Is it ok to be getting lift to work?

Rathbone25

Hi,

I've just started a new job. I was going to ask someone last week if I could get a lift home just on that day, but then she said from next week she could give me lifts to and from work. I live on the route so stopping isn't that much of a hassle. I offered petrol money, but she said no. I was thinking from next month I will get a bike. She asked me about other transport options I could use, so I don't know if she'd be willing to give me lifts all the time, which is fair enough, I don't want to be taking advantage. I was thinking of asking her up front if we could do it for about a month and I'll contribute towards the petrol, the bus is quite expensive. Do you think this is ok? I'm just concerned she'd be too embarassed to accept petrol money and I don't want to be overbearing while offering it! Any advice/thoughts welcome, thanks.

Handbag59

Have a conversation with her, she may have her own ideas on what she is willing to do and that could be the same as your own, She has volunteered to give you lifts so she must be comfortable with it.If she won't accept payment ask if she has a charity that she supports that you make a donation to.

Pollycat

I wouldn't want to accept lifts from someone on a long-term basis - especially if she won't accept any money.

What if she's ill and doesn't let you know in time for you to make alternative arrangements to get into work?
That would maybe look bad on you from your employer's perspective.

I'd look into making alternative arrangements.
A bike sounds a good idea if the route is OK.

[Deleted User]

Ask her out for dinner...

Stevie_Palimo

I used to give lifts to people when I worked in a office out of town and wouldn't take any money from them, They did buy me lunch a few times and a beer after work which allowed them to feel better.

Some people are not fussed about taking the money as they have no interest but others would want a fair amount.

Quite possibly as Deleted_User says ask her out for dinner as she may fancy you for all know, If you are nervous about it then offer as a platonic basis to her.

moneyistooshorttomention

Personally - I'd proceed with getting your bike (as that means you have transport reliably sorted and it will be useful elsewhere too).

Once you have the bike and no longer require lifts from her - then perhaps a small present to say "Thanks" would be appreciated. Maybe a bottle of something alcoholic (not cheap plonk - but a decent quality bottle of wine or something in the "stronger" line that most people would like, eg brandy? gin?).

LameWolf

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Personally - I'd proceed with getting your bike (as that means you have transport reliably sorted and it will be useful elsewhere too).

Once you have the bike and no longer require lifts from her - then perhaps a small present to say "Thanks" would be appreciated. Maybe a bottle of something alcoholic (not cheap plonk - but a decent quality bottle of wine or something in the "stronger" line that most people would like, eg brandy? gin?).

^ ^ This - but try and tactfully find out what sort of thing she would like as a thank you present; it'd be awful to buy a bottle of wine only to discover she's teetotal, or something.....

Purple_kitten

Completely agree with Moneystoshortomention and LW.

If it was me being asked I would not want to hurt feelings or say no.

culpepper

You could always say that you love getting the lifts but you feel bad to just take and not give anything back. Then when you get your bicycle it wont look quite so sudden and you can still give a thank you gift.

Slowly57

Bear in mind that a bicycle might not be as appealing in winter - but check out incentives https://www.cycle2work.info and things like https://liftshare.com/uk

As to thank you gifts you can get a wide range of gift cards from the Post Office!

greenbee

You may find that your company has a car sharing policy that means the person giving you a lift gets preferential parking...

But it is a good idea to formalise the arrangement, and also to make sure that your manager knows so that they know if one of you is late the other will be. You also need to plan so that you know about days off, holidays etc and make alternative arrangements.