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Choosing right mobile phone for my children

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  • missbiggles1
    missbiggles1 Posts: 17,481 Forumite
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    FBaby wrote: »
    My kids have asked me that! I said I had to be much better organised and prepared for situations when things might not go to plan, so even though I survived, life with mobile phones is sooooo much easier.

    I am certainly not a helicopter mum, always encouraged my kids to be independent and indeed, they travelled on their own in public transport by the time they were 9/10, but being independent doesn't mean not making the best of very convenient modern means.

    Once again, if it's good enough for the older generation who lived their full life without mobile, why should the young generation not do the same?

    I take your point in general about independence but your last sentence doesn't make sense.:)

    Also, if by "being better organised" you mean knowing the bus times and not missing them, is it really an improvement for kids not to bother because they have a mobile and can phone home for a lift?
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,374 Forumite
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    No, because having a phone isn't essential to her going to school on her own, except, perhaps, in your mind.
    No, but my children don't always come straight home after school. They go directly to clubs, out with friends, dental/medical appointments, visit family 1/2 train journey from home and it is nice for me to know what they are up to, what time they will be back, and of course that they can contact me if something unexpected happens just like it is nice to be able to contact my husband and him me, although clearly not essential.
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,374 Forumite
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    I take your point in general about independence but your last sentence doesn't make sense.:)

    Also, if by "being better organised" you mean knowing the bus times and not missing them, is it really an improvement for kids not to bother because they have a mobile and can phone home for a lift?

    Arg sorry for lack of clarity! What I mean is that the older generation have learnt to be independent and get on with life without mobiles and yet still love to use them for the convenience, so to me, the rationale that mobile are not needed as a reason not to have them doesn't stack up!

    As for organisation skills, they have just shifted. How many people who regularly travel away from home now don't rely on their satnav just because they can? I personally hate them and still rather read a map first, but I seem to be in the minority!

    My kids rely on their mobile to organise themselves when it comes to train times for instance, but their mobile isn't yet helping them to get ready for school in the mornings as both my OH and I are long gone to work before they even get up! Actually, fair enough, I think DD uses it as an alarm clock, but she still has to set it up, and it doesn't yet tell her that she needs to make sure not to forget her PE kit!
  • peachyprice
    peachyprice Posts: 22,346 Forumite
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    edited 25 July 2016 at 9:11AM
    No, because having a phone isn't essential to her going to school on her own, except, perhaps, in your mind.

    I don't believe I said it was?

    But it is a useful tool to give her the freedom to be independent, to have a life after school hours, to be able to tell me where she is, to be able to tell me if there is a problem. Sure I could ferry her around as suggested, but how does that teach her to be independent?

    Example: 2 weeks ago she went to a town 30 miles away straight from school, on the way home all trains were cancelled because someone threw themselves under one. She kept in contact by text so that I knew why she wasn't home when expected. No drama, no searching for phone boxes, no panic about having no change, just keeping me updated.

    I really can't see any benefit whatsoever in denying a child the tools to deal with such a situation.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
  • hello007007
    hello007007 Posts: 149 Forumite
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    (friendly) Questions to parents who's children have mobile phones.

    How do you make sure the kids are not calling or in contact with someone dangerous? ie someone who maybe trying to groom them etc...?

    How do you know the kids are not using the phone to do/access things they shouldn't (eg !!!!!!, sending nude picture of themselves etc...)

    If it was just a case of them having a phone so they can only call me or family, thats no problem at all. I'll get them a basic phone, we shall all be happy. But they want a touch screen phone, I would get them this too but it can be greatly misused - thats what I am worried about.

    In my eyes (I maybe right/ I maybe wrong) kids are kids and they will make mistakes because they are kids. I dont mind it when they do make mistakes because thats how they learn but with a phone they can really get hurt, bullied online, groomed etc...
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  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,374 Forumite
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    How do you make sure the kids are not calling or in contact with someone dangerous? ie someone who maybe trying to groom them etc...?
    We had talks about the fact that people are not always what they pretend to be for as long as I remembered. They also had quite some sessions about privacy and the rest at school. When they got a phone, I reminded them of it again and do so again once in a while (now usually get the eyebrow raised and 'yes, we know!). I then always keep an eye on any behavioural change that could alert me to any concerns. It's never been an issue.
    How do you know the kids are not using the phone to do/access things they shouldn't (eg !!!!!!, sending nude picture of themselves etc...)
    If they want to access !!!!!!, so be it, no different to what kids my generation did, but then it was all about the excitement of buying that magazine. I never did though and I don't believe my kids have ever expressed any interest in doing so. Sexuality is not something to be ashamed of in our household. As for sending nude picture of themselves, as above, we talked about this many times. My 16yo has not had a boyfriend yet and has no interest in getting one and my 13yo still think girls are annoying and stay away from them as much as possible, so never come across as a concern.

