THE Prepping thread - a new beginning :)

cbrown372

Live_laugh_love wrote: »

Thank you every one, think I will bite the bullet and ask each parent what their funeral wishes are, where the wills are kept and where they keep all the important paperwork stuff, then write it all down.
In actual fact,think I'll do that for me and Hubs as well and give it to my eldest, coz you just never know what's next up in life!

^^^ This, when my Dad died, fairly unexpectedly, all we had to do was open the drawer in his desk and he had written out a list off all the important details, lawer, will, funeral wishes and preferred funeral director, pension details, NI number and tax office details, bank accounts, share certificates etc.

This was pre internet times whereas now people use more than one bank, POA is more prevelant, and of course all the dreaded passwords so not wise to leave all this information in one place that is easily accessed. It is something you need to give a bit of thought to.

mardatha

I love your sig, cbrown372 !

pineapple

fuddle wrote: »

I had no clue what to do. The path opens as you wander down it LLL. Everything falls into place because one thing can't be done without the other.

Being prepared has it's uses, absolutely, but don't be thinking that you need to be for this ok? It can be done, and done well, without any prior knowledge. My advice would be, when the times comes, is just be organised.

I found this too. When my mother died as an only child I had to sort everything. My father was still around but in denial (he wouldn't even come to the funeral). I had no prior experience but it was indeed like a path unfolding in front of me. I remember going to register the death and being given a leaflet. It's all a bit murky now but I remember needing lots of copies of death certificates! I had a folder with cellophane envelopes so everything relating to it was together but separate.
It's useful if your parents are organised and you know where the will and all the financial stuff is. Oh and address books too so you can notify their friends and contacts. The only thing I wish I had done beforehand was to research into humanist /alternative burials. Neither of them was religious or bothered where they ended up so it would have been more for my benefit. I found the standard affair fake, unnecessary and expensive - even though I kept everything to a minimum. I didn't know at that point that you are not required by law to use a Funeral Director. Talking of which - the one thing I have never forgotten is asking a Funeral Director whether there were any rules about what they should wear or have in the coffin if cremated and I was told they had to meet EU combustion standards.

Karmacat

greenbee wrote: »

I still haven't had a final statement from John Lewis credit card Karmacat, although they've asked me to settle the account... I've told them I can't until I've seen the statement, so we'll see what happens.

greenbee, that's awful, it's been a while now for you

We're currently trying to work out what we're going to do and what we want the solicitor to do - although most of it is straightforward, it's a question of having the time available to get it done.

Me, my brother and sister all happen to have retired this year, so the time is theoretically there. Everything seems straightforward, but some firms can be unbelievably nitpicking - like the Halifax quizzing me on my credit profile, when I've just changed energy supplier, instead of asking for photo ID. The stress was unbelievable.

Does anyone REALLY feel up to writing a covering letter in these circumstances. Forms I can fill in. Letters I can't do.

Nor me ...

fuddle wrote: »

I'm 3 months down the road of sorting through my mam's probate myself LLL. I had no clue what to do. The path opens as you wander down it LLL. Everything falls into place because one thing can't be done without the other.

Being prepared has it's uses, absolutely, but don't be thinking that you need to be for this ok? It can be done, and done well, without any prior knowledge. My advice would be, when the times comes, is just be organised.

Beautifully put

Sorry Karmacat I have to disagree about the bank account. It is only frozen if over the threshold.

:oMea culpa, you're right, her current account money was transferred within a few days (Christmas delayed the process). My brother did a lot of cancelling direct debits and reinstating them on the new account, and thats how we're keeping the house going for now.

I blame a brain freeze on my part

pineapple wrote: »

Oh and address books too so you can notify their friends and contacts. The only thing I wish I had done beforehand was to research into humanist /alternative burials. Neither of them was religious or bothered where they ended up so it would have been more for my benefit.

I suppose thats another thing on which there's individual differences. We were offered a civil celebrant straight away, and offered a choice of using a green woodland site.

I found the standard affair fake, unnecessary and expensive - even though I kept everything to a minimum.

I don't like the singsong voice that's often used by religious ministers at services, and unfortunately the civil celebrant used it too. Maybe it won't be long before funeral directors will have short clips to watch when you're organising the funeral so we can catch this sort of stuff.

