Taking annual leave on-site, on-call, and general boundary issues with employer

SillyOne

Andypandyboy wrote: »

OK, I don't know how old you are but I probably have kids your age, so here goes. You need a really good shake, look in the mirror, really look. Do you like what you see? You have a life outside of work, but currently it is coming a very poor second, if it is even in the ring.

I still am not sure this is for real, if it is you are definitely damaged, whether from your background or from your need to believe that only you are accountable. Let it go, you have done your best, is that not true?

This company is sucking you dry, draining the lifeblood from you, and you are allowing it, resign now. Move on and don't ever make the mistake of believing that you are indispensible again. Find a new company and aim for well paid obscurity.

I'm late 20s (28 actually) so not a "naive youngster" but perhaps have some life experience ahead still. You're right that I've put my personal life a "very poor second" and I feel bad about that, and constantly fall out with my OH over things I "have to" do to keep things running, like logging in remotely at silly hours (he works in the blue collar world and stuff like logging in remotely Isn't A Thing - you finish the job at 6 or whatever and you're done for the day). If it comes to it and we split up, he has other options - friends to move in with (already offered), etc. He isn't dependent on me, financially or emotionally.

I've made the mistake I think of enquiring after colleagues' familiies and it seems that mostly they are part of the "precariat" and now I have a sense of obligation to them.

I'd like to think I've done my best, but I have that nagging feeling, a similar one to when you're about to go away for a while and get the "I'm sure I've forgotten something but I can't for the life of me think what it is". Like there's something that was obvious but I somehow missed in dealing wth these people.

74jax

We'll it is Saturday night. Glass of wine and popcorn ready.

theoretica

SillyOne wrote: »

They are out on the streets just before Christmas, and it's my fault!

No it isn't - you tried really hard, but failing at something which is beyond one person is not your fault. If everyone in the company had pushed as hard as you then it might have worked, but it sounds to me like you set yourself an unreasonable, if not impossible task.

Now, leave the company to the bosses and get job hunting for somewhere that appreciates you as you deserve.

Timpu

Forgive me, for the first time on this forum I'm going to be harsh with much reluctance: If you're not adjusting your attitude after 7, yes 7 pages of strangers making the effort to help you out then there is no hope. You claim to see the error of your ways but then ignore the advice. I wish you well OP and that in time you'll be kind to yourself and move on. I'm out.

getmore4less

how do think people feel here loads of good advice totally ignored.

Book 2 weeks holiday and turn off your phone.

Gavin83

Be honest this isn't a genuine topic is it? Your trolling.

If it is genuine it's frankly pathetic and I'm not really sure what answers your expecting. The company are treating you like a mug and I actually think you enjoy it. I've come across your type before, with a high opinion of themselves and an enjoyment of how mistreated they are, totally unwilling to do anything about it.

If what you wrote here is true and your as good as you think then any normal person would have left by now. I'd suggest you write your letter of resignation tonight, hand it in tomorrow and then book yourself some professional help as you clearly have some unresolved issues. I'm actually being serious here. I know someone who sounded very much like you, she did nothing about it and actually ended up being sectioned and has now been unemployed for 5 years. This is not normal or healthy behaviour and you need to do something about it.

If it is just trolling then shame on you.

74jax

Gavin83 wrote: »

If what you wrote here is true and your as good as you think then any normal person would have left by now. I'd suggest you write your letter of resignation tonight, hand it in tomorrow and then book yourself some professional help as you clearly have some unresolved issues. I'm actually being serious here. I know someone who sounded very much like you, she did nothing about it and actually ended up being sectioned and has now been unemployed for 5 years. This is not normal or healthy behaviour and you need to do something about it.

If it is just trolling then shame on you.

I was going to suggest help too. I think the op is in serious trouble and heading for a breakdown. But then I thought it must be a troll due to some of the things wrote.