Joint bank account

TeamPlum

Izadora wrote: »

I can't understand why anyone would think that not having everything in a joint account equates to begrudging each other spending money.
We're quite happy to share everything but when you have very different spending habits (I have to leave a reasonable buffer in an account so that we're covered for unforeseen circumstances, OH is quite happy to take it down to the last penny) it can cause friction if everything is coming out of a joint account.
I never begrudge my OH spending money and frequently bail him out from the 'joint' account towards the end of the month but by being in control of our budget I don't end up with nasty surprises like not having enough left to buy food for the last week of every month, which my OH used to do regularly when he lived on his own...

Exactly the opposite is true IME. When it's all in one account, because there is no "mine" and "yours" there is no begrudging.

You said you bail your OH out, does he have to pay that back? Do you ever think to yourself "Well he'll have to pay for that because I bailed him out"? If you don't, isn't it inherently unfair? When you go out for a meal, is it implied that if I pay this time, you pay next time? So we're in a situation where we're essentially keeping tabs on who bought what.

My sister in law and OH do the "my money/your money" thing. He earns 32k, she earns 13k. They put the same amount into the joint account - lets say £500. She's left with £400, he's left with ~ £1500. Is that fair when they have a daughter?

If he pays for a day out from "my money", who pays for the next thing for the family? Him? Her?

Much easier when it's all in one pot to start with, then these discussions are avoided.

BNT

Okydoky25 wrote: »

When I had our children and gave up my V good job to do so I didn't for a second think that I was spending money that I had not earnt. Me and my husband are a team.

I am back to work now and all our money goes into the one account and neither of us minds the other spending out of it as long as the bills are paid and there is food on the table.

I totally agree with that. I have been able to work in jobs and countries that have allowed me to earn well. I can only do that if my wife and family make changes to enable it. Now my wife has progressed in her career and I have taken on some of the things she used to do. Neither of us, nor any married couple I know, would think of their earnings as being theirs alone. It is household income. Which account it sits in is irrelevant.

Izadora

TeamPlum wrote: »

You said you bail your OH out, does he have to pay that back?

Of course not, it's his money too. The only difference is that it makes him think a little bit more about how he's spending it and whether he really needs what he's buying right now as he'll have to ask me to draw it out for him.

TeamPlum wrote: »

Do you ever think to yourself "Well he'll have to pay for that because I bailed him out"? If you don't, isn't it inherently unfair?

I've never seen it as being unfair, partly because he pays more into that account than I do (he earns quite a lot more and has no travel expenses so still has more disposable income a month than I do) but mostly because I know that the money's available to me as well and as long as it's not going to put us in an awkward position when it comes to paying for essentials I really don't care how it gets used.

TeamPlum wrote: »

When you go out for a meal, is it implied that if I pay this time, you pay next time? So we're in a situation where we're essentially keeping tabs on who bought what.

If we go out for dinner it'll generally go on the 'joint' account as it's a shared expense. If one of us is particularly flush one month we'll treat the other but we don't really keep tabs on who's bought what, we just muddle through and I make sure neither of us is ever completely skint.

TeamPlum

So he often has to be bailed out, which he doesn't pay back, despite him earning more money than you (and presumably spending more) - why not just have a joint account?

JJG

TeamPlum wrote: »

So he often has to be bailed out, which he doesn't pay back, despite him earning more money than you (and presumably spending more) - why not just have a joint account?

Because it sounds like he'd spend both incomes unchecked if this was the case. The separate account allows the poster to ensure that there is enough money in the account for bills and food.

NBLondon

Hemera wrote: »

We basically share all the expenses perceived as "ordinary" or needed - I can't let my hair grow indefinitely (and neither can he), can I? :rotfl: The same goes if any of us needs some new clothes or shoes, they are just considered household expenses.

I'd say it's only a household expense if more than one household member can/will benefit from it. So food items are shared (even if only one of us likes it) and everyday toiletries can go on the general budget - it would be silly to quibble over a couple of quid for shower gel or say "You can't borrow any of mine if you've run out". But m'wife buys her own contact lens solution and makeup and I buy my own shaving stuff. Clothes and shoes are individual purchases- unless you are called Grayson and Phillippa :-)

skimper

When my Finance first moved in we had separate accounts and he gave me half the bills/mortgage, only because I owned the apartment & everything was set up.

When we moved in to our first house 6 months ago we got a joint account, found it easier for all bills & household expenses. Both our wages get paid in to there and all bills come out of it.

If i was to go shopping & spend £50 he would be fine with it, same as I would be if he did it. We did agree though if anything we wanted to buy was over £100 we would discuss first. At the end of the day we have both earnt the money. Like others have said we are both a team & most of the money brought in to the house is for household items/future planning.

The money left at the end of the month goes in to a join savings account - this is spent on holidays, decorating, wedding, kids etc.

Izadora

TeamPlum wrote: »

So he often has to be bailed out, which he doesn't pay back, despite him earning more money than you (and presumably spending more) - why not just have a joint account?

JJG has it spot on. A separate account makes life easier in terms of paying bills and shared costs but my OH is absolutely rubbish with money so it's safer to leave me in charge of our finances rather than having a proper joint account.

clint_S

Before I got married my OH and me had separate accounts. She needs a lot of saving and I lived in my overdraft, paid for things I couldn't afford and was always living in the red. Since we got married we only have joint accounts. Amazingly Bills get paid on time, which I didn't always do, we have large savings and still go on holiday.

DD265

When OH and myself were preparing to move in together last year, I added him as a joint account holder on one of my existing bank accounts. We each have individual accounts and this joint account. We pay the same amount in to the joint account to cover all bills, rent etc, and what's in our own accounts is our own.

I earn significantly more but I also have significantly higher outgoings so this works well for us. He's better with money than I am, yet I manage the budget for the joint account.