In debt and worried sick

EssexHebridean

x__Indigo_x wrote: »

THIS . speak to him you cannot and should not have to deal with this alone. I know its harsh but where does he think the money is coming from now his income has reduced, a money tree? I suspect he has an idea about the situation but deals with it by blocking it out and thinking you will deal with it. A man with a business isn't stupid enough to think that a reduced income would not mean reduced outgoings or debt getting bigger. Furthermore when signing for a re mortgage did he not have to sign?


Be brave and speak to him! x

Not if the house isn't in his name as well - as he's self-employed it could be that when he and the OP bought the property he was unable to get lending secured on his income - in which case the mortgage will be in OP's name only - and most Mortgage companies will insist on the house being registered the same way.

enthusiasticsaver

There is little to be gained from him blaming you and you need to understand you have not arrived at this point on your own. If his business has not been doing well then he surely knows there is less income coming in which either leads to decreased living standards or debt.

If you can both work on this together from this point forward so you both know how much money you have to spend and how much you are repaying then it will be much easier. You have put the wheels in motion by setting up a dmp so he needs to know you both have to now live within your means and there can be no further borrowing.

I am sure your mental health is connected with your debt and the stress of managing it alone and he also needs to step up to help you. Protecting him is not the way to deal with this.

As someone else suggested put it in a letter with all the debt you have and the dmp plan going forward. Work out income and outgoings so he knows what you have to live on each month.

mickeymouse303

Sorry to hear what you're going through. I agree with others who've mentioned being honest about it, or else your suffering will just get worse.

enthusiasticsaver

He's self employed and works been really bad the last 5 years so I've been paying nearly all the bills which has put yet more strain on me while trying to hide my debts too.

They are his debts too. Presumably you have not been buying stuff just for you. If works been really bad he must surely realise you have debts or does he think you can magic money up from nowhere?

Kitkat21

Thanks for all the advice and comments, I really do appreciate it more than you realise. Just to clarify, the house is in my name due to him being self employed so I've always felt like it's my burden. I'm going to be brave and tell him as it's the only way forward. Xx

[Deleted User]

Good luck Keep us posted x

EssexHebridean

Yes, figured that was probably the case. Not unusual in your situation.

Good luck - keep us informed how things go! As others have said though he must have had his head in the sand to an extent at least over this - I really wouldn't be surprised if this doesn't come as a massive shock to him.