Removing an ex from the house.

Freecall

Old_Badger wrote: »

Sponge gets money by being aggressive and intimidating towards her, so that she will give the sponge money toward cigs and soft drinks.

Are the following four points all satisfied?

1. Sponge repeatedly or continuously engages in behaviour towards your sister, that is controlling or coercive.
   
2. Sponge and your sister are personally connected (ie. living together)
   
3. Sponge's behaviour has a serious effect on your sister.
   
4. Sponge knows or ought to know that the behaviour will have a serious effect on your sister.

If so then Sponge is committing an offence under Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015.

All four points have to be satisfied for the offence to be prosecuted by the CPS and in the case of points 3 & 4 the word ‘serious’ is used in the guidelines so just being a bit unhappy about the situation or not talking is not enough. If on the other hand the situation is starting to make your sister feel unwell or fearful of her financial well-being then this would satisfy the requirement.

If so, make an appointment to meet an officer at your local police station and ask them to asses the situation under Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015.

G_M

Sponge is an 'Excluded Occupier'. ie not a tenant with tenant's right. Sponge is 'excluded' from leglislation protecting tenants from eh eviction.

The police/criminal law is one way to go - though does not necesarily solve the problem of evicition!

I would add a step to the recommendations of others:

1) hand sponge a letter, sayig briefly the relationship has broken down and that (s)he has a week to leave (give a date).

2) while sponge is out, inspect (temporarily remove?) lock to identify a replacement. Replace original
3) buy replacement lock and hide (the lock, not yourself)
4) if/as soon as sponge leaves, change the locks. You don;t want a boomerang!
5) if sponge does not leave, on the date given, change the locks, I would do this while the sponge is out (buying fags!)
6) pack sponge's belongings
7) liaise with sponge to arrange time to collect belongings. Have a friend present, or deliver to sponge

How to change locks:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA580cRHXDY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1WP3o4jAFc

MEM62

Old_Badger wrote: »

She has mentioned it a few times, but I think she is scared to enforce it.

Until she gets to the point where she is prepared to do something about it nothing will change. I know that sounds harsh but that is the way it is. Are there any male family members that can be present when she brings the matter to a head with him?

Money_maker

The sponge could be her son.


Edit: No it isn't, ignore me. Doh! Although sounds like some teenagers I know...

Retrievermomma31

What's your relationship with Sponge?

Without your sister, Sponge has near enough nothing so they don't have a leg to stand on really.

Could your sister move in with you temporarily until Sponge is gone?
My idea is that she could stay with you, and then she can tell Sponge that they've got 1 week for example to leave.
That way she's not near Sponge and is in a safe environment, and she is also giving Sponge some time to leave.

G_M

Retrievermomma31 wrote: »

What's your relationship with Sponge?

Without your sister, Sponge has near enough nothing so they don't have a leg to stand on really.

Could your sister move in with you temporarily until Sponge is gone?
My idea is that she could stay with you, and then she can tell Sponge that they've got 1 week for example to leave.
That way she's not near Sponge and is in a safe environment, and she is also giving Sponge some time to leave.

I'd advise against leaving sponge alone in property for a week after giving notice.

* locks might be changed in her absence leading to complications
* revenge damage......

Far better if possible have a friend come and stay.

Guest101

Can we clarify, there are no marital rights involved?

nkkingston

Financial abuse

Financial abuse happens where a perpetrator uses financial means to control you and may include any of the following:

- stopping the victim working
- controlling the household finances including wages, benefits and bank accounts
- forcing the victim to hand over wages and money
- persuading or forcing the victim to take out loans and credit in her/his name.

If you have been pressurised or bullied to take out loans or credit in your name, the debt may be unenforceable. This is a complex area and you will need to get advice.

More about if you have signed an agreement to borrow money when you didn't want to

The domestic violence charity Refuge has produced 'You can afford to leave: a financial guide for women and children experiencing domestic violence'. The leaflet is on the Refuge website at https://www.refuge.org.uk PDF .

It's very easy for abuse victims to convince themselves what's happening to them doesn't count as abuse, because they have pre-set ideas about what abuse is and who it happens between. There isn't one type of abuser, one type of victim, or one type of abuse. Your sister needs to recognise that sponge's behaviour is abusive and her (and your) response needs to take that into account. Reach out for support from abuse charities to make sure you can tackle it appropriately.

Old_Badger

There are no marital rights in this situation

westernpromise

itchyfeet123 wrote: »

Relevance?

It's important to challenge sexist assumptions.