Preparing for the inevitables

Newly_retired

I am frequently struck when browsing these boards just how unprepared most of us are for the inevitables of life. Death and Taxes for a start.

Kittie's wonderfully supportive thread for widows shows us how the death of a beloved husband is so hard to deal with, but equally on the Death, wills and probate board I read of the many problems encountered because of tricky wills, or no will at all.

Why are we so reluctant to be prepared? ( We have made wills, but when I talk to my husband about LPAs, he can't see the point.)

Another inevitable is dealing with money, be it budgeting when you first start earning, or readjusting once children arrive, or learning about tax credits, or saving, income tax, benefits, pensions.

When life hits us with a change of circumstance, the majority of people seem to be absolutely thrown, utterly unprepared.

I know Martin has made a lot of noise about getting financial education in schools, but important though that is, it is an ongoing issue, throughout our lives.

On the emotional side, it seems to me we all need to learn to become more independent, so we are better able to cope alone, if that is our lot.

Apart from this brilliant Forum, does anyone have any ideas how we as a society can help each other to face up to these two inevitables?
I am posting on this board hoping that age brings wisdom.

[Deleted User]

You are so incredibly right NR. Most people live striding head, for what? We don`t as a society, talk about the bad things that can and do happen, yet every bad thing can make us stronger as individuals, if we let it.

It is a start if people can learn to live in the moment, to take in what is around us right now. Rather than wanting this and that or living sadly in the past

Evolution used to dictate that we learnt from our experiences and that we become able to offer wise words to younger people but they don`t want to know wise words any more. No-one wants to face the worst thing, death, but it happens to all of us. Poverty is another thing, it will never happen say some as they continue to browse on smart phones. Us older ones, know that poverty can strike out of the blue, the rug that is pulled away. It is about having a safety net, a catch all, some money put by and most of all, knowledge, a willingless to learn from experienced folk and a preparedness to make do

Hardly anyone is prepared to make do these days, yes on a superficial level but not on a deep survival level. Skills to be learnt but even my own don`t want to learn, I never push them, they need to want to but unless people have experienced utter poverty, or a tragic circumstance, how would they know that they need to know more?

lessonlearned

I'm afraid that for many it's just human nature.....most of us are ostriches when it comes to the "bad stuff". Serious illness and death are just too horrific for most of us to engage with. We don't even want to contemplate it so we push it away.

Realistically most of us learn life's lessons the hard way.......I know I certainly did, hence my nom de plume. I was a butterfly, a real airhead when it came to the serious stuff. I just breezed through life with never an inkling of what lay ahead.

Perhaps as well really. If I had known my future it would have ruined everything. It would have tainted our lives and destroyed our happiness.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it.......lol but sometimes we really are better off not knowing what lies in store.

No amount of forethought or preparation would have helped. Had my husband known he probably would not have married or had children. How diminished his life (and mine) would have been. It would have been a sword hanging over his head.

As for my boys......well they wouldn't exist.

As for money.

I watched a debt programme recently....something like panorama - the figures for personal debt were truly astonishing. It transpires that most people are just a pay check away from total financial melt down. Further large numbers of people are barely holding their heads above water on a month by month basis, borrowing more and more each month just to stay afloat - this month, this week.

We are I believe the seventh largest economy in the world and yet at a personal level so many really are in dire straits. Even those who appear to be "ok" are standing at the edge of a precipice, no savings, no investments, no real assets.

I am naturally an optimisitic person but even I can see the dangers ahead. I firmly believe that the global economy is in for a very bumpy ride and that no one is going to be immune.

I have watched helplessly as a couple of family members live up to their means (and in one case well beyond). In each case the individual was fine on their own, and as singletons they lived well but sensibly. it is their spouses who are spendthrifts and who squander money and who have recklessly endangered their families financial health and well being.

I have no answers.

Apparently it's even worse in America. I was reading that there are millions of Americans who couldn't even put their hands on 400 USD to cover an emergency - not even able to borrow because they are maxed out on borrowing. Also that many middle class Americans could only survive for about 6 days if they lost their jobs.

I find that horrifying.

I can't help but thinking there must be millions who are just sleepwalking their way into financial Armageddon.

elona

I have tried to post twice so will give it another go.

Fortunately dd and her husband seem to be very sensible with money . I remember thirty years ago doing a drive share to work with a couple of married people with families and one was saying how hard it was to pay off his credit card after a holiday. Naively I asked if he meant he had paid off the lot (as that is what DH and I would have done) and was horrified when he replied it was the bare minimum he had paid.

I also remember hearing the radio report that interest was going up to 15% and gulping while thinking how best to save . DH used to ask "Are we economising?" and when I innocently asked "Why?" he would say "We are eating better". By that he meant I was making my own pastry, pizza, stuffed pancakes, soups, sauces, stews and using every scrap I had in the fridge before buying anything else.

I think a lot of chickens will be coming home to roost (more like vultures) so have been making sure the bungalow is snug and safe, stocking up on bargains and sorting out a couple of upstairs bedrooms both for family celebrations and for longer use in case of emergency like job move, house move, building work etc.

I have found a good deal on variofocals and am having an eye test tomorrow morning. Family have given me a list of a couple of things they would like as a present so that gives me time to seek out the best deals and free postage etc.

Paying for the new blinds this month and another few bits has left me needing to be careful for the rest of this month so will be keeping an eagle eye on bank account. An approved food order arrives on Friday but it is mainly cereals and tinned tomatoes etc all at half price or less and musclefood deals are in the freezer.