Affordable Budget?

haras_nosirrah

hi op. please don't leave - there are people here who can help you if you let them

part of the problem is you say your budget and step changes differ by a large amount but we have no idea what the amounts are. some people think spending £500 or £600 a month on food for 2 is reasonable wheras most would say £250 is more likely.

If your equity is as low as you say you will struggle with a secured loan and equity release is also unlikely to be an option. consolidating debt is unlikely to work unless you can get your spending under control

i appreciate you have mental health issues and this does make things harder but the reality of the situation is the debt cannot be helping. In your position where there is not a lot of equity, it is expensive to maintain and expensive to heat I really think selling the house, clearing the debt and moving to rented where someone else worries about maintenance is going to be the best thing for you. surely it is better than working far into retirement just to keep a house that it sounds as though is too big for you anyway. You would then be free of step change and the debt companies in your advanced years. if you have little equity i am guessing you have a large mortgage which if on interest only is also a ticking bomb.

without a statement of affairs we are stabbing in the dark - this would really help us to help you but from what you have said i would sell and rent a nice modern and energy efficient 2 bed somewhere not out in the sticks so the debt issues are gone. keeping the house is just going to prolong the debt

Grumpelstiltskin

I deliberately didn't reply last night because we are banging our heads against a brick wall.


We are not telling the OP what he wants to hear and he has no intention of listening to us.


I wonder if his GP knows he is smoking? He says it is an addiction, well in that case it is his GP who can help him kick it.


He doesn't want to bare his soul with a SOA so what can we do?

poppasmurf_bewdley

Grumpelstiltskin wrote: »

I deliberately didn't reply last night because we are banging our heads against a brick wall.


We are not telling the OP what he wants to hear and he has no intention of listening to us.


I wonder if his GP knows he is smoking? He says it is an addiction, well in that case it is his GP who can help him kick it.


He doesn't want to bare his soul with a SOA so what can we do?

I started thinking this yesterday morning. If the bloke really wanted help, he wouldn't have hesitated to get his SOA on here, but he was looking for any excuse not to do anything that was suggested, or twisted around what was said by some and took the hump.

After all - he's retired. So it's not as if he hasn't got the time.

Now he's thrown his toys out of the pram. We didn't tell him what he wanted he hear - that there's a magic bullet which will solve all his financial problems whilst still allowing him to overspend and live above his means.

Some people just can't be helped.

determined_new_ms

Hi op - I read your thread before I went to the allotment today and have been mulling over my thoughts and what I wanted to say to you. Firstly I want to let you know everyone who has posted has done so with kindness in their hearts and genuinely wanting to offer you some help. I know how easy it is to take the judgements of others critically, but try to take them as they are intended.

Some of us have been on these boards for a very long time and have seen many posts like yours over the years.

Some struggled with the changes suggested, wanted really to continue with the lifestyle they thought they deserved (the reality is we all have to cut our cloth accordingly not live to the lifestyle we think we should have) and then later on some months later there might be a follow up that things have gone from bad to worse and they still don't want to change their lifestyle.

Other's have taken the suggestions and really drunk the koolaid and we have then watched them slay their debt at a phenomenal rate.

And others - most to be fair - struggle, make incremental progress and slowly but surely get there. I hope you will be in this latter group. I myself was initially the in the first, between Jan-Nov 2010 was the second and then after that sloped into the latter.

The advice offered is only through our own hard battles within the war on debt, we're as pleased as punch we've made these lifestyle changes and want to help others so their journey is a little less painful. Sadly we all have to learn our own lessons and often it's the hard way! I am at quite the extreme end of being frugal - we spend between £150-180 pm on all groceries including cleaning products and about 2 bottles of wine and 2 bottles of cider every 2 weeks, for 2 adults and a 3 year old still in nappies at night. Believe me we eat well, have meat everyday, always have a cake in the larder so we can have a cheeky slice when we fancy & have more than the recommended 5 a day. We probably get a take away once a month.

I have just embarked on a challenge to buy nothing new for a year. I'm just over 2 months into it and loving it. Everything I need can be either got second hand, done without or substituted for something else I either have or can get second hand or borrow! I am not advocating everyone do this! In fact my other half is not on board with it, but that's fine! His spending money is his, mine is mine. It is extreme but to me it's a hobby and something I enjoy, I absolutely love being as resourceful as I can and having the least impact on the world I can so it's a pleasure not a chore. And by making these changes I have been able to take a part time job at a 1/4 of the salary I was on 2 years ago after a year of being without work or benefits.

Ok now for my advice! Please please please do not consolidate with a secured loan. This is honestly the worst option. The likelihood is without making lifestyle changes in regards to your economics you will end up in exactly the same situation, probably worse, and could risk losing your home.

