Hedge and fence issues?

tiredoflife

Husband has just called to say they are hacking it down now! !!!!!!!s! My family are coming over at the weekend and we cant even have a BBQ without them looking in on us! Utterly utterly !!!!ed off.

tiredoflife

Husband is taking pictures.
We downloaded something on the land registry which showed a red line all around our property and garden. We are semi detached, not joined to them. Am in work in tears. How can a bloody hedge make me so upset and angry!
We are generally on good terms with the neighbours, say hello and small chat. We have been particularly accommodating with their extension and massive air conditioning unit they have lumped on the side of the house, but this is the final straw!

Grenage

Don't get hysterical; it's just a hedge. You can still have your BBQ, and they being able to see you having a BBQ will surely not ruin your day.

DRP

tiredoflife wrote: »

Husband has just called to say they are hacking it down now! !!!!!!!s! My family are coming over at the weekend and we cant even have a BBQ without them looking in on us! Utterly utterly !!!!ed off.

Your neighbour sounds like an !!!!, but if you consider that they have every right to do whatever they want with their own hedge, then this comes down to the short notice they have given you, and the control their dogs once the hedge has gone.

Try not to get angry, and concentrate on the things you can influence - what do you wish to achieve?

You\ve been given some sound advice in this thread, so now you should act on some of it.

in other words, this:

Grenage wrote: »

Don't let this turn into some passive aggressive cold war; just be calm and frank. You can't afford a fence, and have no plans to put one up - you aren't bothered about the loss of the hedge, but they'll obviously need to keep their dogs in their garden somehow.

tiredoflife

I know, I know. Husband has told me to calm down, its just a hedge. A beautiful well established hedge that has been part of my garden for the last 13 years. Its just the lack of respect that's annoying me and his bull in a china shop attitude of I can do what I want.
I keep telling myself I am better than them, and for them, this is their forever home, we will move onto bigger and better things, and hopefully nicer neighbours!

On the plus side, husband has just had a call about a job he had a second interview for yesterday, so fingers crossed!

theonlywayisup

tiredoflife wrote: »

I know, I know. Husband has told me to calm down, its just a hedge. A beautiful well established hedge that has been part of my garden for the last 13 years. Its just the lack of respect that's annoying me and his bull in a china shop attitude of I can do what I want.
I keep telling myself I am better than them, and for them, this is their forever home, we will move onto bigger and better things, and hopefully nicer neighbours!

On the plus side, husband has just had a call about a job he had a second interview for yesterday, so fingers crossed!

It isn't your hedge. It is your neighbour's hedge.

He can do anything he wants to it because it is his.

I can understand it's annoying but really, you do need to get this in perspective. It's not yours.

tiredoflife

Well to be fair, he has said its his hedge, he hasn't checked the boundary and it turns out the hedge actually goes over both our gardens, as his "boys" have just confirmed, so a grey area in my books.

My whole point is the way he is doing it, no saying do you mind etc. Just, I am doing it and then laughing in the garden about it saying we cant do jack !!!! about it.

Still, what comes around goes around.....

paddy's_mum

tiredoflife wrote: »

How can a bloody hedge make me so upset and angry!

Because it's not just a hedge.

It's a thing of use and beauty and you have put a considerable amount of time in caring for it. It enhances your enjoyment of your own garden.

It's because your neighbours are treating you with contempt when you know that you don't deserve to be treated in this manner when you have already been more than tolerant of their wishes/actions.

It's because they are adding to your stress levels by being sneaky when you are already fretting yourself to death over the redundancy issue.

It's because their dogs and the safety of your child are creating deep fear in you.

It's territorial - you feel that they are stealing from you - your privacy, your freedom to use your land as you wish, your child's safety.

All those things added together create a cocktail of anger and upset. You are entitled to feel extremely "£$%^&* off but at least if you can recognise the basis of your distress, you can defuse it and calm down.

I am entirely in sympathy with you having once endured years of a dementia'd neighbour's boundary dispute. I know exactly where you are coming from but try to keep a lid on it. The neighbours are idiots who are p**ping on their own back doorstep!

Your day will come, I promise you.

tiredoflife

Thank you Paddys mum, legend. x

loveka

I have just posted a similar thread, so I feel your pain.

My neighbour is a arrogant bully. Sounds like yours is too.

If I were you I would try to find the money for a fence somehow. In our back garden we have planted a row of willow and some bamboo (£175) and have ordered a 6 foot wide but only 3 foot deep (£275) shed to put along the boundary to give us some privacy from them. This might be a short term solution for you in till you can afford a fence? You can plant bamboo now, but not willow. Winter Joy is a great variety, as it keeps its leaves in winter, and is clump forming so non invasive. £44 per plant, they come 5 foot high and will get taller.

Ours have built an extension with plate glass all across what was their garden, so that is what we are trying to screen. He doesnt want any sort of fence or curtains , just wants us to sit in our garden watching him eat his dinner in his house, lying on his sofa watching telly , we can see it all! To get him to build a fence/ let us do it will involve going to court in our case, as our deeds don't say who is responsible for the boundary.

Read the land registry guide to fences. It is very clear and informative, although I am still a bit confused about our case!