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I'm new to these forums, I need help

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  • datlex
    datlex Posts: 2,252 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Hiya, I'm new to this forum and it's taken me a long time to even get the courage to come on here for some reason but I've had enough and need some sort of support. When I tell family (I speak to my sister) and I just get judgement and end up feeling worse. folk here can be blunt but no one judges

    I have about £8,000 debt on one loan where I'm paying £157 a month. £1.600 on another where I'm paying £50. I opened a credit card recently as I ran out of money first week of the month and now spent nearly £200. what did you spend it on

    I'm saving to pay off a holiday and I'm struggling to pay that.

    I don't know where to begin, I'm sick of having no money but it's all my fault because I overspend. Food costs so muchdepends what you eat and where you shop. Also what you buy for example ready chopped veg is more expensive than lose, people want to socialise and I get bored sitting in so I've got myself into such a mess. Can't you have social evenings at yours?

    I keep looking for other jobs which pay more but I'm on a decent wage so I don't even think that's the problem. It's me. I hate myself so much and can't sleep or sleep too much now as I hate spending so much of my money paying stuff off. Then when I do pay stuff off I get myself in the same mess again.

    I just don't know what to do.

    Sounds like you have a lot of peer group pressure. Why not have a chat with your mates, some of them may be in same boat and all equally afraid to say anything.
    Paid off the last of my unsecured debts in 2016. Then saved up and bought a property. Current aim is to pay off my mortgage as early as possible. Currently over paying every month. Mortgage due to be paid off in 2036 hoping to get it paid off much earlier. Set up my own bespoke spreadsheet to manage my money.
  • Thank you for all your replies. I will do an SOA later this evening and then share. I really need to sort myself out. Even the socialising just doesn't feel worth it anymore.
    I have pretty much left myself spending on credit card because I spent too much at the beginning of the month on going out for drinks and meals etc etc. And probably other things but I'm hoping this SOA (never heard of one until you all suggested it) might open my eyes more.
  • DD265
    DD265 Posts: 2,223 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Homepage Hero Name Dropper
    A SOA - if you're honest filling it in - is definitely an eye opener. There's also a demotivator tool somewhere, so if you had like a coffee (or in my case chocolate) habit, it'll calculate how much it costs you per year etc.

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/demotivator/

    When you're eating out a lot; are those take aways or planned meals or last minute "want to go out?" meals? Meal planning helps us a lot because if you have the food in and ready to be cooked you're less likely to impulsively go out/get a takeaway. If they're planned nights out that's a bit trickier.
  • Bobarella
    Bobarella Posts: 10,824 Forumite
    Savvy Shopper! I've been Money Tipped!
    Welcome to the forums.
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe":D

    Debt neutral :) 27/03/17 from £40k:eek: in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
  • System
    System Posts: 178,349 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Welcome. We're all friends here, and your story is not very different to anyone's - we've all messed up and here we are, but in great company and amongst friends.

    I personally think YNAB has been the best thing for us on a budgeting point of view as i now totally understand where every penny is spent. You do get a months free trial, and I would recommend you do the training. You could use it to help with your SOA as you can import details of your spends from your bank account for last 3 months.

    I'd also really recommend starting a diary in the diary section.

    Good luck and welcome x
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • Hi, it sounds from your posts as if you're a very sociable person. I'd support the idea of getting a second/evening/weekend job in a bar for several reasons:
    1. If you're working, you're earning and less able to spend.
    2. Being busy makes the time pas quicker and would address the issue of boredom.
    3. Working (if you choose the right job) can be a very sociable activity.
    It might be a significant help in changing your spending pattern.

    All the best with your efforts,
    LR
    Save In 2018 #109
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