Have you considered warden assisted housing? Some are really nice, low rent, and you have someone on hand to offer some support. The downside is you of course share the communal areas with other residents and this can be hard for some. But still something to consider? You could sell up your house, pay off your debts and then get somewhere secure to live.

Would you consider taking on a lodger? Bit of a ball ache to live with someone else, but you could probably bring in £400pm from doing it.

Your depression would be helped by doing some of the things you can to address your financial problems. I don't say this lightly as I do understand the obstacles people with MH issues face - I work supporting people with poor mental health and my daughter has a serious mental health issue. Many people I have worked with have given up smoking and rather than it impacting negatively on their MH they have reported the opposite! The sense of achievement that they can do it, increases in good health and finances all impact positively on depression.

You could use your time doing some hobbies rather than watching tv/being on the internet (both known to have negative impact on our wellbeing). At your age you must have so many skills - skills I sincerely wish I had! Do you have any gardening experience? Could you devote some time to gardening? I have been growing veg this year and so far have grown & eaten over £200 worth of veg and probably spent £50 on seeds/plants/compost. Next year it will be considerably less as I still have lots of seeds left and am making my own compost now. Even if you don't have the knowledge right now. you can learn it. I have been interested in growing veg for 1 year now and my skills have increased so much from being a novice. I'm spending a lot of my time either gardening or learning more about gardening so am spending a lot less in shops & buying stuff. And I can't tell you how good it feels to see my produce growing!

Can you brew some wine? I've just racked up a demijohn of blackberry wine. Cost is pence! I got demijohns and equipment off of freecylce & a few bits at the bootfair. The yeast, nutrient, sterilising powder and camdem tablets cost me £6.50 in wilkinsons and I won't need to get anymore before next summer. Other than that I'm using foraged fruits and 1 1/2 bags of sugar (49p a bag in Aldi/Lidl).

In terms of shopping I find if I go to the supermarket once a fortnight instead of weekly and buy enough bread and milk & freeze, tinned fruit for when the fresh has run out then I spend a lot less. I spend around £60 and keep £10-20 for any things I run out of. In reality I usually just go without or use something else as long as we have bread and milk and fruit! I freeze everything so nothing gets wasted. It has taken me many years to get to this point so I wouldn't expect anyone at the beginning to want to take on such extreme methods! Going over to the old style board is a good suggestion, there are loads of tips and advice, have a look around if it inspires you try it, if not leave it. The grocery challenge is a good one. The advice is knock your grocery bill down by £10 or £20 per month and over time you can be totally ninja at keeping your grocery bill down to the £200 pm mark.

In terms of smoking - of course my best advice to you is to quit. It's the single best thing you can do to improve your health and wellbeing and prolong your quality of life later on. However I understand if right now that isn't what you want to do. So can you look to swapping to rolling tobacco to reduce costs? Chances are you'll easily be able to find someone who sells tobacco to further reduce the cost.

All of my advice is just that. Take what you want from it, leave what you don't and know it comes from a good place.

Don't be reluctant to post up your statement of affairs as people will make suggestions on how it can be reduced, but with everything you are an adult and you can say yes and take the suggestions on or say no and blow what anyone else thinks. There are guidelines online about average budget rates/categories which you can fiddle with to eek out a bit more room in your budget for other areas.

Sorry about war & peace! But good luck x

elsien

poppasmurf_bewdley wrote: »

If the bloke really wanted help, he wouldn't have hesitated to get his SOA on here, .

I don't think that's necessarily the case. I'd be wary of posting an SOA on here because of some of the reactions I've seen other people get. Some responses are helpful, others less so and if you're already feeling fragile then it can be a step too far.
There are ways of suggesting that people may be avoiding some of the issues without getting overly personal or questioning everything the OP says. Some posters (this is not aimed at anyone in particular) have yet to grasp this.

Money_saving_maniac

Anoneemoose wrote: »

I have just really seen the comment about the temperatures and the thing that stood out to me was "I've already had one stroke and don't want another!!".......yet you smoke?:huh:

None of your business mate, you're not his keeper, at his age he can make his own decisions.

Anoneemoose

Money_saving_maniac wrote: »

None of your business mate, you're not his keeper, at his age he can make his own decisions.

Totally agree, and I'm wasn't 'having a go', I was just genuinely confused at the fact that OP was so adamant he didn't want to have another stroke, yet then said he smoked. Oh and I know it's not easy to stop before you say that...I did it myself cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant and it was hell. Worth it though in the end.

curlytop12

there's been some great advice offered here, but again it boils down to...you can not help anyone who does not want to help themselves.


Hopefully others can take some of these ideas and put them to use, I can't think of one the OP was going to try, such a shame.