Fortunate Household doesn't send Christmas cards but donates the money saved to charity instead. Many of my very good friends don't send cards for similar reasons or run out of time or are just forgetful. Some people, who I know really don't like me, send Christmas cards every year without fail - which is horrid as I really don't want to be reminded of them :rotfl: Thankfully the move has meant I can be selective about who knows our address this year and we have the grand total of 4 Christmas cards in the house so far

I lost what I thought were two very good friends this year and it was a difficult time. However, I felt they had behaved badly towards me and others and our values had diverged. Although I felt the loss, it was the loss of the early good friendship and I do not miss the later years at all. We always think of partnerships and marriages as having a natural life course (hopefully a progression and not an end) but that friendships just go on as always in the same way. However, the current thinking is that most friendships have a natural life of about 7 years and, throughout our lives, we have quite a turnover of friends. It's natural and healthy as we grow and develop and our situations change.

I'm sorry you have lost some old friends too this year. But I think it's to free up space for some wonderful new ones So here's to 2018 and all the fabulous new friends and adventures we can look forward to :beer:

Fortune x

in_need_of_direction

As someone who has yet to unearth never mind send cards, I agree with fortune. Sometimes people just don't get around to it. I promise that there's frequently no slight intended!

beanielou

Nowt as queer as folk.
So very true.

in_need_of_direction

Greying, I was in a n3xt outlet store on Friday. I don't know if you have one nearby but they were having a major clearance event including children's clothes. I picked up a number of items for £2/£3 for the wee ones of nephews and nieces who love them because they wash really well and are quite robust. I know you like to reuse and recycle but if they are as cheap as the chazza and, given you could always subsequently donate, it might be worth a look. I even got a Christmas tee for £1!

Greying_Pilgrim

Thank you for taking the time to post. I've found your comments invaluable.

Cumbria lass - had you asked me before I was pregnant, who I thought would be my best and most supportive chums, Iwould have named none of those that turned out to be so......... You just never can tell, eh?

Fortune - i agree with what you have written. I don't use cards as a barometer of friendship - a fair amount of 'duty' cards are sat on the mantle.......... I think I have just realised that we have probably reached the end of the road with our friendship - and yes, mourning 'what was' not 'what is now' is probably a good way to describe it. I can only say, that having had my little 'vent' on here, I'm curiously at peace with it all. And if 7yrs is an average friendship length, then I must pay heed to the fact that both the 'suspect' friendships have lasted 2x and 3x that long, respectively, so I'll say :beer: to that, and then move on. And I have absolutely no problem turning my energies and attentions to cultivating and maintaining my new chumships After all, it occured to me up the High Street that a couple of lasses in b&m and h3r0n spend more time, each week, greeting me and exchanging a few words with me & BG than either of these two 'old' friends do. And if I go into either shop alone, they are the first to ask 'where's BG? Are they alright? :rotfl::T

INOD - unfortunately I don't have an outlet store/park near enough by to make significant savings. But I hear you on the purchasing from them - I would have no problem, as I sometimes think charity shops are a little off with their pricing - particularly on worn items......

Beanie - seconded!


After cross words and a little distance apart, DH is coming round to being a little bit more singing from the same hymnal.....

Right, best get a spot of lunch going.

Thanks again.

Greying X

mcculloch29

One of the bonuses of being an Army wife is that friendships were always being made, and in pre-Internet days, left behind too. I got used to losing touch with people. In my working life, I have made friends, and left them behind when moving on.

The friends I have now, with one shining exception, are not truly lifetime friendships. Some are still very longstanding.

I've only ever 'lost' one friendship, that of a person who, sadly, was unable or reluctant to address the mental health issues that had made the friendship extremely toxic.
Many other friends are mental health service users, and so are family members, that wasn't the issue.

People move on. I've got in touch with people from my past on FB. We interact, but generally the interactions are more to do with our shared past than our separate present.

Every sympathy on dealing with those suffering who are hell-bent determined on making you suffer too.

Greying_Pilgrim

mcculloch - I think I would have struggled to be a forces spouse, I find making friends difficult. I suppose I'd have had to get into the 'it's an acquaintance for 6months/1 year/2years or whatever' mindset - pretty quickly. I totally get the reason/season/lifetime concept of friendships. I think what I was struggling with is the 'no apparent reason other than BG' for the friendship fizzling out. I'd hate to think BG is the reason, as they've done no one any harm. I'd have preferred to have had a real reason for the friendship to have ended (on either side).

But I'm happy at where i've got to with a little reflection on the input given by msers. Thanks everyone

Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Evening :hello:

I'm ducking in early, whilst tea is cooking

The tree is UP! and decorated and lit - with the 'new' lights, and our 20 yr old 'twinkling' set The lights don't match (bright white LED's and old white old style bulbs.... ) But I have already sat in the dark, with BG on my lap (for all of 2 minutes!) and marvelled at the wonder of it all.............

The tree was as per that on display above the boxes :j And whilst not brilliant, was £15 well spent - especially since it wasn't £15 'cash' to me :D But I'm pleased with it, and the quality level for the price I paid

BG likes it and keeps pulling us to see the 'tee'

My tree topper from w1lks was less of a success, being far too heavy for wire & plastic We've improvised with another decoration and will think harder in the future about the weight of the dec we buy

Tea is going to be 'burger' and chips with beans. DH's choice, which I'm happy to accomodate, rather than cooking fish, chips & mushy peas and have him not eat it.......

Today I am grateful for these 3 things;

the friends that I have in the 'now'

the power of light, even in darkness

'joining in'

Ta for popping in and supporting me. Appreciated. Greatly.

Greying X