DFW diary 2.0

Pinkwhisk

So, had to break into silver jar :-( . Although starting it in a poor month was never the correct answer! Am panicking about going into DRO as we rent, and are on a monthly rolling contract so wouldn't pass a credit check. And private rentals are few and far between :-( . I shall try and do our council housing application again, so at least we are on the list. Also, I wouldn't be able to have a job while in DRO either, but we can't afford bankruptcy fees - and that hasn't been recconmended to us anyway.

So annoyed it's us that got us into this mess and we can't get out of it - hopefully we will be able to soon.

Must try ringing IVA provider as haven't heard anything since we cancelled it. The only good thing about the DRO is its £20000 each, so if one of us has debts close to that, the other can have joint debts. As far as I know, our combined debts are around £15000.

PW x

Pinkwhisk

Hmm. Not much to report today. Feel like I'm in limbo waiting on HB and therefore council tax to be sorted out. Cant call IVA provider until oh is off as baby always senses when I'm on the phone and decides he's hungry or wants me to play! Will also do EBay stuff tomorrow.

OH keeps complaining about how little we have, but I can't get him to see its HIM that spends the money on s**t, not me! Argh, I just need him to open his eyes and see where its all going. I can't live another month like this I really can't, I feel so depressed and stressed.

PW x

Pinkwhisk

Think I'm going to pay someone to do a budget for us! It's s**t, budgeting and stressing and arguing. I'm scared that if we don't get it sorted now, we never will and it'll push us apart.

We also must get contents insurance sorted - and wills too. I know it will cost etc but it's worth it, we'll have to budget with that in our heads.

PW x

System

Hi PW - why don't you post your SOA here and we can try and help?
I think for me, the biggest mind shift has been once deciding on the budget sticking to it.....I've had budgets for years, but have never stuck to it. I also use YNAB (You need a budget.com) to help - which is it, but it costs money. Stepchange debt charity helped agree our first budget and this is what i am using. YNAB helps me track how I spend against it so it's really easy to see whether we are on track or not.
Please don't pay someone to do a budget for you - Stepchange, Citizens Advice Bureau, or Christians against poverty should all be able to help and it won't cost you a penny.

Contents insurance is fairly cheap so that makes sense (if you can afford it). i think wills are obviously important - but maybe not important right now to get an official one done- you could as a minimum just write down what you want in a will - this at least gives a clear steer to any surviving relatives (and will be good prep for a visit to a solicitor later on.

Is the trouble that it's not easy to agree your approach together?

Hugs - sounds like you are having a rough day x

System

Just another thought about YNAB - you can upload your bank transactions to it - so you could do this for the last 3 -6 months and then categorise your spends so you can see where exactly you are spending the cash? YNAB does do a free trial.....I would say I had a similarish issue with my DH in that he wasn't really playing his part - I actually got him to do YNAB and him to take charge of the budgets and that really helped to get everything on track. I now play more of a role, and he is clear how he has to contribute.

Pinkwhisk

Thank you both :-).

Yes it's so hard to agree on it all - he will agree then change his tune! It's hard as money causes us to fight which is why he avoids it and I have control of it all! I think I will re visit YNAB again.

I'm going to call national debtline again this afternoon to talk it through with them and do a budget.

I've called IVA who were as useful as a chocolate teapot! He should be emailing me with a list of our creditors (they don't send any of our documents back :-( ) and a time scale of when to receive the IVA certificate of failure.

I'm feeling much more positive, have had long talks with OH who is now onboard. I've explained my feelings etc and I think it's given him the kick he needed.

We just need it all sorting before baby understands what's going on - and it will be sorted soon!

PW x

ash302

Hi PW,


I wanted to stop by and say Hi.


I really feel for how your feeling now, I've been there.
I had my LBM in Jan this year, although only for the last 2-3 months have really started tackling the debts. I find it hard with my partner, he's on board with budgeting and clearing stuff although some days I think he forgets. I think its partly down to the fact that I pay all the bills and do the budgeting. That's just me having to be in control, I do try to include him.
Our debts are now slowly coming down (and I mean slowly) its so easy to build debt up but clearing it is a killer!!
There always seems to be something each month that we have to pay for. Car needs a new bit (I have no clue what, although its pricey) I've started putting £50 a month aside to save for this, whereas before I wouldn't have worried about sticking it on a credit card.


There are days where I am so down and feel so depressed, I look at everyone around me living there lives, going on holidays etc and I can barely afford my food shop some weeks. but then I think you never know what happens behind closed doors. For many years I was one of those people but actually I was getting myself deeper into debt.


It wont be long until you DMP is all up and running, I feel that the month goes so slow! But at the same time I can't believe its September next week!


Try doing some surveys, when you have some free time (although I no that's rare with a baby) I started with Opinion outpost last week and have already made £10 and am 35points away from my next £2.50. I also use one poll. you cant cash out until you hit £40 and that will take ages but will be nice to get that payment. From January, any money made this was will go into my Christmas 2017 account.


I've subscribed and will be here when your feeling down.


I'm so sorry for rambling on.
Speak soon, Ash x

Pinkwhisk

Hi,

Nice to hear from you! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this - sometimes it can feel your the only one!

More good news - I've got HB and CT back now so I can do a real budget! Wooo.

PW X

System

Knowledge is power!

Pinkwhisk

One week till pay day, one week till payday tralaalaaalaa! Sorry, just excited! So we are doing our budget tomorrow ( me showing OH the budget and adjusting as nessecary!) . Need to decide what to put his income down as as it varies slightly as he's hourly paid. I want to put the higher amount to cover ourselves but that could throw the budget out for DRO so I think we'll work out an average!

PW x