Change childs name by Court order

Mollypolly1956

Hi Guest101
It is my daughters child not mine.
But his daddy has been offered contact many times. At first there was always arguments between them so I took over the visits.
I can't tell you how many times I have sat waiting for him to turn up at fun houses, my daughters house, my house. he has loads of chances.
Once he realised he wasn't able to manipulate my daughter back into his life he lost all interest in seeing his son.
He is happily in another relationship now.....poor girl
He now has three children by three different mothers and he doesn't see any of them.

Tammykitty

Guest101 wrote: »

But maybe they didn't want to marry you?


What have you got to do with their relationship with their kids?


- im asking as a general point, obviously your circumstances are unique, but the whole marry me or else thing seems odd

A child is not a possession, both parents are the child's parents, and therefore both have an equal right to give their surname to the child.


It bothers me when people say, why would you give your child his Dad's surname, equally why would a dad want to give his child the mothers surname?


A school may give the option of preferred surname, but if the other parent objects, the school will use the legal name (assuming both parents have PR)

Mollypolly1956

Just a quick note....my daughter didn't ask to completely change his surname just add hers onto it to make it easier when he is growing up.
When he was given his daddy's name it was because my daughter thought they would live happy ever after........she soon learnt differently.

Guest101

Mollypolly1956 wrote: »

Hi Guest101
It is my daughters child not mine.
But his daddy has been offered contact many times. At first there was always arguments between them so I took over the visits.
I can't tell you how many times I have sat waiting for him to turn up at fun houses, my daughters house, my house. he has loads of chances.
Once he realised he wasn't able to manipulate my daughter back into his life he lost all interest in seeing his son.
He is happily in another relationship now.....poor girl
He now has three children by three different mothers and he doesn't see any of them.

Apologies, yes your granddaughter.


Well as long as its been offered not much more you can do

Guest101

Tammykitty wrote: »

A child is not a possession, both parents are the child's parents, and therefore both have an equal right to give their surname to the child. - I agree in principal. Though you seem to be contradicting by saying a child is not a possession and then saying, in essence, a child is the possession of both parents.


It bothers me when people say, why would you give your child his Dad's surname, equally why would a dad want to give his child the mothers surname? - Honestly it didn't bother me, by son, following traditions of my country took my name as his middle name (son of), but I guess its different in this country.


A school may give the option of preferred surname, but if the other parent objects, the school will use the legal name (assuming both parents have PR)

My main point was about the 'marry me or else' philosophy.


It seems in principle that alwaysskint96 didn't have an issue with child having the dads surname, and was more resentful that he didn't want to marry her.

anibell

Hi OP, I had this problem when I split from my ex when my son was a baby. He has never been in the picture since. He was on the birth certificate but did not have parental consent. We were not married either.

I just told the doctors, dentist etc that his surname had changed to my (now) maiden name and it was no problem. When he went to school they accepted the new surname because he had been using it for a
while. I did have to get a change of name form done for a passport though (I'm in Scotland), although I
could have used his birth name for this to save any hassle. Is this an option?

Good luck :-)

maman

:hello:all good here mollypolly. Still using other thread to keep be on the straight and narrow.;)

Bearnard wrote: »

That option wasn't there 2 years ago when my other daughter started but I just put in the surname I wanted to use, no questions were asked and it's not been an issue. I know that is what they did with my stepbrother, he was simply enrolled at school with my dads surname and that is the name on his exam certificates and passport and bank account. His dad is named on his birth certificate and has PR.

That's surprising as the original school s/he was enrolled at should have had sight of the birth certificate (to check he was the right age for starting school) and questioned why the different surnames.

Guest101

anibell wrote: »

Hi OP, I had this problem when I split from my ex when my son was a baby. He has never been in the picture since. He was on the birth certificate but did not have parental consent. We were not married either.

I just told the doctors, dentist etc that his surname had changed to my (now) maiden name and it was no problem. When he went to school they accepted the new surname because he had been using it for a
while. I did have to get a change of name form done for a passport though (I'm in Scotland), although I
could have used his birth name for this to save any hassle. Is this an option?

Good luck :-)

Im not sure what you did was strictly 100% legal, by virtue of being on the birth certificate he has parental responsibility...

anibell

This was 17 years ago before automatic PR

anibell

Have to add OP that I don't think your daughter is being unreasonable in her requests to her ex. He hasn't seen his son even though he's had multiple opportunities. Your daughter could change her son's name, if her ex doesn't like it then he has to do something about it. If it will cost him money to do it, he may not bother.