I didn't know at that point that you are not required by law to use a Funeral Director. Talking of which - the one thing I have never forgotten is asking a Funeral Director whether there were any rules about what they should wear or have in the coffin if cremated and I was told they had to meet EU combustion standards.

My business partner used a funeral director only to have a safe place to store his mum's body - he bought the coffin from the local eco store, and carried out the service himself. I don't think I'd have liked to have done that

The combustion thing - yes, we tried to keep to that, supplying cotton or wool clothing. It's a bit of a shock.

Save

pineapple

On a slightly humorous note, some unstamped mail was sent to my deceased father and he was required to go to the sorting office to collect it and pay the surcharge. I went to collect it and pay up 'because he's dead', I said in a loud voice. Folks in the queue didn't know where to look. The poor guy behind the counter practically threw it at me, saying 'no charge' as he disappeared from sight

GreyQueen

One of the things which Aunt arranged (their homes were about 50 yards apart) was to have a Royal Mail re-direct Nan's death, so that any post which came in well after her passing went to an executor.

This was very necessary as Nan was a tenant and the keys went back to the council after two weeks' notice, and thus the family wouldn't have any access to pick up mail.

The person who had my flat before me was also a friend of my neighbour SuperGran, so I know their name (or I did, have forgotten it now) and the month and year of their death.

When I was first here, I got shedloads of junk mail sent to him. I went and registered him as dead on a website and it dried up immediately. One thing which came in a year later was a reminder from his optician of an eye test being due.

I opened it and rang them, saying this was a courtesy call and that he had died. They thanked me and that was the end of that.

pineapple

GreyQueen wrote: »

I opened it and rang them, saying this was a courtesy call and that he had died. They thanked me and that was the end of that.

You can almost guarantee that something will turn up.
One thing I wasn't prepared for was a 'sales pitch' from the Crematorium exactly a year later - did I want a memorial plot at special rates? Unbelievable.

GreyQueen

pineapple wrote: »

You can almost guarantee that something will turn up.
One thing I wasn't prepared for was a 'sales pitch' from the Crematorium exactly a year later - did I want a memorial plot at special rates? Unbelievable.

Seven days after Nan's death, several of us were working on clearing the bungalow when her phone rang. Aunt picked up, and it was some !!!!!! insurance claims scammer.

She listened for a second then snapped; No, she hasn't been involved in a car accident, she was 93 and housebound and she's just died.

She slammed the phone down, visibly distressed. Hope the toe-rag on the other end felt the teensiest bit ashamed of themselves.

There was also a couple, halfway through the second week of the clearance, who just rocked up at the bungalow and walked up the front path as if they owned the place. When Dad (who was doing stuff outside) asked them what they wanted (he'd initially thought they might be council officers) he was airily told that they just wanted to have a look around.

He told them to leave, they chose to ignore him and walk around the bungalow as if to go in the back door - he had to go after them and be quite firm to get them to leave.

We don't know who they were, my bet is the lowest kind of roving antique dealers, hoping to find some good stuff they could buy for pennies on the pound of its real value.

greenbee

The junk mail suppression service is well worth knowing about. It takes a little time, but hopefully helps reduce distress.

I still have to deal with my dad's online stuff - I foresee a day of going through his notes (and he did have a list of websites, logins and passwords) trying to work out how to cancel his accounts. However, as his bank accounts and credit cards have been dealt with, there is at least no chance of anyone spending on them.

[Deleted User]

Live_laugh_love wrote: »

Is there anything I can do to prepare for the eventuality without me feeling like a !!!!! or shall I just hope that Google will be my friend and help me when it happens?!

First step depends on where the death occurs.

If it occurs in hospital, the staff will deal with the immediate aftermath.

If the death occurs at home, dial 999 immediately, even if the person appears to have died some time ago.

While awaiting the emergency services, do not disturb the scene.

The doctor who attends (if at home) or the staff (if at the hospital) will handle the initial paperwork.

Once you have the paperwork, take it to the Registrar, register the death and obtain copies of the death certificate. Obtain several (around half a dozen should normally suffice) to send to financial organisations (both creditors and debtors), Insurance companies, the Council, Utility companies, etc.

Next, take the paperwork to your Funeral Director of choice, and let them deal with the arrangements, but don't let them dictate the nature of the funeral. It's your relative, so yours is the final decision.

Disposal of the estate is in the following order:-

Funeral.
Taxes.
Rent and Council Tax.
Secured Debts.
Unsecured Debts.