Living with a sufferer of OCD

.j.e.j

How old is the boy?

madwomanintraining

.j.e.j wrote: »

How old is the boy?

He is nearly 17

madwomanintraining

Waves and Smiles - thank you for taking the time to share your experience of OCD with me, I really appreciate it as I am desperate to hear that people do actually recover from this awful illness and manage to lead a normal life as at the moment I cannot see him ever having a normal life like other people his age. He is in a bad place at the moment as he is off college for the summer holidays so has plenty of time to worry about things. His social life is virtually nil now as he doesn't want to go out the house and friends he had have given up on him. He has introduced more rituals to his day as he is saying he is afraid he won't succeed in life if he doesn't. It's just so sad to see him suffering and not being able to actually help him cure this.

mellymoo74

Mad woman
Be very careful to not encourage the rituals by doing them to calm his anxiety.
WaS is very good at explaining mental health issues, much better than I am.

My OH has severe OCD and anxiety his rituals vary from hanging clothes up in a certain order and cleaning himself in a certain order
To not being able to leave the house without ensuring all items are switched off and unplugged. To my having to take a walkie-talkie to walk the dogs (singly) during the day and round the block.

Not being able to soothe the little voice that tells him if he doesn't do x I will leave him, the dogs ad cats will die and it WILL BE ALL HIS FAULT leads to temper tantrums, panic attacks etc.

It is very tempting to take a walkie talkie out with you, allow the housechecking to help stop the anxiety because it is terrible to witness DON'T

Has he spoken to GP to get on the waiting list for CBT?
They don't do many sessions on the NHS but if it's fairly recent it should help break the cycle

Jamiesmum

Would your son like someone to talk too who also suffers from OCD? I'm 25, suffered since the age of 8. Cleanliness/routines/fear and mega anxiety.

Past 2 years I've managed to get a grip on it somewhat. I can control myself better though not completely.

Thing is, no matter how irrational it may seem to people, it's our reality. We don't even understand why we do the things we do.

One thing to give you some hope though is I've been diagnosed for years, I have still managed to work for the past 10 years, drive a car, have a home, a child, a partner of 8 years, I can socialize and even occasionally have people IN my home. It's never stopped me from living a life like everyone else except my brain is always grinding.

OCD is near on impossible to control or understand, it's just important not to judge. To be honest, I don't think you can help him really, except not questioning him. I remember feeling rubbish at the age of 10/11 when my parents were getting mad at me for covering everything in tissue. Toothbrush, knife & fork, computer mat, taps ! It drove them nuts as they didn't get why. But nor did I. I just couldn't put my skin to something someone else had touched.

Luckily I'm over the tissue stage now, I have bleach. But my routines are the same, the thoughts in my head, the constant over thinking, worrying, panicking. The brain never switches off.

Lamentation

What is your son's attitude to his illness? Does he accept he has an issue, is he open about it and is he amenable to getting help for it?

This website has helpful information. I viewed it for the content on Anxiety (which underpins OCD anyway) and found the concept of being 'tricked' into perpetuating the suffering very insightful.

He also admires Claire Weekes whose book I've also read and which also explains who the original anxiety is magnified by a second fear - the fear of fear.

I am not allowed to post links to website but it is a US website called 'anxiety coach'.


MSE posters have recommended to me for my anxiety the following UK websites which also have resources for OCD, including publications, helplines, reduced cost therapy and information for carers as well as sufferers.

No Panic
Anxiety UK

madwomanintraining

Hi Lamentation He accepts he has an illness but he is reluctant to get help with it because he says he is comfortable with doing rituals most of the time, as they make him feel safer. There are may days though when it all feels too much for him and he says he has nothing to get out of bed for and he is exhausted with it all. I do worry that when he eventually gets an appointment for help that he will refuse it.

madwomanintraining

Jamiesmum - thank you for your reply and for sharing your experience especially Quote One thing to give you some hope though is I've been diagnosed for years, I have still managed to work for the past 10 years, drive a car, have a home, a child, a partner of 8 years, I can socialize and even occasionally have people IN my home. It's never stopped me from living a life like everyone else except my brain is always grinding.
It really helps to hear that people do manage this illness and live a good quality life.