Work are annoyed I'm off sick

SilverMist

I shouldn't be surprised but I can't believe how nasty some people can be. You obviously have NO IDEA what having a chronic illness means. I have a severe neurological condition, which causes me intense pressure headaches, severe neck and back pain and am probably looking at major brain surgery to relieve some of this. I have beenoff work since May, struggle to look after my young daughter and have become a miserable, depressed and isolated person. Far from the smiley, happy colleague my workmates knew. But SOMETIMES I feel a bit better, I can visit a cafe or browse the shops, take my daughter to the park. Beyond that I always pay for any activity with horrendous symptoms for a few days. I am having to do drawing and crafts at home so my brain doesn't completely shut down. I'm NOT bedridden but I am nothing like the person I was 6 months ago. I couldn't be at work. I get dizzy, disorientated and have such pain and pressure in my head I want to rip my head off.

What would you suggest I do Yvonne, lay in bed all day making my life worthless until I couldn't take it? Or attempt a new normal life until my meds or an operation helps me?

I didn't ask for this and the OP didn't either. Chronic illness is debilitating, depressing, comes in many forms and until you experience it how the hell can you be so judgemental?

I want to post a thread asking for advice on looking into ill-health retirement so that my colleagues and work (who are being super lovely btw) don't have to wait forever for me, which after 16 years in a job I LOVE makes me very sad. People like you prevent me from doing this because my fragile emotions at the moment would not cope with the suggestion that I'm lying.

Sorry OP, this really made me mad and I've rambled on too long now. I hope you feel better soon and work look after you

Polarbeary

SilverMist wrote: »

I shouldn't be surprised but I can't believe how nasty some people can be. You obviously have NO IDEA what having a chronic illness means. I have a severe neurological condition, which causes me intense pressure headaches, severe neck and back pain and am probably looking at major brain surgery to relieve some of this. I have beenoff work since May, struggle to look after my young daughter and have become a miserable, depressed and isolated person. Far from the smiley, happy colleague my workmates knew. But SOMETIMES I feel a bit better, I can visit a cafe or browse the shops, take my daughter to the park. Beyond that I always pay for any activity with horrendous symptoms for a few days. I am having to do drawing and crafts at home so my brain doesn't completely shut down. I'm NOT bedridden but I am nothing like the person I was 6 months ago. I couldn't be at work. I get dizzy, disorientated and have such pain and pressure in my head I want to rip my head off.

What would you suggest I do Yvonne, lay in bed all day making my life worthless until I couldn't take it? Or attempt a new normal life until my meds or an operation helps me?

I didn't ask for this and the OP didn't either. Chronic illness is debilitating, depressing, comes in many forms and until you experience it how the hell can you be so judgemental?

I want to post a thread asking for advice on looking into ill-health retirement so that my colleagues and work (who are being super lovely btw) don't have to wait forever for me, which after 16 years in a job I LOVE makes me very sad. People like you prevent me from doing this because my fragile emotions at the moment would not cope with the suggestion that I'm lying.

Sorry OP, this really made me mad and I've rambled on too long now. I hope you feel better soon and work look after you

Hi Silvermist! thanks for posting.

I'm sorry you are going through that. Unfortunately, some people will not understand until they get sick. One in five people has a disability (which may be hidden) and of the likelihood of this disabilities increases with age.

Like you, I have good days and bad. Today I'm sitting in the garden and I'm hoping to have a little walk in the sun and pop to my local cafe. I'm sorry if it's too much information but I've been to the loo 7 times since I woke up, I have cramps and I'm taking several types of medication. I also feel exhausted which is why I'm pacing myself.

I wish I was well enough to work - I'm on stat sick pay as I've said - it's not like I'm choosing to screw work over by having a little jolly! HR even said sadly, "if this had happened a couple of weeks from now once you had passed your probationary period you would have had 1 month full pay and one month half pay." Tell my body to wait to have surgery

Keep your chin up Silvermist I'm so glad you have nice colleagues and I send you my very best wishes.

SilverMist

Thanks Polarbeary, sorry I hijacked your thread! Hope the sun makes you feel a bit better ��

FBaby

'Chronic illness' means nothing in relation to work. I suffer from severe hayfever which I've had for now over 20 years. It's pretty chronic BUT Thank God for medicine, I have found a treatment that means you wouldn't know I have it. Even I forget until I miss one pill and within 24 hours, I feel like the worse possible cold is coming down to me again. Therefore my long term condition doesn't affect my ability to work in anyway.

This is not the point of this thread anyway. What it comes down to is whether they believe you really are unable to work, or whether you are using the situation to suit you. I expect it will depend on the intervention you actually had. If a few member of staff had it themselves, or their mum/partner/friend and were back to work after 1 week, then I expect some people have made some comments about how it seems to take much longer for you. Of course, this could have been started by people who don't have a clue and it is therefore totally unfair.

My advice is, remain off if you really don't think you can work and start as soon as you are able to. Keep in touch with them about progress in the meantime and make sure you give 100% when you are back. Hopefully your eagerness and productivity upon your return means that it will be all forgotten. Just try as much as you can to avoid taking more time off afterwards though.

Nicki

OP's consultant provided a fit note advising she remain off work for 4 weeks after the surgery which suggests this is the normal recovery period. If a shorter period was often possible she would have been signed off for a shorter period and the note extended if that was needed. If I read the OP correctly she's one week into that four week period and therefore only a few days post surgery so Yvonne's attack on her was wholly unjustified as is any suggestion that her colleagues know she's milking this based on their experiences of others with the same condition.

Get well soon OP.