    Of all my friends who have teenagers and all who have phone, there's not been one instance of a child falling into trouble because they had a mobile phone. There have been some minor issues with girls not being nice to each other, but having a phone is not what triggered it, it was more playground business, but that's it. If you think of the stories we hear on the news compared the many thousands of teenagers with phones in this country, I think it is safe to say that phones are not a dangerous tool anymore than face to face communication.
  • peachyprice
    peachyprice Posts: 22,346 Forumite
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    Firstly you speak to them about the dangers and you let them know that you trust them, so that they know they can come to you if there's anything they are not sure about.

    Secondly you make it a condition that you have the password and that you have the right to check the phone at any time. You soon get bored of the minutiae of a teenagers life:D. I tend to just have a flick through every now and then if I see my daughters phone lying around. However, I think I would become very suspicious and concerned if she started making sure it was with her 24/7 and/or hiding it from me.

    Boys, I never had any problems with, girls the worst than seems to happen is general bitc hing that girls do any way, 'OMG so and so said this about so and so on snapchat' type of thing. But 'grown-ups' are just as capable of that type of behaviour, just look at the posts we get about Facebook ;)

    Only you know your children and whether they are the types to be sending photos of themselves, I know my daughter well enough to know she wouldn't, but I also know some of her friends who probably would!
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
  • Domayne
    Domayne Posts: 623 Forumite
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    Kids these days don't know how good they have it with their smart phones. I remember my first phone

    Siemens_S6_(with_box).JPG

    What a brick! I thought I was so cool though :rotfl:

    You could always get them a smart phone with something small, like 500mb data which doesn't last very long if she is using apps/watching videos and whatnot and when it's gone...Oh well, Wait until next month :)
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  • pickledonionspaceraider
    pickledonionspaceraider Posts: 2,698 Forumite
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    edited 26 July 2016 at 5:42PM
    (
    How do you know the kids are not using the phone to do/access things they shouldn't (eg !!!!!!, sending nude picture of themselves etc...)


    In my eyes (I maybe right/ I maybe wrong) kids are kids and they will make mistakes because they are kids. I dont mind it when they do make mistakes because thats how they learn but with a phone they can really get hurt, bullied online, groomed etc...

    Couldn't agree more


    Anyone who doubts this should read the awful tale of this young girl groomed via facebook chat on her mobile phone - within a fortnight she had been killed and it really is horrific.


    By putting a smart phone into the hands of a child, you could be removing the danger from the surrounding area, but you could be introducing them to danger from the whole world

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3669444/Kayleigh-Haywood-s-killer-jailed-life.html


    and often it doesn't matter how many times you tell teenagers and explain to them the dangers, it is within a teenagers mindframe to 'know better' and think as parents you are full of carp. Even if they appear to be attentive, we have all been their and to think this generation are any different is unrealistic - most of us thought we knew better in teenage years


    On an earlier note, I stand by my point that telling a child to ring their mother in case of being approached by grown men, is terrible advice..... worst case scenario, the mother is going to have to listen to her child being kidnapped or worse, she is not able to triangulate the position of the child or track the mobile phone - so what is the point of ringing mum? should be the Police as the first port of call as they have specialist equipment to track and find!!! I cannot believe that people actually giving such dangerous and dud info to their kids
    With love, POSR <3
  • peachyprice
    peachyprice Posts: 22,346 Forumite
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    On an earlier note, I stand by my point that telling a child to ring their mother in case of being approached by grown men, is terrible advice.....

    OK, try reading that again. Where did I say, anywhere, that anyone advised the girl to ring her mother? No-one TOLD the girl to ring her mother, it is what the girl did in a panic.

    At the end of the day it doesn't really matter who she intended to ring, the sight of her getting her phone out to make a call made them speed off, simple as. At least she had a phone to do that with though, eh?
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
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