Child Support from Ex-Husband

raelill

Hi
I'm hoping you can help. I am mid-divorce and my ex and I have agreed to go to mediation to sort out finances and custody of the children to try to avoid extortionate legal bills. We had our first joint mediation yesterday.

During the conversation the mediator asked about our income. I currently have two jobs and receive tax credits which means I receive about £1500 income a month.

My ex used to run a business converting campervans from a workshop in the garden of the marital home. Since the separation he has closed the business. He told the mediator that he is currently doing odds and sods, working for friends and as a contractor on seasonal jobs. He said that this month he has only earned £100.

My question is that I thought that he had to show that he is able to support himself financially. He has no intention of finding a full time job and at the moment I have no hope of receiving any time of child support from him.

If he does not have an income can the courts ask me to sell the house to pay his part of the equity in the house? He is saying he wants it so he can get his own place but if he's not earning he has no way of paying mortgage or rent. I feel like I'm still supporting him even though he's been gone for nearly a year.

I'm trying very hard to keep the mediation pleasant so didn't want to say this time round "Shouldn't you just get a full time job", but it's getting very hard to bite my tongue when I work two jobs to support myself and my two children.

Any advice would be gratefully received.
Thanks
Rae

hec2308

I don't know the legal ins and outs (and I fear that a lot of it comes down to luck of the draw with mediators/judges etc.) but I can certainly say that in my parents' divorce my mother was expected to go out and get a full time job, whilst she was awarded a certain level of maintenance from my father it was deliberately designed to not be enough for her to live on alone and therefore she had to go out and find work. So in your case this would absolutely work in your favour. However this was built into the court order and I understand that you are hoping to avoid court (which I completely commend by the way!)

I also believe that he is entitled to request that the family home be sold, but in my case it was the judge who decided this as well as the split of equity, so again it was at a stage where it had already come to court. My father didn't want to sell the house but my mother needed to in order to afford general day to day life while she was searching for a job, moving home etc. and it was decided in my mother's favour.

Ames

If you're working and he isn't doesn't it make more sense for him to stay in the marital home and be primary carer of the children?

JReacher1

Ames wrote: »

If you're working and he isn't doesn't it make more sense for him to stay in the marital home and be primary carer of the children?

So you are advocating that the OP doesn't live with her children anymore because her husband won't get a job?

I don't think the fact her husband is lazy is a good enough reason to part a mother from her own children

unforeseen

It's good enough when it's the other way round!

TBagpuss

The court has the power to order that the house is sold, if the Judge considers that that will result in a fair outcome.

His share in the proceeds may well be less than 50% of the equity depending on all circumstances.

A court would also have the power to defer a sale uintil a future date (possibly when the childrnre leave school) if they felt that as appropriate, and was needed to ensure a secure home for the schildren, so it will be relevant to conside rwhat your 9and the child/children's housing needs are, and what you can afford - i.e. could you get a mortgage in your sole name to release him from the current morgage, could you raise any lump sum over the amount needed to clear tha mortgage.

A Judge can consider his earning capacity as well as his current income in reaching a financial setttlment, so while his choic enot to work (or to work only in very low paid jobs) will make a differnce to child support, in terms o the settlement btwen you and him, the court is entitled to consider what hecould earn, as well as what he is earning.

Tammykitty

JReacher1 wrote: »

So you are advocating that the OP doesn't live with her children anymore because her husband won't get a job?

I don't think the fact her husband is lazy is a good enough reason to part a mother from her own children

Her husband did have a job converting campervans from a garage attached to the house.


I am guessing that because he was the one at home, he did most of the childcare and fetching and carrying.


If he still had the marital home he would still be working.


The OP does not give any indication of the timing of the spilt.


If I was the husband I would be going for resident parent status and keeping the marital home.


OP - regardless of the reasons etc, you husband has lost his, his business, his wife and living with his children.


If he is making enough to live on, but not enough to pay maintenance, then you won't get any maintenance.

Kayalana99

Not sure meditation will work in this situation regarding the house. He wants the house sold and you don't, the middle ground is you buying him out I guess.

Not to put a damper on the situation as I'm sure meditation works in other cases, but bottom line is one person wants it sold and the other wants to live in it.

You have 3 options;

Sell the house
Keep living in the house
Buy him out the house

Now if you choose to keep living in it - then will he take you to court? Would it be easier to sell and get this over with now?

I have no suggestions on what you should do, but having someone trying to keep the peace on an endless debate when really you need to make a decision on the above. The ball is essentially in your court, as if you want to keep living their then the ball is in his court if he wants to take you to court....

Sorry I hope that makes sense

Gavin83

JReacher1 wrote: »

So you are advocating that the OP doesn't live with her children anymore because her husband won't get a job?

I don't think the fact her husband is lazy is a good enough reason to part a mother from her own children

But it's ok for the man not to live with his children anymore? What's the difference?

Tammykitty wrote: »

If I was the husband I would be going for resident parent status and keeping the marital home.

In his position I'd be doing the same too. As it's equally his home, he was running a business from there and it seems he may have been doing the day to day care I think he'd have a good chance of being awarded it as well.

Any reason you can't move out OP? You seem to be upset that he doesn't have a job but him moving out has effectively taken the job away from him. Quickest way for him to get a job is to move back in and pick up where he left off.

Also how old are the children?

cyantist

My first thought was he may be purposefully not be getting another job so he can apply for full custody. Given you're working two jobs and he could work flexibly from your home this seems to make the most sense.

baby_lemonade

Not sure if the children are old enough to decide for themselves but it would make more sense if they were to live with him in the marital home, where he can work from home and look after them. OP could then go do her 2 jobs and earn her own money as she wishes and pay maintenance.