Getting strangers at a function to talk to each other

TBagpuss

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Do you have to have a seating plan at all? Couldn't you just let people sit where they want, rather than enforced mingling?

I think this depends a bit on the people and mix - it can mean that you end up with little unwelcoming cliques, and issues with seating, if the numbers which fit round the tables don't match well with the number of people in different groups. (e.g if you have 10 people who all know you, and each other, but your tables seat 8, then you end up with two people unable to sit with the group. If you do a table plan you can put 4 or 5 of that group at one table, and 6 or 5 on another, and everyone gets to be with some people they know and so some they don't)

I'd suggest that you let people get on with it - you could do an optional quiz - also do your table plan carefully - if you have a shy relative / friend, put them with people they already know,don't stick them on a table full of strangers. If you have a friend you know is very sociable and outgoing, that's the person to put on a mixed table, as they are much more likely to feel comfortable introducing themselves and starting conversations.

Think about which of your friends are likely to get along with each other, even f they don't know each other.

Another, very simple ice-breaker would be to offer crackers - you need to pull the cracker so there's a ready-made opportunity to speak to your neighbour

Georgiegirl256

tea_lover wrote: »

Surely the people who would happily speak to others will do so anyway, and the people who won't would find this the most uncomfortable thing ever?

Yes, exactly!

Think the idea in the OP is one of the cringiest things. Just let people talk if they want to and not if they don't. Don't make things uncomfortable by making people play games.

hazyjo

The questions and games sounds horrendous to me. Not my cuppa at all. I've sat on various wedding tables over the years and usually end up having a great ol' time.


OP, are you a naturally insecure/awkward person? Do you find it hard? I wonder if your own insecurities are making you worry unduly. I should imagine most of the attendees will have been to weddings/cruises/parties with very similar set-ups.


You might as well put a board up with 'suggested conversation topics' - awkward!


Jx

silvercar

Surely adults can work out how to start conversations for themselves.

How they know the bride and groom would be a start!

theoretica

A lot of thought into the seating plan is probably your best plan. I admire for this what used to be standard, which was splitting couples - if people aren't sitting next to their partner they are less likely to just talk to them and conversation is more likely to become general around the table.

Torry_Quine

theoretica wrote: »

A lot of thought into the seating plan is probably your best plan. I admire for this what used to be standard, which was splitting couples - if people aren't sitting next to their partner they are less likely to just talk to them and conversation is more likely to become general around the table.

Splitting up couples sounds awful.

LilElvis

If you're inviting people you know from different periods of your life then they have accepted with the knowledge that they will only know a portion of those attending. Forced interaction with games and quizzes is, in my view, totally cringe-worthy and patronising to adults.

I've enjoyed several large functions with my husband's family - weddings, anniversaries and birthdays - though I've only met many of them on those occasions. I'm English, they're German - I speak nothing of their language bar a few random words and 95% of my husband's relations, and their friends, are the same. Good food, lots of schnapps and a positive attitude has seen me partying with them into the small hours.

If they've accepted your invitation then they are going to be looking forward to an enjoyable day and will be more inclined to make an effort to ensure that they, and you, have one.

Don't over-think it!

Elsewhere

Nicki wrote: »

I agree with others that you can expect people to be sufficiently well rounded socially to be able to talk to each other over dinner.

If you are really keen on having an ice breaker though, you could do something along the lines of a competition which makes people talk to each other. Along the lines of: find the best man at our wedding, find the friend who broke his leg at a barn dance, find a friend who doesn't speak English as their first language, who has written a book, etc etc. Though expect most people not to engage in the game and don't try to force it or be disappointed if no one has completed the task by the end of the meal. Personally though if I were at a party and this kind of thing was foisted on me, I'd probably only make a token effort with it, as although it could be a conversation starter, it would also make conversations much shorter and formulaic.

My husband and I did exactly this sort of quiz for our joint sixtieth; I'd say 90% of people actively took part in the game (and the other 10% were dragged in, LOL) and most people completed the quiz. You need to keep the questions very light-hearted and not too obvious - and not embarassing. For instance, the question about me was "who collects ice-cube trays?" - mind you, some people might not want to admit to that

Ours was a buffet-style party with no fixed seating, so I suppose it was easier to mingle.