THE Prepping thread - a new beginning :)

thriftwizard

Indeed I do, Fuddle - sorry, no quotes or bold type, the forum software's being "difficult" in Safari today for some reason - but I do wonder how many other places, particularly across the "wealthy" south & south-west, are like this? A sense of a LOT of people skating on very thin ice, of never letting the cracks show and never letting down your guard? Always got the face on & the best foot forward, but struggling like mad underneath the waterline, if I may mix my metaphors? I'm hearing horror stories from my niece, deputy head of a primary school in a fairly leafy part of the Home Counties, having to take food into work to give to children with no money for breakfast club, no lunchbox, and not much chance of anything more than beans on toast for supper, and I know she's far from alone.

jk0

My African friend recently regained custody of his 15 year old son. The other son still lives in London with his mum.

My friend intends to go to Africa next month for two weeks leaving his son home alone. He has asked me to keep an eye on him. I suggested the lad should go and stay with his aunt here in Reading, but my friend won't do this as they took wife's side in separation.

It doesn't sound like my friend even plans to leave his son more than £20 and some frozen meat to warm up with rice.

I'm considering going over to cook son a proper meal every evening. What would you guys do?

moneyistooshorttomention

Well - definitely make sure that son gets fed properly one way or another - whatever else I might have in mind.

You're right - there's no way £20 would go anywhere near enough to feed him. All the more so - as his definition of feeding himself would probably equal heading for the nearest takeway left to himself.

Maybe check out the state of the food cupboards to make sure he's well stocked-up with food for breakfast/lunch/etc and make sure I personally supervised him getting dinner inside him each night one way or another.

maryb

He'll be lucky to retain custody if he does that - 15 is too young to leave them alone overnight, let alone two weeks

jk0

maryb wrote: »

He'll be lucky to retain custody if he does that - 15 is too young to leave them alone overnight, let alone two weeks

I know!

We've all been sworn to secrecy, so I want to forestall any problems, by doing the best I can.

GreyQueen

jk0 wrote: »

My African friend recently regained custody of his 15 year old son. The other son still lives in London with his mum.

My friend intends to go to Africa next month for two weeks leaving his son home alone. He has asked me to keep an eye on him. I suggested the lad should go and stay with his aunt here in Reading, but my friend won't do this as they took wife's side in separation.

It doesn't sound like my friend even plans to leave his son more than £20 and some frozen meat to warm up with rice.

I'm considering going over to cook son a proper meal every evening. What would you guys do?

Sorry to diss your mate, jk0, but he's an idiot as well as taking real risks with his lad's safety. A 15 y.o. is old enough to get himself into bad company and bring some of that home with him - could end up with the place trashed.

As to you going over every night to cook for him, I would draw your attention to the potential for unsavoury accusations being levied at a man being alone with a boy not of his own family without parental supervision.

In my job, and in my volunteer time at the CAB, we were never to be alone with minors without an adult to chaperone us. Not because we were believed to be unwholesome types, but to protect ourselves against any possibility of accusations. Even groundless accusations ruin lives.

jk0

Thanks GQ. Sounds like I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't.

maryb

Best thing you can do is persuade him to let the boy go to his aunt. She will probably find out anyway - 15 year olds are only good liars when it comes to their own business - and then I wouldn't be surprised if social services got involved. They would certainly get involved if he gets into any trouble while your friend is away. And if his school finds out, they will phone his next of kin, presumably his mother, and your friend can expect another Family Court appearance

[Deleted User]

If the lad is still at school then the school will need the name and address of a responsible adult to contact in the event of an emergency during that 2 weeks, someone who could sign a hospital consent form if an operation was necessary and if there isn't anyone I suspect Social Services would be called in. A more sensible thing would be for the father to see if a school friends parents would have the lad for the time he's away and that would ensure his safety and that he would be fed and looked after properly.

As far as I'm aware the legal age for leaving a child at home alone is 12 years old but I'm certain that doesn't mean totally alone for 2 weeks, I think it means for the time you work or have to be out.

GreyQueen

Sadly so, jk0.

If your pal thinks this kind of thing is acceptable, it makes me wonder if the family court made the right call on awarding him custody in the first place. I'm pretty sure childrens social services would take an interest and, if he lets this slip anywhere in the hearing of a teacher or another responsible adult, safe-guarding procedures will have to be instigated - it would be a very serious dereliction of duty not to do so.

Even as a mere customer services person witha job role which involves no direct contact with children, I and all my colleagues have to be trained to be ever-alert to the merest hint of safe-guarding issues for children and for vulnerable adults.