I'm new to these forums, I need help

Silverrobin

Hiya, I'm new to this forum and it's taken me a long time to even get the courage to come on here for some reason but I've had enough and need some sort of support. When I tell family (I speak to my sister) and I just get judgement and end up feeling worse.

I have about £8,000 debt on one loan where I'm paying £157 a month. £1.600 on another where I'm paying £50. I opened a credit card recently as I ran out of money first week of the month and now spent nearly £200.

I'm saving to pay off a holiday and I'm struggling to pay that.

I don't know where to begin, I'm sick of having no money but it's all my fault because I overspend. Food costs so much, people want to socialise and I get bored sitting in so I've got myself into such a mess.

I keep looking for other jobs which pay more but I'm on a decent wage so I don't even think that's the problem. It's me. I hate myself so much and can't sleep or sleep too much now as I hate spending so much of my money paying stuff off. Then when I do pay stuff off I get myself in the same mess again.

I just don't know what to do.

Wimbrel

You've taken the first step by posting here. There's always a solution and nobody will judge you for past mistakes.

enthusiasticsaver

No magic bullet to getting rid of debt sadly. Has the debt arisen because you overspend regularly or are there assets you can point to which you have bought on credit? Positives are you have realised you cannot continue like this and you have a well paid job.

The solution is obviously to spend less than you earn and look for savings in your budget. You could post an soa as a start. Did you run out of money in the first week after being paid due to paying debt and bills or was it overspending?

Silverrobin

It's from overspending if I'm completely honest. I worked out before food once I paid bills and my two loans (now I have credit card) I have £400 for the month. I don't even know how I end up with nothing. I then find I occasionally get payday loans, this month I really didn't want to so I got a credit card...

MrsSave

I'd start by posting your soa using the following link.

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

Nargleblast

Welcome, silverrobin, you have made a start on sorting out your finances just by recognising you can't go on in this way. Use the link provided above to post a breakdown of your income and expenditure. (If you went to an organisation such as Stepchange to help manage your debts they would need this information any way, so you might as well set it out in black and white now)

When you have posted the SOA (Statement of Affairs) then people on here can suggest ways of cutting back your spending and tackling your debts. You can do this and still have a life, you will just be spending your cash a bit more wisely. You will feel better about yourself as you regain control of your finances.

enthusiasticsaver

Silverrobin wrote: »

It's from overspending if I'm completely honest. I worked out before food once I paid bills and my two loans (now I have credit card) I have £400 for the month. I don't even know how I end up with nothing. I then find I occasionally get payday loans, this month I really didn't want to so I got a credit card...

Cash withdrawals are often the way you end up with nothing which get spent on bits and bobs without you even being aware of it. The odd sandwich or coffee for lunch is £3 or £4 which you think is nothing but adds up to £80 a month if you do it every day. Add in bus fares, newspaper or magazine and the odd trip to the pub and before you know it you have spent £200 or £300 on nothing. Keep a spending diary to record every penny spent.

iolanthe07

I'm saving to pay off a holiday and I'm struggling to pay that.

A bit late for this debt, but for the future try not to borrow money for a holiday. You end up paying out of current income, for maybe years, when the holiday has become just a distant memory. IMHO it is much better to save up for a holiday.

Ebe_Scrooge

Silverrobin wrote: »

I'm saving to pay off a holiday and I'm struggling to pay that. Is this paying off a holiday you've already taken, or are you saving for a future holiday ? If the latter then well done for not taking on further debt to pay for it, but you may need to sacrifice holidays for a couple of years in order to pay off the debts.

Food costs so much Have you tried shopping at Lidl or Aldi ? The prices are way cheaper than the mainstream supermarkets, people want to socialise and I get bored sitting in People will understand if you can't afford to be socialising all the time - at least, real friends will. And there's no need to be bored sitting at home - a second-hand bicycle can be had for £30 or so from lots of charity places, a day out cycling or walking in the countryside costs nothing. OK, it may not be as exciting as skydiving, but it's better than sitting at home.

I keep looking for other jobs which pay more but I'm on a decent wage so I don't even think that's the problem Any chance of some part-time bar work or serving in restaurants in the evenings ? Any sort of part-time work in addition to your regular job will help - just throw every penny extra to the debts.

As others have said, the first step is to prepare an SOA. This will allow you to see clearly where your money is going. There is nearly always room to make savings. If you want to post the SOA here, people will be able to make helpful suggestions.


The bottom line is, it may mean living very frugally for a while, and foregoing a lot of the luxuries. But if the end result is that your debt is cleared then it's a small sacrifice for long-term gains.


I've made a couple of suggestions in your quoted post above, but really an SOA will help a great deal, and allow others here to help. Oh, and none of this is meant to be judgemental, hopefully it'll be taken as constructive suggestions. You've already taken the first - and arguably hardest - step by admitting the problem and asking for help

DD265

Like others have said, the first step is recognising that there's a problem which needs to be addressed and you've done that. The second is posting an SOA, and a previous poster included the link above.

What often happens with a SOA is somebody finds out that they ought to have say £200 left a the end of the month, but they don't. So then you do a spending diary to find out where that £200 is going. You'll also get advice on how to cut down any bills that seem particularly high.

I like the following tools and habits:

1) YNAB - stands for You Need A Budget software. It's not free but it's a great tool and a lot of us on here swear by it. If you join some of the tutorials you may win a free copy.

2) Cash for every day spends - if you can keep to it, using only the cash in your wallet during the week works well. I withdraw the cash at the weekend (this week it was £20) and then if I want to go to the supermarket for nibbles or get lunch out I can, but once that £20 is gone it's gone. I feel like I'm not totally denying myself everything then but I'm seeing the money reduce too.

3) eBay - often reducing debt means increasing income, and I do quite well out of eBay. These days I always get 100 free listings a day so I just relist over and over (with the odd minor tweak) until things sell.

National_Debtline

Hi Silverrobin and welcome to the forum. It's good to see you have felt able to post on here and share your experience. I'm sorry that you've not found family members particularly supportive when you've tried to open up on these issues with them; I think that reflects more on them than it does on you.


As others have said above, we shouldn't pretend that there's any quick fix, especially if you attribute some of this overspending to a need to cheer yourself up, which is a very common phenomenon.


Getting that SOA completed (see link further above) would be a good start; you can then look at it and judge how far apart you think your current spending patterns are from a realistic and achievable slimmed-down budget, and take it from there. You'll get plenty of support in these quarters.


Dennis
@natdebtline