Accepting new job whilst pregnant

Undervalued

FBaby wrote: »

I think the key part is that she really makes an impression in the first few months. They are much more likely to be more accepting of the situation if she is showing to be honest, hard working, co-operative, giving the extra mile, etc... than if she starts asking for flexibility, time off (especially without telling them it's for scans), calling in sick (especially not telling them it is pregnancy related) and just not performing well.

Yes indeed.

Although it is unlawful to discriminate against an employee because of pregnancy they can't of course be guilty of this if they don't know!

Polarbeary

PersianCatLady wrote: »

To be frank, my fear is that they won't offer her permanent contract due to the pregnancy.
TBH if I was the employer I wouldn't offer her the contract either. Unfortunately it is this sort of thing that makes employers wary of employing women of child-bearing age.

But millions of women aged 18-40 are employed, especially at the larger companies and in the public sector.

jamesperrett

Kynthia wrote: »

Until the first scan there's a significant chance that things might not be all good. Unfortunately I've known a few people to miscarry in the first 9 weeks or turn up to the scan to find things stopped a few weeks before or never really got started properly. Sorry to being this bad stuff up but it's very common. If she isn't too sick and isn't needing lots of appointments then I'd be tempted to hold off informing them. However if she thinks people will suspect or they're a supportive large employer then it might be good to tell them up front, as it's less stressful than hiding it.

Sadly, from personal experience, I would have to agree with this as we lost our first at around 9 weeks. It is common, especially with first pregnancies, for the embryo to never actually develop (known as a blighted ovum). Fortunately most people conceive successfully a few months afterwards. In certain circumstances such as being in the care of a fertility clinic you may be able to have a scan at 6 weeks which would give more peace of mind.

Kynthia

PersianCatLady wrote: »

To be frank, my fear is that they won't offer her permanent contract due to the pregnancy.
TBH if I was the employer I wouldn't offer her the contract either. Unfortunately it is this sort of thing that makes employers wary of employing women of child-bearing age.

Would you illegally discriminate against disabled workers because they 'might' have more sick days, those who 'might' retire soon because they're in their 50s, someone going through gender reassignment because it 'might' make people uncomfortable, someone of a certain religion because they 'might' want certain times of the year off as annual leave for religious reasons or 'might' not be prepared to cover certain days of the week as overtime/sickness cover/stocktaking, etc.

Until it becomes unacceptable to talk about illegally discriminating against people, such as half the population for half their working life, it will still continue to happen. It takes two to make a baby but only the woman faces such poor treatment. People work and people have families, and maternity leave is such a short period of time in the scheme of these things.

Andrew_Ryan_89

PersianCatLady wrote: »

Some of this post doesn't ring quite true.


In your update you say that "She accepted the job. She accepted it before she knew she was pregnant" but in the first part you say that "We found out last week that she could be pregnant and if so, she'll be about a month or so right now".


It sounds like she knew she was pregnant but she doesn't want to admit it that she took a job when she knows that she will be needing to go on leave in about 8 months.

Just to clarify, when she found out she was pregnant, it was pretty much the same time she accepted the job offer. She was offered it a week or 2 before we had our suspicions about the pregnancy but was negotiating salary.

Andrew_Ryan_89

muhandis wrote: »

Personally speaking, I wouldn't tell anyone anything about my pregnancy until after the first scan confirms that the baby is growing as expected and that there aren't any obvious concerns.

Legally, you don't need to tell your employer of your pregnancy and intention to take maternity leave until the 15th week before your baby is due, regardless of where you work. Company policy can't override that.

Plus, assuming this is her first pregnancy, it most likely won't show until well into the second trimester. So there's a long way to go yet.

Sorry if I sound negative but I hope you have also kept in mind the fact that as many as 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriages. So I myself wouldn't prolong my agony in the current job and let go of my new job this early.

In your place I would change jobs and delay informing the employer until everything was confirmed to be proceeding well and it was beginning to show.

Good luck.

Thank you, you're not being negative at all! You can hope for the best but there is reality and practicalities to deal with. At the moment, only the 2 of us know about the pregnancy and we are not planning on telling anyone until the scan goes through well.

Andrew_Ryan_89

Kynthia wrote: »

Would you illegally discriminate against disabled workers because they 'might' have more sick days, those who 'might' retire soon because they're in their 50s, someone going through gender reassignment because it 'might' make people uncomfortable, someone of a certain religion because they 'might' want certain times of the year off as annual leave for religious reasons or 'might' not be prepared to cover certain days of the week as overtime/sickness cover/stocktaking, etc.

Until it becomes unacceptable to talk about illegally discriminating against people, such as half the population for half their working life, it will still continue to happen. It takes two to make a baby but only the woman faces such poor treatment. People work and people have families, and maternity leave is such a short period of time in the scheme of these things.

Agreed. I used to work for a large professional service company and when recruiting the manager (who was not very experienced) would openly say to us that he never hired X person because of his age and he wouldn't fit in the team. Another lady who was coming back fro maternity was discouraged in taking up her previous role and pushed to something more "friendly" for new mothers.

Savvy_Sue

Generally my colleagues tell their line manager at an early stage that they're pregnant, so that we can do a risk assessment as soon as possible. Obviously it depends on the line of work. It has also helped if someone has problems early on.

pinkshoes

I was in exactly the same position as your girlfriend. I got offered a really good job (hated the bullying culture in the current employment), £12k pay rise, then the next day found out I was pregnant.

It was a complete surprise, and I only took the test to rule out pregnancy, as I assumed I was late due to stress!!

I decided to turn the job down as it would not be fair on the new company as I would be going on maternity during a major project that I would be leading.

I worked in a male dominated environment, and many of my male managerial friends were quite clear that they would not be impressed if a female did that to them, and would resent employing them!

I guess it depends in your role how easily replaceable you are, and how much inconvenience it would cause.

Good luck to your girlfriend.