Debt Problem With My Ex

CrowCrow

IMO the boat has long passed for her to report you for fraud. She has effectively given you permission after the fact. If anything, she is appears to be skirting with blackmail herself.

I would write a letter/email to her saying you will be stopping payments until she presents you with a breakdown. Offer to pay for a credit report for her so she can work out which debts you caused.

Proxima_Centauri

I agree, you need to somehow (?) get a written statement of the exact amount owed, otherwise you could be effectively writing her an ongoing blank cheque!

HEROWHENZERO

Hi ml,

I'm too a compulsive gambler, 6 months into recovery. From what I can gather from reading above, it would appear that she is taking advantage of the situation. I totally understand your moral duty to pay the money back, making amends for our wrong doings is an inportant part of recovery.

Personally I would stop paying her until she provides evidence for the original debt. Did she know about every loan you took out in her name? If so then there has been no fraud committed in my opinion.

changeforbetter

I've also known the gambling beast in my financial past, so no judgement here either ml.

IMO great advice above from many, though I'd possible be even stronger in terms of where you should be thinking. It seems your partner was on very shaky ground admitting you took loans in her name - admitted by the fact she's now getting your payments and complicit in the first place (if what you say is correct). If I was her, I'd think twice admitting that in any legal setting!

As above, she's shown no paperwork, and I don't think she could even prove it was you who took out the loans etc (as they were in her name)? How does that stand up in court?

Morally, you feel wrong, but she is potentially much worse, as she's using it to her advantage right now - ponder who would do that to someone?

All round, I would refuse to make any payments and lay all of this as facts at your ex-partner's table. See what she says, and possibly move on, away from one another. Most healthy for both sides, as you've paid a lot of money back despite this, and in reality she would probably be better without you too.

ml1973

Thanks for all the help and advice everyone, much appreciated!!!