Entering my teenager in a local/national maths competition

FBaby

Is anyone watching 'child genius'? I find it amazing how well the kids seem to cope with the pressure their parents put them under. Maybe it is because they are so clever that they are managing to find the skills to do so, or maybe it is because although pushy, the parents are also very loving and supportive when they don't get to the top. I was pleasantly surprised how caring one of the most pushy dad was when his son didn't make it to the final. I was also pleasantly surprised to see how humble these kids came across, certainly not showing signs of the arrogance we often associate with high intelligence.

It's made me see that being a pushy parent doesn't forcibly means that the child becomes a nervous wreck or a nose in the air brat. Of course, that's going by what the programme was showing.

splishsplash

FBaby wrote: »

Excelling at Maths doesn't make you a geek or nerd. My understanding of the terms geek and nerd differ from yours then. DD is a natural mathematician, got a Gold award at the Maths challenge and expected A* or distinction at her GCSEs Maths/Further Maths, but is also part of the 'popular' group and looks/acts nothing like what is seen as a 'nerd'. You've missed the very point I was making. There are two boys who do fall under that stereotypical category, and are very happy to be so, but again, they are not excluded and often invited to join in. DD gets along great with both of them. Times have changed thankfully!

My point is that those terms are no longer pejorative but are now labels to be proud of. Popularity and geekiness/nerdiness are no longer mutually exclusive, as the poster I was originally responding to suggested.

arbrighton

peachyprice wrote: »

OP doesn't really consider what his children want when he comes up with these ideas for them.

Very true this time last year he was asking how to get his daughter into Oxford or Cambridge (didn't seem to mind which) but oddly not her twin brother.

OP, stop pushing and being a helicopter parent.

FBaby

Sorry splish my response was to jej in support of your post but yes would hedge made more sense to quite his rather than yours!

Spendless

Why are so many people getting their knickers in a twist about entering a maths competition? Children who dance frequently enter comps as do singers and musicians and to a lesser extent those that act. Sports either as a team or as an individual have competition in them all the time.

Neither of mine would be interested in a maths competition, but if I thought they were good enough and likely to be interested, why shouldn't I make enquiries as to where any took place and what was involved?

hazyjo

If comparing to sport or music, surely by around 15 she'd make her own decision - I can't imagine a parent saying they were thinking of entering her into anything. I think she'd be the one already pursuing it in some way.


My friend has just told her DD that she no longer has to do swimming training/comps if she doesn't want to. She was in tears of happiness. The coach was very pushy, the hours were crazy, my friend's a single mum (working 9-6 five days a week) and was up by 5am to get her to swimming training before work/DD's school, and it was taking up weekends, evenings, costing an absolute fortune, and meant travelling to galas, etc.


If they were under 10, it might be different, but at 15-ish? With exams coming up this year and next year (I expect), I'm not sure I'd be wanting them to get involved with anything other than their studies/workload.


Saying all that, I expect it depends on how much time it'll take up and how far they'd have to travel - as above though, decision #1 is would she want to!


Jx

GlasweJen

In first year at high school (age 11) I entered Scottish maths challenge and got gold, my parents had nothing to do with it.

At parents night that year the head of maths hunted down my mum and asked permission to send me to a European maths competition, mum just signed the permission slip.

I entered the Scottish maths challenge for 6 years and got an award every year.
I went to various European countries for the first 4 years but stopped competing internationally when I finished my standard grades. The prizes were good but I was doing UK maths challenge, Scottish maths challenge and 6 highers and it was a bit much to add travel to that.

The school entered the brightest maths set for UK maths challenge automatically, we were taken to the assembly hall one day and sat the paper as a mock test. This happened in 4th and 5th year and in 6th year when you could drop maths the brightest were still allowed to go along and sit the paper.

Compared to dancing. I started dance at 5 taking majorette and ballet, the dance school sent a list of competitions round and mum would sign a form and drive me there in the right outfit. At 8 I took up tap and again, more forms and driving but the list still came from the dance teacher.

At 17 myself and 2 friends decided to audition for the chorus in the theatre. It was fun but at that stage we took ourselves into Glasgow and home.


What I'm saying is regardless of where the talent lies if your child is at competition level then their teacher/instructor/school will let you know. If they're not then they are probably oblivious to the fact that there are competitions in the UK for maths, science etc as they are not widely known about.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

silvercar wrote: »

Would you say that if her skill area was sport or music?

Lovely that you have found something that she excels at.

Having seen the emotional state of some of those young musicians, I'd agree - let them be kids, enjoying what they do, rather than imposing tests and schedules and extra exams/training unless the kid concerned says that they want to do them (at which point you support them, always remembering that it is their choice to do them and they can stop at any time it isn't fun/pleasurable anymore).

FBaby

I was talking to a very successful man last week, started his own business which flourished and now earning millions, although you wouldn't know it at first appearance. We were talking about her children and aspirations which led us to talk about being naturally competitive (DD is, DS not) and I said that I imagined he was probably born competitive. He said that it wasn't the case at all, that he was pushed all his life by his mum who was extremely competitive, and that to start with, he hated it, but as he became an older teenager and started to know what he wanted to do, it took over and then became second nature. I asked him if he'd wished his mum had left him alone and his answer said that he was forever grateful to his mum as if it wasn't for her inspiring him to be competitive, he wouldn't be where he was now (career wise, but also in his personal life as he is a keen cycling always pushing himself).

I am in two minds about this because I do believe that pushing a child who isn't inclined to be competitive can lead to serious mental issues, but I think that in some instances, it can have the opposite effect. Maybe it's in the way you encourage your child to be competitive, or maybe it depends why the child isn't in the first place, ie. because they really hate the concept of competition, or because they are naturally lazy and can't be bothered but once they get going, they realise that it gives them a quick?

System

FBaby wrote: »

Excelling at Maths doesn't make you a geek or nerd. DD is a natural mathematician, got a Gold award at the Maths challenge and expected A* or distinction at her GCSEs Maths/Further Maths, but is also part of the 'popular' group and looks/acts nothing like what is seen as a 'nerd'. There are two boys who do fall under that stereotypical category, and are very happy to be so, but again, they are not excluded and often invited to join in. DD gets along great with both of them. Times have changed thankfully!

There was a girl at my school who was highly academic straight A* star student, she was also one of the pretty popular girls. So as you say it doesn't always go hand in hand that they'd have to be geeky.